10. Chapter Ten
Chapter Ten
Libby
My own hand doesn’t cut it anymore.
Ever since that moment three days ago when I took a chance and goaded Blue into touching me, I haven’t been able to achieve that level of…intensity by myself.
Flipping through my phone, I can’t find any inspiration either.
It used to feel exciting sneaking onto the sexy webpages, watching people do all kinds of crazy things.
Nothing compares with the very real feel of Blue’s body framed around mine, or how he held me so tightly when I came.
How his hot breath tickled my ear.
Or his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of my neck.
I swear I felt him kissing me there. Even if he claimed it would only happen once, why did he risk that?
And he was so hard grinding against me, there was no question he wanted more.
Why not?
Burying my face in my pillow doesn’t answer that nagging puzzle.
I don’t understand how he both rejected me, and gave me what I wanted at the same time?
Maybe I need to just keep pushing. There’s no denying the lust that burned in his eyes when he told me to “sit”.
Fuck.
That command in his voice was impossible to ignore.
It makes me wet to remember it.
His deep, animalistic growl vibrated through every piece of me. I could stay in bed all day until my fingers are wrinkly, making myself come over and over just thinking about him.
This has to be a crush. Maybe I should go back to Hilltop and find a guy to just mess around with.
I don’t want to be like my parents, working forever then getting sick with dreams and goals that they never got to do.
If Blue didn’t want to give in while he literally had his arm down my pants, there might be a good chance he never will.
Ouch.
That hurts.
But I still have the memory of his touch. I just wish I had a chance to see him. I’ve never seen a guy naked before. Not in person, only on these crappy pornos .
Blue has such big hands…I bet he has a huge co—
“Libby! I need your help, get your boots on!” Dad yells from the living room.
Well, shit.
I button my jeans before opening my door.
If we sell off the herd, I might have to get a job in town. At least I’d have my own place then. I could flick the bean all day without interruption.
“Coming!”
I wish.
When I turn the corner out of the hall, I freeze mid-step.
Blue is standing next to Dad.
“Lib, I need you to run through the stock with Blue.” Dad leans against the counter and picks up his keys.
“Why? Where are you going?” I’m not sure if I trust myself around Blue. My heart is still beating quickly from being stopped in the middle of fantasizing about the very man staring me down cooly.
I want to scream at him being so calm.
Or jump him.
“I have to run to town. Lucy is down with mastitis again because she won’t stop breaking out of her stall and laying in the manure pile.” Dad rolls his eyes. “That cow is a pain in my ass.”
“Why can’t Devon show him?” I meet Blue’s lidded gaze boldly.
He can’t intimidate me .
The corner of his mouth twitches up, then one of his icy eyes winks at me.
Asshole. I bet he knows what I was just doing.
“Your brother is at school.” Dad glowers at me. “We have a buyer coming for ten head next week. Help Blue pick out some nice three to four year olds so he can start the work up on them.” He slips his Carhartt from the hook and threads it over his thick arms.
“Wait, no. I told you I’m gonna figure out a way, Dad. We don’t need to sell them, I can do it.” If I don’t fight back, the whole herd will be gone before I know it.
Dad runs his palm over his face and shakes his head. “We talked about this. The buyer is paying higher than market. Besides, you aren’t ready for this, Lib. You’re still a damn kid,” he grumbles before slamming the door behind him.
“Bullshit,” I mutter to the wood paneling.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I sure don’t think you’re a kid,” Blue chuckles from behind me.
I turn on my heel and squint at him, then move close enough I can press my palm against his chest.
His breath catches as he watches me.
“You know what would fix this? A slow comfortable screw against the wall.” I let my tongue drag over my lower lip before spinning away.
He lets out a small groan. “Lib…we talked about this—”
“I meant the drink, Blue.” I grab my jacket without looking at him. “I could really use one. In fact, I was just thinking a few minutes ago about going back up to Hilltop and seeing if that nice boy was there that you ran off the other day.”
Am I fucking with him?
Yes.
But he’s the one setting the rules.
I’m just playing outside the lines.
He catches up to me after only a few steps. “Is that what you really want to do?”
I stop long enough to plant one fist into my hip. “Are there other options?” I hold up both hands, wiggling my fingers in the air in front of his face. “My girls are getting tired, I’m ready for a pinch hitter.” Giving him my best smile, I turn and start stomping through the mud to the barn.
I’m nearly to the big bay doors when I hear him following.
It’s warmer inside, despite the open ends. Steam rises from the silage and noses of the resting cows.
The sickly sweet smell of rumination wafts over me, but I’m so used to it I barely notice.
Most of the big brown eyes just blink lazily as their jaws work. Every now and then an ear twitches as I walk past.
They’re used to me.
A few raise their heads as Blue passes, but new people aren’t a rare sight here either .
I finally stop in front of a brindle-colored Jersey. “Okay, this is BB.” Reaching past the rails and cleaning off her ID tag doesn’t even make her flinch. “She just turned three, so fits.”
Blue jots down her numbers into a dog-eared little notebook, then climbs over the fence to step around her.
She swings her head to watch, pausing in her chewing, but then ignores him as he scribbles something else down.
Around animal number four, curiosity is getting the best of me.
“Who’s the buyer?” I ask, making him pause with his hands on the bars.
“Outfit up near Spokane. I ran into the gal that owns it up at the livestock sale in Billings the other day. She said she was in the market.” He hoists himself up and over in a fluid motion.
“Oh yea? What else was she shopping for?” I can’t help it, I glare at him.
His elbows rest on the top rung and he grins at me. “Jealous? You think I’m gonna go flirting with some other woman while I could still smell your sweet little pussy on my fingers?” He laughs softly and turns away.
Meanwhile my face engulfs in flames.
But I still enjoy the view of his tight ass when he bends over.
Am I wrong to be out of shape over it?
It’s not like we’re a “thing” .
God, it sucks he turned me down. I have no idea what to do now.
Except want him. This is all new to me. I’ve never had the hots for anyone who wasn’t a movie celebrity.
“Isn’t that what guys do? Run around and fuck anything that moves?” I tilt my head innocently. “I mean, I’m not really well versed in all this. Only a damn child, remember?”
His jaw is clenched as he steps past the cow until he’s inches from me. “You’re the farthest thing from it, Lib. But you are Clay’s kid. So I hope you understand just how damn hard this is.”
I jut my chin the other way. “What is?” Raising one eyebrow, I’m not sure what to expect.
There’s just a part of me that wants to keep egging him on.
When he snakes his hand out and grips my wrist, tugging my arm between the bars, I’m taken by surprise.
Even more when he presses my palm against his bulging crotch. “This is,” he grunts, then releases me.
Did I just feel what I think I did?
“So don’t go acting like you’re the only one not getting what they want.” He flips me a sideways smile that shows off his dimple before climbing back to my side of the aisle.
That familiar buzz rushes through my body as he saunters casually next to me, acting like he didn’t just light me up like a damn Christmas tree .
“What about this one?” He gestures to a dark brown Guernsey cross.
“No, that’s Millie. She’s almost seven.” And one of my favorite girls.
Blue stays silent for a few moments. “You know they’re all going eventually?” he asks quietly.
A wave of nausea rolls through me.
“Not if I have anything to do with it. I’m gonna figure something out.” I don’t want to just give up.
I’m not expecting it when his arm drapes over my shoulder and he pulls me closer as we walk.
When his lips press against my temple, I don’t know what to do. “I have no doubts you’ll figure it out.”
Heat replaces the sour feeling and my breath trembles out of me when he lets me go.
What was that?
I want more.
In the beginning, I didn’t want to come out here with him, but now that we’re done, I don’t want him to go.
I catch a glimpse of Dad’s truck coming up the lane.
“Hey Blue?” I pause next to the exit.
He stops, his glacier eyes resting on me.
Like he did earlier, I grab his wrist as my other hand shoves down into my pants.
Then I pull it out and make a show of wiping my wet fingers on his, flashing him a wide smile. “To keep you from flirting with anyone else.”
I don’t look back, but I can hear him laugh.