24. Chapter Twenty-four
Chapter Twenty-four
Libby
I wish Blue could ride along. It would make this trip easier.
Everything is going to change while Dad is in the hospital. Hell, it already is changing.
So I have to fight to stay quiet. Not like he’s ever been that great of a listener.
Mom was the one who would let me rattle on. Maybe that’s why Char and I are such good friends? She lets me talk about whatever I want.
I wonder what Mom would say about Blue? She’d hug me tight and tell me she just wants me to be happy.
A knot forms in my throat and the road gets a little blurry through the tears welling.
“Everything okay?” Dad asks.
It isn’t like him to notice.
“Just thinking about Mom.” I smear my cheeks trying to clear my eyes.
He slumps against his seat. “Me too. She’d be here to take care of you two.”
God, he’s frustrating. “ Devon and I are gonna be fine, Dad. I’ll make sure of it.”
“I figured Char will toss you some money now that she’s tied up with that fancy ranch. Maybe you should hook up with that McCullough kid, he’s got ties enough to keep you fed.” Dad stares out the window.
Completely clueless.
My knuckles turn white as I squeeze the wheel. “No, I’m not working for Char. And Sawyer isn’t my type.”
Dad turns, focusing on me. “Don’t be picky in this world, Lib. Marrying for love is a waste of time. Find someone who’ll take care of you, the rest’ll come later.”
That makes my breath hitch. “Didn’t you and Mom marry for it?” I’m not sure if I want to hear his answer.
“Lib—” He pauses. “—the truth is, I knocked your mom up before I went to boot camp. I didn’t even know you existed until you were three months old, so I did the right thing.
We learned how to love each other.” Running his palm over his face, he lets out a sigh.
“She sure adored you kids though. Made her happy.”
The world I knew slips sideways.
No wonder he wants to sell the farm. I bet he feels like he was forced into it all, and being a husband and a father.
Fuck.
Cold tendrils wrap my spine. But it almost makes me more sure that what I’m doing is the best decision.
He’ll have his way out .
“What would you have done if I hadn’t come along?” I don’t know why I keep asking questions that might rip me in two.
He lets out a soft chuckle. “Me and some of my Army buddies were fiddling with cars. I always wanted to get into the racing circuit.” The laugh shifts to a groan. “Instead I spent my time fixing tractors and limping farm trucks around.”
Part of my plan when I take over is to set up a maintenance schedule instead of always waiting for shit to break.
I think that’s half the reason why Dad struggled. He’d put everything off until it was an emergency and then it would cost ten times as much to fix.
Now I get it though. He hates it.
Damn. And I represent it all. Does he look at me and wish I wasn’t here?
My chest hurts.
I don’t want to ask. I can’t bear any more truth.
“Just pull in front. You don’t need to go in with me.” He points to the main entrance with its double bay doors.
The last thing I want to do is spend any more time with him. This entire conversation has only made me nauseous. “Are you sure?”
He nods. “I’ll text you when I’m ready.”
My truck rocks when he slams it shut, much like my entire belief system .
There’s one thread that I can pull out of all of this though.
Blue knows exactly who I am. What I do. He’s seen the good and the bad of the numbers for the dairy.
I’m not tricking him, bribing him, or trying to pretend I’m something I’m not.
He didn’t have to offer to buy the buildings.
But he did.
Does that mean he loves me?
Do I feel the same?
I snort so hard a booger almost comes out of my nose.
Shit, I think I fell for him on my birthday. He was hot as hell up there singing on stage, but when he jumped off to keep that guy from hitting on me, I knew I wanted him.
And I might have been drunk, but I remember his soft kiss that night in his truck.
When I pull into the yard, he already has the trailer hooked up.
The smile on his face tells me everything I need to know.
Yep. He feels it too.
“Ready to bring your girls home, baby?” He holds open the passenger side so I can climb directly in.
But I stop, wrapping my arms around his waist and hug him tightly. He’s doing all of this for me, and not because he’s forced to.
“Well, thank you? I missed you too?” His palms run over my back as I squeeze him .
When I don’t let go, he stills his touch, then cups my neck. “Lib? What happened?” His voice drops to a tone of concern. “What did your dad say?” he asks quietly.
It’s like he already knows.
“Did he ever tell you he didn’t want this life? That he felt trapped because of me?” I take a shuddering breath.
Truth hurts worse than the fantasy I had made myself believe. I always thought that Dad was just tired. That it was the day to day drudgery that got to him. Not that he never wanted to be here from the beginning.
Blue’s chest expands with a long inhale.
“Your dad has always been a ‘one day’ kinda guy. That if he got A or B done, that life would be easier. But he keeps going down the list, or tries to skip stuff, hoping that something will change.” His fingers weave into my hair as he presses my ear to his heart.
“It took me a while to realize that there’s a better way to look at that list. It’s not about what’s on it, but who you share it with.
And that it’s not checking something off, but always wanting to add more. ”
His thumb works a slow circle on my jaw, holding me just as fiercely as I’m holding him.
“You know I have a long one?” I tilt away and raise my palms so they’re facing each other. “Like, Ron Jeremy long.” I smirk, glancing between my hands and wag my eyebrows.
His laughter shakes us both. “I’m not sure if I should be turned on or worried that you know who that is.” He turns me and helps me into his truck with a firm pat on the ass.
Then he grabs my shirt and pulls me close enough that he can crash his lips into mine.
Heat flutters through me as his touch softens to stroke my breast through the fabric. An errant brush over my nipple sends a zinging shock directly to my belly.
“Do you think you’d ever feel trapped with me? I mean, I did kinda manipulate you into ticking off some boxes.” I squint one eye at him, watching his reaction.
His mustache lifts in a lopsided smile. “Baby, the only way I’d feel trapped is if you have handcuffs on that list. And I’m guessing I’ll have a safeword?” He winks before shutting my door.
Huh. Well, now it’s on there.