Chapter Thirty-Four
“ARE YOU SURE you want to do this?” Peyton asks from beside me.
Sitting on the bed, I fold the last article of clothing, a dress, and put it in the little suitcase.
I can’t believe we’re back to where we started this summer only a few weeks ago.
This time, though, I’m packing my own suitcase rather than hers.
Well, maybe not my suitcase because I borrowed it from Haven, but still.
I zip up my luggage and look at her. “Yes.”
She’s still not convinced. I didn’t think she would be because this isn’t the first time she’s asked me this question. Even though I’ve given her the same answer all week.
“Because you know you could just stay here,” she keeps insisting.
But I’m not going to stay here. I grab her hand and give it a squeeze. “Yes, I’m sure.” She opens her mouth to protest, but I don’t let her. “It’s Bozeman, okay? I’ve lived there since I was eleven. And you should know that because you were there too. We lived together.”
“But—”
“Not to mention, I’m going back to our apartment. So it’s all good. I can handle it.”
She keeps looking at me for a few seconds before sighing. “Fine. I just… I’m worried about you.”
My heart squeezes in my chest because I love her. She’s always been the one constant in my life, and I’m going to miss her. “I know. Because I’m worried about you too.”
At this, she rolls her eyes. “I’ll be fine. It’s just Breck.”
Now it’s my turn to give her a look. Because it’s not just Breck.
It’s the fact that her brother has asked her to live on the ranch for the summer.
The ranch that we both left years ago because of all the violence and bloodshed.
The ranch my friend never ever liked. I still had a few favorite spots on the property, but I know Peyton always felt trapped in that place.
She always felt like she couldn’t breathe.
And now she’s going back because that’s her brother’s condition.
To forget what happened the night they kidnapped me a week ago.
As I predicted, Breck called the next day—as soon as he figured out my father was lying half-dead in our house—and he knew the part the Graysons had played to get me free.
Not only that, but he knew exactly who came to my rescue; and when Breck threatened to call the cops on him, Peyton—my best friend, my constant—told Breck to cut it out or she’d never see him again.
She also told him about her own part, not only in getting me rescued, because how dare he kidnap her best friend for his land, but also her part in the revenge plan.
I know she did it for me. Not only because she loves me and was so genuinely worried about me, but also because she knows how much I love…
How much it meant to me that he didn’t end up behind bars again.
And it worked. Because her brother caved but on the condition that she spend the summer at Wildfire.
Which she agreed to, but only after I’d recuperated from all the injuries that my father caused because of Breck.
Which means if I’m leaving for Bozeman today, she’s leaving for Wildfire.
“I’m so worried, Pey,” I tell her and not for the first time. “What if he uses you in some way? What if you need to get away from him and you can’t? And your father, he… Now that we know about the will, about how it makes you a target, we need to be careful. I don’t think you should go.”
“And if I don’t, what happens to him?”
This time when my heart squeezes, I have to take a second for the pain to pass.
For the past week, people have been very careful around me.
They walk on tiptoe and avoid any and all mention of him, even though I’m still living in his house.
I’m still sleeping in his bedroom. I’m wearing the clothes he bought me.
The latter is only because I have no other clothes to wear, and after everything that I’ve learned through all this, I can’t go back to hiding.
And well, I’m brave and strong but not so much that I can cut all ties with him right away.
Which is why I’m also bringing these clothes with me to Bozeman.
He’s the man I love, and you don’t forget your love just like that. It’s going to take time, but I’m not going to rush myself through it. I’ve already spent my entire life trying not to feel things. So if it’s heartbreak I need to feel, then so be it.
Besides, what’s important is that he’s still keeping his promise of staying away from me.
He never shows up for any of the meals. He’s never in the corral where we saw Axton that first time.
I never catch a passing glance of him through the kitchen window.
In fact, I’ve seen more of Rebel, his horse, in the stables when I take my walks than I’ve seen of him.
Yes, I’ve started taking walks like I used to back at Wildfire.
The doctor who came to check me out after my injuries said fresh air would do me good.
Plus, I needed to keep myself busy or I’d lose my mind, waiting to get better and leave.
So in addition to helping Haven around the house, I also decided to explore the ranch and its beautiful rolling meadows and blue skies.
I make sure to steer clear of our barn, however.
Too many memories, and I already have so many other things to contend with.
I’ve found a couple of reading spots for myself too.
I will admit that every time I go for a walk, I hope to run into him.
So much so that sometimes the back of my neck prickles and I feel him watching.
I feel him following me, keeping an eye on me so I don’t get lost on his land, and I have to turn back to check if I’m right.
I’m not.
Because as much as he wants to keep me safe and protect me from things, he’s also very good at keeping his promises. I mean, he’s keeping his promise to his baby girl, isn’t he? He promised to keep her safe and he is.
Inside of him and not by seeking revenge.
God, okay. I need to take a breath here, because every time I think about it, I want to collapse on myself and sob.
With joy. With victory. With all the emotions that he makes me feel.
Turns out, after discovering my father’s almost dead body in the middle of the day, Breck also got a call from his lawyer that Peyton’s marriage and the power of attorney on her share of the land has been dissolved.
Not that it was binding in any way, given that I’d signed the papers, and in my name, no less.
While this was exactly what Breck wanted, or at least partially, Peyton was still trapped at Rawhide and he wanted her back.
Which is why he’d called in the first place, to ask after Peyton.
And when she made it clear that she hated her brother’s guts for doing what he did to me, Breck had to resort to blackmail.
But the point is that Arsen gave it up.
He gave up on his quest for revenge, and no matter where things stand between us, I can’t pretend I’m not affected by it.
I can’t pretend that I don’t know he’s doing it for Rose.
He’s finally, finally, going to live. He’s finally going to move past it and let his baby girl live through him. As he should.
He deserves to live no matter what he thinks about himself.
So in the past week, while he was busy keeping his promise to stay away from me, I was also busy trying to not look for him and just… throw my arms around him and hold on to him. Just tell him how happy I am for him and how every night, I cry for him into my pillow.
At which point, I remind myself that even though he has a future now and I have a future, they’re not the same.
I don’t want them to be the same. The truth is, I told him I loved him and he told me to leave.
So I’m not going to beg someone for love.
I’m not going to wonder why he doesn’t love me.
I’ve done all that before. So what I need to do now is forget I’m just some girl to him and move on with my own life.
Which brings me back to the moment and Peyton’s question.
“Maybe there’s another way,” I tell her. “Besides, how do we know Breck’s going to keep his promise? He could still call the cops when you’re there.”
Apparently, Breck has the camera footage from that night that shows Arsen and Rad entering the ranch, and he refuses to give it up or destroy it, calling it his insurance policy.
Something no one in the Grayson family likes and for good reason.
Except him. He doesn’t care, and he said so.
While the tape doesn’t show Arsen’s face, it does show a man wearing a bull mask, which can be traced back to the mask he wore eight years ago.
Rad wore a mask, too, but there’s less chance of him being made than of Arsen.
Marsden is extremely angry about it all, and both brothers had a huge problem with Arsen’s recklessness.
Also about the fact that Arsen didn’t want Peyton to go, not for him.
He didn’t want anyone to risk their safety for him.
While Marsden also doesn’t like Breck’s condition, he understood that they might not have a choice in the matter except delivering Peyton to them.
Although none of them had anything on Rad’s anger.
That quiet man roared the loudest during the argument and said in no uncertain terms there was no way Peyton was going.
Which pissed Peyton off because who the hell is he telling her what to do; and if she wanted to go, she would.
All in all, it was a big mess that involved a lot of shouting and cursing and big decisions.
If I’d had the capacity to join in the shouting match, I would have.
I didn’t want Peyton to agree to Breck’s condition either.
But back then, I was still in a lot of pain, and all I could do was sit in Marsden’s office when Breck called and let it all play out, while staring at my best friend with dread in my eyes.