Chapter 17
SEVENTEEN
ATLEE
No matter what’s going on with Devlin and his brothers, I’m spending the night with my sister. It’s been way too long, and maybe it’ll do me some good to be away from Devlin for a night. We’ve possibly been too close, too fast, even though I’m texting him right now.
Me
What are you planning on doing tonight?
Devlin
We’re playing poker and drinking bourbon.
Me
Are you heading home tonight afterward?
Devlin
No, we’re doing it at Grizzly River, and I’m hoping that I’m too drunk to miss you sleeping next to me, so I’m going to stay with Jesse and Aubree.
Those words send warmth to my chest.
Me
Don’t miss me too much.
Devlin
Babe, I’m gonna miss the hell outta you.
That endearment is enough to send a thrill through my stomach. I roll my eyes because of how hot he is when he’s not even trying to be, and quickly text him back.
Me
You’ll be fine, but I’ll miss you, too. I’m heading over to Lennon’s now.
Devlin
Be careful, love you.
Every time he tells me those words, I can’t believe this is the life I’m living, that someone I love loves me back.
Me
Love you, too.
Three hours later, Lennon and I have polished off a few drinks, eaten way too much spaghetti, and we’re laughing as we lie on her couch.
“Why don’t you tell me what’s up with you and Carson?” I give her a wink. “I didn’t know anything was going on with the two of you.”
She sighs heavily, taking a drink. “That’s because there’s absolutely nothing going on between the two of us.”
“You’re lying. You’re lying so hard. The question is, why are you lying?” I take a drink from my beer bottle and tip it toward her.
“Okayyyy.” She rolls her eyes, stretching the word out. “Carson came to the office a few months ago. He talked with Shawn, and I can’t tell you what it was about, but I had to fill out paperwork for him. We had to talk to one another in order for me to do that, and he flirted with me.”
“Flirted?” I question, wanting to know what happened.
“Yeah, he was charming and asked me out…”
I blurt out. “Did you go?”
“Yeah, but he stood me up.” She frowns, turning over onto her stomach. “And since then, he’s tried to get me to talk to him again, but it hurt my feelings.”
I wonder if he stood her up because they were rustling cattle, but I don’t say anything. “Would it be so bad if you gave him another shot?”
She cuts her eyes at me. “You know how we grew up, Atlee. We were always promised shit, but it was a lie. Our parents didn’t understand that they really needed to keep up with the promises they made.”
I understand what she’s saying. We’ve both been left scarred by our childhoods, but sometimes you have to make an exception to your rules. “Do you think you’d like him if you gave him a chance?”
“I don’t know.” She blows out a breath, her bangs moving. “Maybe that’s what I’m actually scared of.”
I sit up, tucking my legs beneath me as I consider my sister. We’re so different in some ways. She’s cautious, where I’m impulsive. She’s logical, where I follow my heart. But we share the same scars, the same history of disappointment and broken promises.
“You know,” I say carefully, swirling the beer in my bottle. “You could be missing out on something amazing if you don’t at least open your heart a little.”
Lennon snorts. “Says the girl who fell head over heels for a man in what? Two weeks?”
“I’m serious, Len,” I persist, ignoring her jab. “What if Carson is the one person who could actually get past all those walls you’ve built?”
“What if he’s not?” she counters, sitting up to face me. “What if I let him in and he just becomes another person who doesn’t show up when I need him?”
There’s real pain in her voice, and it hits me in the chest. I reach out, taking her hand in mine. “Then you pick yourself up and try again. Like we always have.”
“I’m tired of trying again,” she admits, her voice softer now. “I’m tired of believing people when they say they’ll be there and then finding myself alone anyway.”
I squeeze her hand. “Carson might have had a good reason for standing you up that night.”
She eyes me suspiciously. “Do you know something I don’t?”
I choose my words carefully, not wanting to give away anything about what the guys were doing. “I just think there’s more to him than maybe you’re giving him credit for. He seems genuinely interested in you.”
“At the bar the other night, you mean?” She takes another sip of her beer. “That was just flirting. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“Didn’t look like ‘just flirting’ to me,” I argue. “The way he looks at you, Len, it’s like he’s trying to figure you out. Like you’re a puzzle he wants to solve.”
“Great,” she mutters. “Just what I want to be. A puzzle.”
“You know what I mean,” I sigh, exasperated. “I saw the way you responded to him too. You light up around him. When was the last time anyone made you feel that way?”
She’s quiet for a moment, considering. “Mark, maybe. But look how that turned out.”
“Not every guy is Mark,” I remind her gently. “And you can’t judge every potential relationship by the failures of the past ones.”
Lennon leans back against the couch cushions, staring up at the ceiling. “That’s easy for you to say. You found a good one on your first try.”
I can’t help but laugh at that. “First try? Have you forgotten about Jake Peterson? Or Tyler from college? Or that disastrous date with the guy from the coffee shop?”
“Okay, point taken,” she concedes with a small smile. “But still, what you and Devlin have, it happened so fast, and it seems so solid already. That’s not normal, Atlee.”
“Maybe not,” I acknowledge. “But it’s real, and I almost missed out on it because I was scared.”
“Scared?” She looks surprised. “You’ve never been scared of anything.”
“That’s not true, and you know it,” I counter. “I was terrified of getting involved with Devlin at first. He seemed so intense, so…much. But taking that risk was the best decision I ever made.”
Lennon studies me for a long moment. “You really love him, don’t you?”
“I do,” I say simply. “And I can’t help thinking that maybe you’re missing out on that same feeling because you’re too afraid to take a chance.”
“It’s not just fear,” she insists. “It’s self-preservation. You know what happened with Mom and Dad. The way they tore each other apart. What if that’s our inheritance? What if we’re just wired to pick the wrong people, to turn love into something toxic?”
I shake my head firmly. “That’s not our inheritance, Len. We’re not our parents. We never have been.”
“But—”
“No buts,” I cut her off. “Look at us. Look at what we’ve made of ourselves despite everything they did. You’re a successful paralegal working for one of the best attorneys in the state. I’m a licensed pharmacist. We have our own places, our own lives. We broke the cycle.”
She doesn’t look convinced. “In some ways, maybe.”
“In all the ways that matter,” I insist. “And you could be letting the love of your life slip away because you’re still letting Mom and Dad’s mistakes define what you think is possible for yourself.”
Lennon throws a pillow at me, but there’s no real heat behind it. “Since when did you get so wise?”
“Since I let myself fall in love with a complicated man who makes me happier than I ever thought possible,” I reply honestly. “It changes your perspective.”
She’s quiet for a moment, picking at the label on her beer bottle. “What if I’m just not meant to be with anyone? What if some people are just supposed to be alone?”
The sadness in her voice breaks my heart a little. “Do you really believe that?”
“Sometimes,” she admits. “Not everyone gets a happy ending, Atlee. Some of us are supporting characters in other people’s love stories.”
“That’s bullshit,” I say firmly. “You’re the main character in your own story, Len. Always have been. And there’s no reason you can’t have what I have with Devlin, or something even better that works for you.”
“Maybe,” she says, but I can tell she’s not convinced.
“Just promise me you’ll think about giving Carson another chance if he asks again,” I urge. “Just one real date. If it’s terrible, I’ll never bring it up again.”
She sighs dramatically. “If it’ll get you off my back, fine. One date. If he asks again. Which he probably won’t.”
“He will,” I say confidently. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Whatever,” she mumbles, but I catch the faint smile tugging at her lips.
We lapse into comfortable silence for a while, the TV playing softly in the background. It’s nice just being here with her like old times, before Devlin, before the robbery.
“So,” Lennon finally says, breaking the silence. “You think you and Devlin are in it for the long haul?”
The question catches me off guard. “I hope so,” I answer honestly. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”
“Even with all the drama?” she asks pointedly. “The stuff with Noah and the Morrisons?”
I tense slightly, wondering how much she knows. “What do you mean?”
She gives me a look that says she’s not buying my innocent act. “Atlee, I work for Shawn Cooper. I’ve seen Devlin, Jesse, and Truett coming in and out of the office. I don’t know exactly what’s going on, but I know it’s serious.”
I take a deep breath, deciding how much to reveal. “It’s complicated,” I finally say. “But yes, even with all that. Maybe especially with all that. It’s easy to be with someone when everything’s perfect. The real test is standing by them when things get hard.”
“And you’re ready for that? Whatever comes next?”
“I am,” I say without hesitation. “He’s worth it. We’re worth it.”
Lennon studies me, then nods slowly. “Then I’m happy for you. And I’ve got your back, whatever happens. You know that, right?”
“I know,” I say, warmth spreading through my chest at her words. “And I’ve got yours too. Always.”
She yawns, stretching her arms over her head. “God, I’m tired. And maybe a little drunk.”
I laugh, feeling the pleasant buzz of alcohol myself. “Same. We should probably get some sleep.”
Lennon gets up, swaying slightly as she heads to her linen closet to grab blankets and pillows for the pull-out couch. “You good out here?”
“Perfect,” I assure her, helping her set up the makeshift bed.
Once we’ve got everything arranged, she pauses in the doorway of her bedroom. “Hey, Atlee?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” she says softly. “For pushing me about Carson. I don’t know if anything will ever happen there, but…it’s nice to know you believe I deserve something good.”
“You do,” I tell her earnestly. “You deserve everything good, Len.”
She smiles, a real smile that reaches her eyes. “So do you. Good night, sis.”
“Good night,” I reply, watching as she disappears into her room.
As I settle onto the pull-out couch, my phone buzzes with a text from Devlin.
Devlin
Miss you. Jesse is cheating at poker and I’m down $50.
I smile, typing back quickly.
Me
Miss you too. And he’s definitely cheating. Watch his left hand. I’ve heard rumors about that being his tell.
Devlin
Thanks for the tip. How’s your night with Lennon?
Me
Good. Talked about Carson actually.
Devlin
Oh yeah? Anything I should tell him?
I think about Lennon’s reluctant promise.
Me
Maybe. I’ll fill you in tomorrow. Go back to your game. Love you.
Devlin
Love you too. Sleep well.
I set my phone aside and snuggle down under the blankets, my thoughts drifting between Devlin and Lennon. I hope my sister will give Carson a chance. I hope she’ll open herself up to the possibility of finding what Devlin and I have found.
Not everyone believes in love stories with happy endings. Lennon has always been more pragmatic than I am and more guarded with her heart. But I’ve seen the way her eyes light up when Carson is around. I’ve seen the spark that she tries so hard to deny.
As I drift off to sleep, I find myself hoping that my sister is wrong, that she’s not meant to be alone, that there’s someone out there for her too.
Maybe it’s Carson, maybe it’s someone we haven’t even met yet.
But everyone deserves a chance at the kind of happiness I’ve found with Devlin, especially Lennon.
And if there’s one thing the Walsh sisters know how to do, it’s fight for what we want. Even if sometimes the hardest fight is against our own fears.