Chapter 19
Winter
Caden eases his truck into the parking lot in front of the rink, and I breathe out a little laugh when I realise that we’re the only car in the lot.
Caden’s mouth lifts into a handsome smile when his gaze flicks down to mine, and then he returns his eyes to the blacktop as he pulls the truck to a stop.
He puts it in park, releases his seat-belt, and then turns around in his seat, his strong hands working my buckle to put me at ease.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, his voice deep in the warm cab, well aware of how long it’s been since I last skated at this rink.
I glance at the beautiful wood-panelled building in front of us, the only rink that we’ve got in our small town, with two winter spruces by the front doors decorated with red and green checkered bows.
All it needs is a dusting of snow and then this place is completely perfect.
It’s the epitome of winter.
And it’s even better than I remember it.
“I feel good,” I say softly, smiling up at Caden as he rubs my cheek.
Because aside from the long scar curved around my ankle, maybe time does heal most wounds.
Caden searches my eyes, slowly gauging my reaction, before rumbling deeply, “Wanna head inside?”
And as soon as I nod my head, he smiles down at me and pulls me toward him, making me squeal as his lips meet mine, hot and heavy in the intimate cab.
“Caden!” I whisper happily. “You’re going to make us steam up the windows!”
He chuckles gruffly before meeting my eyes, and his broad chest heaves. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”
I bite my smile and shove him away from me, making him grin as he quietly opens his door, and then he makes his way around the hood of the truck, meeting me at the passenger side so that he can help me down.
He takes my hand in his palm, guiding me down the step before closing my door, and then he drapes his favorite dark brown ranch jacket over my shoulders, keeping me sheltered and warm.
Seeing as we’re nearing the end of December, it’s a tiny bit cold in Kentucky, but the weather never seems to affect me when I’ve got my handsome cowboy by my side.
Caden grabs his gear-bag, locks up his truck, and tucks me securely beneath his biceps, holding me protectively against his side as we walk through the lot, heading toward the pines.
Caden spares them a look as we reach the doors, and he smirks down at me as I peek up at him.
He brushes a kiss against my temple and murmurs, “Our little Christmas tree will be that big someday.”
My face lights up with delighted laughter and Caden squeezes my shoulder as we breach the doors, the sugary scent of popcorn greeting my senses as we walk past the concession stand, decked out for the holidays.
“Still feeling okay?” Caden asks, and I twist my smile as I nod my head.
“Mm-hm,” I tell him softly.
But I haven’t seen the rink yet, I choose not to add.
Caden reads me like a book, and he links my fingers through his, sensing what I’m thinking.
“Baby,” he rumbles gently, “you can change your mind at any time.”
“I should try,” I tell him honestly, and he squeezes me tighter as we reach the locker rooms.
And as soon as I glance at the door that we’re standing in front of, I peek back at Caden as he towers behind me.
A hint of a smile touches his lips.
I gesture to the sign. “This is the boys’ room.”
“Is it?” he asks teasingly, and in the next second, I’m screaming with laughter.
His smile-creases flex as I squeal, and he bands his strong forearms around my waist, kicking the door open with his quad as he squeezes my butt.
“This way, piglet.”
I burst out laughing as he carries me inside, knowing that it’s safe because no-one else is here, and my cowgirl boots dangle above the floor as he drops his gear bag and opens a locker.
The whole facility is total luxury, combining ranch interiors with dark emerald tiles, making the space seem rich and intimate, the perfect homage to our small town.
“Caden,” I laugh, “I shouldn’t be in here, I should be waiting outside.”
“You’re already dressed, and I like having you next to me. And I would never make you wait outside.”
He rubs his palm over my thermal outfit, giving me a once-over as he lowers me down, and I take a seat on the dark centre bench, leaning back on my palms as he checks me out.
His gaze roams down my high-neck shirt and fitted pants, and he pushes his hair back when he reaches my cowgirl boots.
Then his eyes meet mine with a dimpled smile.
And my whole heart squeezes. He’s so freaking cute.
I tuck my boots up from the floor and fold my legs as I watch him change, unable to look away from his stunning body, broad and rippling as he turns my way.
He dresses neatly and in total silence, completely unbothered by the fact that I’m watching him, but I reach toward him just before he pulls on his jersey, because he looks too beautiful for me to resist.
He’s not using protective gear tonight, because he’s not doing hockey drills, so I make the most of his bared chest by lifting up onto my knees and pressing against him.
He smirks down at me as I admire his muscles, his large biceps flexing when I stroke his throat.
“Mmm,” he murmurs teasingly. “I had a dream like this once.”
I smile mischievously as I beam up at him and then I kiss his neck. “Just once?”
“Every night,” he rumbles, correcting himself. “Every night that I was away from you this semester.”
I kiss him again and he groans quietly, his palms splaying across my back and urging me closer.
I pull away from him and sit back on the bench, watching his large chest heave as he bears down on me.
“This isn’t over,” he says huskily, and I tilt my head to the side with a teasing smile.
“We can’t do anything like you-know-what in a public locker room,” I whisper up at him.
He laughs softly as he meets my eyes. “Not with that attitude.”
He pulls on his jersey, deals with the locker, and then takes my hand protectively in his, walking like a bodyguard at my side as he dangles his hockey boots from his fingers.
“I called ahead to make sure that we’d have the rink to ourselves,” he says. “And I also asked the guys to have some skates ready for you.”
I peek up at him from under my lashes, my heart warming as he squeezes my hand.
“Okay,” I tell him softly, and Caden pushes open the door… and the stunning rink is suddenly in front of us, sparkling like diamond-encrusted snow.
The icy air meets my skin and my cheeks blush pink, no longer blinking.
Because this is where my dreams started and ended all of those years ago.
And it’s where Caden learned to skate for me – not knowing that one day he’d be a D1 hockey star.
Caden holds my hand securely in his as I take my time looking around the arena, the bright white space perfectly clean as we walk slowly down the steps of the aisle.
“It’s even more beautiful than I remember,” I admit, my breathing laboured as we reach the last step.
The small gate to the ice is barely five feet in front of us, and I look back at Caden over my shoulder as I feel his gaze trailing over my skin.
“Want to stay here?” he asks, his deep voice rumbling as I meet his eyes. “We can just stay in the seats, and take it all in if you want.”
I glance down at the skates that have been left out for me. And in my heart, I just know.
Caden’s large palms grip my waist as I toe my cowgirl boots to the floor, and I steady my hands on the expanse of his shoulders so that I can maintain my balance as I tug them off.
As soon as they’re off, Caden gets to his knees, pulling the skates in front of me as I take a seat in the stands.
And I look down at the baby pink laces and fight back a smile. “Okay, they’re cute.”
Caden’s long lashes brush his cheeks as he smiles, and he rumbles softly, “Nowhere near as cute as you.”
Then he starts unfastening the laces and I nibble my thumb, my hands shaking.
Caden stares at my trembling fingers for five long seconds before looking into my eyes.
“Winter,” he murmurs, but I swish my curls, snapping myself out of it.
“It’s okay,” I tell him, helping him with the skate so that I can slip my foot inside, and I try to keep my breathing under control as I wiggle my foot into the white boot.
I stare down at it for a moment, well aware that this is my first time wearing ice skates in forever.
“I’ll be fine,” I whisper, breathing out a laugh as Caden cups my cheek. “As long as you maybe don’t let go of me while we’re out there.”
“I would never,” he says gruffly.
I nod gently as he squeezes my knees, and then he returns his attention back to the skate, looping the laces around his strong fingers and pulling them taut before tying them up.
Then he picks up the second one and meets my eyes as he caresses my ankle.
“Okay?” he asks huskily.
I swallow quietly and nod, “Okay.”
Because I know exactly what he’s thinking.
This is the ankle.
The ankle that I perfected so many jumps and spins on.
And the ankle that was torn open by the blade of another.
He watches me carefully before dropping his gaze back to my feet, using his thumb to lift the hem of my pants and exposing the curved pink line around my lower leg.
He strokes it gently with the warm pad of his thumb before hunching lower and brushing it with a kiss.
And my heart thunders in my chest when his beautiful mouth meets my skin, my chest rising and falling faster as I stroke my fingers through his hair.
He exhales roughly when he feels my hands, and he looks up at me from under his lashes.
“I love you so much,” he rumbles quietly. “I won’t let anything like that happen to you again.”
“I know,” I whisper back to him, even though none of us could have prevented what happened that night.
Because it wasn’t my skating that injured my ankle.
It was one of my competitors.
The bite of her blade as she cut through my ankle is one of those feelings that I’ll never forget, the pool of red that gathered around me almost obscene against the sparkling white canvas.
The second that it happened, I knew that I couldn’t skate again – not to the level that I’d been competing at, or with the confidence that I’d grown. But my dad stayed with me in the hospital, holding my hand every time I crumbled, and telling me how strong I was, even when I wasn’t.
And when I asked him if this was God’s plan, he was quiet for a moment, big shoulders rising and falling in his favorite green plaid shirt.
And then he looked me in the eye and changed my life forever.
“When He closes one door, it’s because He’s opening one that’s even better.”
My dad tucked me protectively under his arm and let me sketch in his notebook as hope bloomed inside of me – and looking back on that day now, I realise that he was right.
I trusted that God would guide my life, and He gave me everything that I could ever pray for – blessing me with Caden, and his family, and a life at the ranch that people dream of.
Even now, with the upcoming rodeo, I just know that it’s His guidance. It’s as if what I went through as a figure skater was the training for where I am now.
I never sought revenge, and karma did its thing before I even left the ice – and the skater who sabotaged me was instantly disqualified and banned for life.
You reap what you sow, I remind myself softly.
And when I bring myself back to the present, I’ve never been more ready to get out on the ice.
Caden eases my foot inside the skate and pulls the laces carefully as he ties them, before kicking off his boots, grabbing his skates, and shoving them on.
He gets to his feet with a deep inhale and keeps his eyes on mine as he interlaces our fingers.
And he tugs me gently to my feet, chest rising as he gauges my reaction.
I inhale softly, surprised, that this feels like second-nature, maintaining my balance on the blades, despite the amount of time since I last wore them.
I peek down at our boots, making sure that I’m stable, and I laugh shyly as I take a step, because this doesn’t feel real.
“How is it?” Caden asks, holding my hands as he back-steps toward the ice.
“Familiar,” I admit, feeling my cheeks blush as I smile up at him.
And he gives me a handsome grin in response, walking me steadily to the rink’s door.
“Good familiar?” he asks, his voice deepening as he nudges the door, and I flick a look at the twinkling ice as he steps effortlessly back onto it, not even watching where he’s going because he’s so confident.
I swallow quietly and blink away my nerves. I used to be that confident, too.
And you will be again, I reassure myself. All you have to do is take the first step.
“I think so,” I breathe shakily, lifting my right boot over the ice, as I prepare myself for the sensation – the liquid solidity of the rink. So hard yet so slick, like a frozen lake in the lower mountains.
My blade touches the ice, and everything becomes quiet, immediately lost in the feel as I push myself forward.
I move gently from the edge of the rink and Caden skates backward, barely lifting a boot, our movements naturally in sync as if our bodies have been waiting for this moment.
“Hey,” he rumbles softly, peering down at me as he squeezes my hands, and I look up at him from under my lashes, my dimples deepening as I skate forward.
His handsome smile curves his mouth and my heart squeezes.
I’m finally home.
Caden tugs me closer, eyes flicking to my lips, and he moves my hand so that it’s over his broad shoulder, enveloping his free palm around my waist and caressing it firmly as I glance up at him.
“Want to do a gentle spin?” he asks, his voice husky as he looks me over, before meeting my eyes with his and pulling me even closer.
I smile up at him as his chest brushes mine, and he groans out a laugh at the intimate sensation.
“Mm-hm,” I whisper.
He nods down at me. “Count of three, baby.”
He counts one, two, and on three he spins me effortlessly, chuckling gruffly at my squeal of surprise and spanking my butt as I explode with laughter.
Our blades curve perfectly over the ice as the cool air of the rink whips all around us, and then I’m looping my arms around Caden’s neck as he gathers me against him, rubbing my back.
“This feels so good,” he admits hoarsely, his hands all over me as I bite back my smile.
“It feels perfect,” I laugh softly. “It feels perfect because I’m here with you.”
His smile-creases flex as his eyes sparkle, and then I’m squealing with laughter as he lifts me up, his big body holding me protectively as he grins and twirls me in the air.
The whole arena becomes a blur of sparkling white ice and holiday decorations, Caden’s strong fingers gripping my waist and his eyes crinkling as he spins me around.
I cup my palms around his strong jaw and he lifts his chin so that he can kiss me, a soft groan escaping his lips when his tongue meets mine, warm and perfect.
“I love you,” I whisper softly, and he inhales deeply as he rubs my back.
“I love you more than you’ll ever know,” he rumbles.
And then he kisses me again.