Chapter 21 - Kai
Kai
Ican’t fucking deal with the level of bullshit my alphas had reached.
It wasn’t a case of “sorry, we were wrong, let’s kiss and make up.” It was a fucking orgy of hypocrisy that I was totally a part of. And I fucking hated it.
Because we were fucking lying every time we looked at Brandy, and not one of us was going to admit we were pretending everything was fine just for her.
It didn’t matter how much I raged and screamed at Sin about what he did to us, how he left us, how he still refused to bite her. I won’t forgive him, no matter how fun and cute I acted when all four of us were fucking.
And he even had the audacity to suggest going to the Selection Ceremony after all that shit.
Brandy’s aura finally cleared yesterday as the pull of Caspian’s bite faded, and she spent one whole entire hour away from him without having a mental breakdown. Well, at least over Caspian.
Because I helped her into a bath, her body bruised and aching after fucking Caspian for days, and she just curled in on herself and sobbed until she had no tears left.
And it was all their fault.
If I could lock her in my nest again, I would, but the whole place reeked of caramel and vanilla, and I couldn’t stand it.
I tried to support her as Caspian poured all his grief onto her and used her as his emotional punching bag.
He drained her all week and didn’t give her space to breathe.
An alpha bite always took priority over an omega’s, so I couldn’t block him or stop him.
She became his foundation while she was dealing with her own shit, and Sin watched it all play out in front of us and didn’t make a move.
Now that Caspian was free of the haze of the bite and the aftereffects of his rogue state, what he had done to his bitch of a mum was finally sinking in. And the silence that emanated from him was the worst.
We couldn’t fuck our way out of this one.
Brandy and Cas could sense how broken Sin and I had been as we waited for them to get it out of their systems. All so we could all pile on Sin and tell him to bite Brandy.
I could see it in his eyes. I knew Sin was going to ask Brandy for permission, and she was going to say yes without thinking about it because she was a brand new omega and she didn’t get what it meant when Sin kept refusing to bite her.
It meant that Sin didn’t deserve to touch an inch of her gorgeous skin.
She was tucked up under the covers in her own bedroom directly under my loft. It wasn’t her nest, but I just needed her in a fresh room that didn’t stink of them.
I was perched on the side of the bed, my legs hanging over the edge, my palm pressed into the mattress as I leaned over her and swept her hair away from her eyes.
I just needed her. That was it. The omega who came to me when I felt abandoned, the person who chose me over everyone else. Not our fucking alphas, who couldn’t even step up for the simplest fucking things.
“Go the fuck away,” I growled as the door creaked behind me. “Brandy’s sleeping.”
“Which is the perfect time for me to visit,” Sin said, his stupid buffed Oxford browns clicking on the wooden floor as he walked over.
I should have kept my pins in instead of letting my hair hang loose because Brandy liked running her fingers through it.
I’d been keeping my anger in check around my alphas.
It was easy when Brandy was awake, but as soon as she drifted off, the rage came back, even worse than Cas’s.
Even when Brandy’s nose twitched and she shifted her head, it was enough to help me swallow it.
It pissed me off that her shoulders relaxed as vanilla brushed the room.
As if Sin was all she needed, even though he had treated her worse than Caspian, who mauled her nonstop for a week.
“You know the best time to visit?” I asked coldly as I turned to look at him.
“Fucking never.” He looked so proper in his butler suit and his smooth white hair, and purple eyes.
I used to love how prim he looked, and it made me proud to be with a guy who could verbally slash through anyone who got in his way.
But it didn’t matter that he was fucking dripping with need to hold Brandy, I wasn’t letting him close.
Even with how much love he was sending her and how he wrung his hands in front of him as nerves bounced around his body, I couldn’t let him touch her.
“You’re not her alpha,” I hissed. “Caspian is barely her alpha. If you gave even a sliver of a shit about us, you wouldn’t have left her there to fucking die.
” I ended with a snarl, but I gasped as fear gutted me.
No matter how many people I had to hurt to get to where I was with any business, I’d never felt like that in my whole life.
I never thought I’d have to hold my mate in my arms as she faded away from me, all because of my fucking alphas.
“I needed Melanie to know that she was making the right choice. I slept with her without telling her what was happening to us, and I hurt her too many times to count. I didn’t want to force her into a situation where I had taken something else away from her.”
We had had this conversation so many times in the past week, but it just would go through Sin’s thick fucking head. He didn’t understand; he didn’t get it.
“Are you really so dead inside that you didn’t feel anything when you saw her there like that? You left us, Sin. You abandoned us.”
“I trusted you could make it through. And that Caspian would pull himself out of his rogue state for you both.”
“You didn’t trust shit!” I snarled. I was shaking, and I had to whip my hand away from Brandy in case I dug too hard into her skin. I screamed and raged at Sin since we murdered Zania, and he kept looking at me like he always did. A blank stare that meant nothing.
“I don’t give a fuck about your shitty regret.
If Brandy wakes up now, she’s not going to feel a thing from you.
A tiny glimmer, maybe, but I won’t let you bond with her.
I’ll block you from her until she can’t even remember what you feel like.
” I wasn’t that good at keeping them away, but I’d had a ton of practice in the past week.
“You cannot keep her from me forever. And I hope she won’t let you either. I want to be with her as well, no matter what I’ve done to her. I love her as much as I love you, and I’m here to protect you both, no matter what you believe.”
“Why the hell do you think I’m going to buy those excuses? Get the fuck out, Sin.”
“I won’t leave until I’ve had space to talk to her. And I intend to wait until she wakes up.”
“So you could get all the credit for watching over her? Not a chance.”
“I haven’t had a moment alone with her since Caspian bit her, and I want to talk to her about what’s happened so far. I won’t pretend I’ve made a mistake, but hiding her away will do nothing for us as a pack.”
I wanted to yell at him again, because we weren’t a pack. Not anymore. Calling us a pack was a joke.
“You talk to her when she’s ready to talk to you.”
“After you’ve twisted her mind by filling it with your own thoughts and opinions?” he bit back.
I snarled as I tried to control myself. My instincts were telling me to leap for him, tear at his neck, gouge his fucking eyes out.
I wish I wasn’t back in the place where I couldn’t stand to look at my own alpha because it hurt so fucking much.
I thought that would end once Camille was out of the picture.
“Shut. Up. Right now. You think Brandy can’t think for herself?”
“I think that she’s an omega who is so greatly affected not only by Caspian’s bite, but by everything we’ve put her through. And she needs space before she decides whether to welcome me as her alpha or not.”
“Are you fucking stupid?” I shouted. “She already has me and Caspian. There’s no thinking or considering. Our pack bond is going to fucking crack if you don’t bite her soon.”
Sin sighed as his head dipped, and more pain surged from him.
It was so strong that it cut through me, and I had to bite my lip to stop myself from whining.
The agony that weighed on him shook me up, but I wasn’t falling for it.
I wasn’t letting this go just because I wanted to escape from the pain.
“She either cleaves from Caspian or you bite her. What do you think she’d want if we asked her?”
Sin opened his mouth to reply, but I shot up a hand. “You know what? Forget it. I’m done, Sin. I’m done with your bullshit and with Caspian’s. Just leave us alone, and we’ll come out when we’re ready.”
He stared at me, his gaze boring deep into my flesh, feeding all his swirling pain into me, like that was going to make me change my mind.
And he turned around, clicking his way back to the door as I let out a bitter laugh.
“You’re not even going to fucking try, are you? Some alpha you are.”
He paused, his hand on the door. I hated how deeply it stung that he sighed as he looked at me.
“One day you might understand, Kai. I just hope it will be soon so we can stop this madness.”
And he just left, just like that. Exactly how Caspian abandoned me in the kitchen while Sin fucked Brandy, exactly like he did in the corridor as she lay slumped against the wall begging him to take her to Caspian.
Stone. Cold. Fucking lifeless.
I tried to remember why I loved him, but nothing was coming.
Turning back to Brandy, my hand hovered over her. I didn’t even know if I could touch her when I felt like the scum Zania and her pack always made me out to be.
She was still asleep even though I was waiting like a banshee, which just shows how much Cas drained her.
I’d been thinking about it all week, but I knew that I had to follow through with my plan. Since Brandy was free, I couldn’t put it off any longer. I thought I’d give our shitty alphas a chance, but it was my fault for having expectations.
If I didn’t do it soon, I might fall through the cracks, where I’d be left standing at the sidelines as they used the bond to influence her and forced her to abandon me.
The rage burning inside me was so powerful that it settled into a calm, where I stroked her hair again, murmuring to her, promising her I’d always keep her safe, especially from the three of us.