19. I’m Not Ready
19
Hadley
My nerves are flying through loop after loop on a speeding roller coaster, leaving me elated and breathless. Being in Foster’s arms like this is a dream come true, but panic laces through me every few seconds, wondering what this whole romantic scene is leading up to.
Anticipation and dread cycle through me in rapid succession, both emotions tinged with embarrassment because there’s no way Foster can’t feel the way my breath keeps hitching as my heart pounds against my ribs. He’s holding me so close, he can probably feel its staccato rhythm against his own chest.
His fingers flex against my back, digging in to massage away some of the tension in the muscles there. It feels divine, and I find myself relaxing against him the tiniest bit. Finding the smallest bit of bravery, I lean further into him and rest my cheek against his chest.
I feel Foster’s heart give a little irregular thump-thump against my cheek before it settles back into a steady rhythm. Knowing I have even the slightest effect on him like that, I smile against his chest.
The song slows, signaling the end is near, and I mentally prepare myself for the dance to end, as well. I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want him to let me go.
I swallow thickly as the last beats of the song fade away, but Foster doesn’t release me. His fingers trace up and down my spine as the hand still holding mine pulls it in against his chest. Another slow song begins, and a thrill races through me as I realize this dance isn’t ending. Not yet.
And that Foster McKenna must’ve taken the time to burn a CD with a list of slow songs because my ancient stereo doesn’t have streaming capabilities. It doesn’t work with an aux cord or feature a USB drive.
He made me an honest to God mix tape.
“Hadley.”
I lift my head away from his chest at the sound of my name, a soft, strangled plea that has my heart pounding as I meet his dark, soulful gaze. We stare at each other silently for a few beats before his head lowers in slow, erratic increments.
He’s going to kiss me, and he’s giving me opportunity upon opportunity to stop him. And he’s lost his damn mind if he thinks I’m going to prevent the one thing I’ve ached for since the first time we met.
All thoughts desert me as his lips brush against mine. Once. Twice. Three times. Soft as butterfly wings, yet packing the punch of a freight train.
My palm slides up from his waist until my fingers curl around the back of his neck. The hand still holding mine lifts that one, guiding it to join the first. I hold onto him for dear life as his tongue teases my lips apart and dips inside to taste me.
My entire body flashes hot, making me melt into Foster. His arms tighten around me, bracketing me against him as if he knows I’ve lost the ability to stand on my own two legs. They’re weak and gelatinous in a way I always imagined was the stuff of fairy tales and romance novels.
My heart feels like it might beat right out of my chest as his tongue brushes against mine, teasing it out and into his mouth. I’ve been kissed before, but never like this. It’s never been this…erotic.
A pulse pounds in my core, and as if he’s sensed it, Foster grips my hips and lifts me up. He barely waits for my legs to curl around his waist before he moves, backing toward the couch. He reaches back with one hand to unhook my ankles before he sits. I end up straddling his lap, and I gasp as my most sensitive bits notch against the ridge of his erection.
And there’s not much of a barrier with nothing but my underwear and his slacks between us.
I go still, wanting to soak in every millisecond of the experience, and Foster stops kissing me to pull back and meet my gaze.
Giving me a sweet smile that’s at odds with the heat in his eyes, he slides his hand up my back to release my hair from the pins holding it in place. Tangling his fingers in the long tresses, he massages my scalp with his fingertips.
“Relax, Hadley. We’re not having sex tonight.”
My chest hollows out as yet another rejection stabs me through the heart. The feeling vanishes when his free hand slides over my ass and squeezes it.
“We’re not?” I breathe on a shuddering exhale.
He shakes his head. “No.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“I’m not ready for that, yet.”
“You’re not ready,” I say, the words tinged with disbelief.
“Nope,” he says, his grin growing wider.
His smile is infectious, and I find myself mirroring it despite my disappointment. He knows better than to try to tell me what I am and am not ready for after our last fight, but he’s treating me with kid gloves like I might break if we go too fast.
But honestly? What we are doing feels way too incredible for me to even be mad about his unilateral decision. And who knows? Maybe he’ll lose control and throw his misguided principles out the window.
With that thought quickly morphing into a hopeful goal, I tilt my hips to increase the pressure of his cock against my center. Electricity zips through me, and I gasp. A groan vibrates in Foster’s chest, and his eyes fall closed for a beat before he snaps them open to pin me with his liquid blue gaze.
“You say when to stop, okay? I want everything we do together to feel good, but if it gets to be too much, just say the word, and it ends. No questions. No recriminations. Deal?”
I nod vigorously. “Deal.”
His hand tightens in my hair as it pulls me toward him and seals his mouth over mine. He nips at my lips, sucking the bottom one in to bite it gently before soothing his tongue across it. My mouth falls open, and his tongue swoops in, making my brain go a little haywire as it tries to process all the sensations. Heat rockets through my core, and I buck against him, swallowing his answering moan.
His hand releases my hair and glides down my back to my ass. The other hand joins it there, and he kneads the flesh as he kisses a hot trail from my mouth to my ear.
“You’re so fucking sexy, Hadley West. And this ass,” he says punctuating the last two words with a tight squeeze. “I can’t wait to take a bite.”
The deep, lustful timbre of his voice sends a shiver through me. His groping hands are so big and strong and firm on my ass…I want to feel them everywhere. His lips and tongue blaze a path down my neck, and I tilt my head back to give him better access.
I’m a chaotic storm of desperation and demand, silent pleas for more dripping from my lips as Foster’s palms slide beneath my skirt to grip the bare cheeks of my ass. He groans against my neck as his fingers explore, finding and slipping beneath the edges of my Brazilian-cut panties.
His grip tightens, then spreads the cheeks apart while pushing me down until the ridge of his cock nestles in the cleft. I gasp as pleasure rockets through me. But this is just the beginning.
With strong, surgical precision, Foster angles my hips and rocks me against him, making his erection nudge against my clit with every forward motion.
“That’s it, beautiful. Take what you want. Take what you need.”
The words fall from his lips on a soft cadence, the harsh breaths between each one confirming that what we’re doing is driving him as mad as it is me. I take over the rhythm, moving my hips faster and bucking against him with more force. The precision is gone, replaced by wild abandon as my gasps fill the air around us.
Foster’s hands disappear from my ass, and before I can lament the loss, they close over my breasts. Squeezing them gently, he grinds his palms over my sensitive nipples, making me wish my dress and bra weren’t there to muffle the friction and heat. As if he’s read my thoughts, the fingers of one hand slip beneath the edge of the fabric, jerking the material downward.
I only have a moment to recognize the cool air making my nipple pucker before intense heat replaces it. I shout and buck harder as Foster’s tongue swirls around the sensitive bud, and the cacophony of sensations brings me right to edge of ecstasy. My legs tingle as fire shoots from my breast to my core on an invisible string.
Then his mouth closes over my breast, and he sucks, hard. I scream as my orgasm rockets through me, so strong that moisture floods from my core, soaking us both.
Oh, God. No.
I didn’t really just gush all over the man, did I?
“Oh, Jesus.”
Foster’s words send my mortification spiraling through the cosmos, and I try to climb off him while refusing to meet his gaze. One hand pulls up my dress to cover my bare breast while the other squeezes my hip, holding me in place.
“Hey. What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice coarse and husky.
I shake my head, and when I refuse to look at him, he cups my chin and tilts my head up so he can see my eyes. And so I can see his.
They’re so dilated, his dark blue irises are nearly swallowed by his pupils. His mouth is open as ragged breaths burst through his lips. His hips buck shallowly, rubbing his large erection against me through our soaked clothes. He growls quietly, then closes his mouth, his Adam’s apple bobbing erratically as he swallows.
“Was it too much?” he asks, his liquid gaze filling with worry. “Did I go too far?”
“Y-you?” I stutter, my mouth opening and closing like a fish. I shake my head to clear it. “I’m…I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?” he asks, looking truly perplexed.
My eyes fall closed as I steel my spine. When I reopen them, Foster’s looking at me like he has no idea what could possibly be bothering me.
“I made a mess,” I whisper, the words barely audible to even my own ears.
I see the moment understanding dawns, and my face feels like it might burst into flames. Foster’s mouth lifts into a tender, sexy smile, and his hands find my hips, holding me still while he grinds into me from below. I gasp, and he leans forward to kiss me until I can’t think straight.
Pulling back, he pins me with a heated stare. “That mess, as you call it, was the hottest fucking thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s now my number one goal in life to make you come that hard every time I touch you. To make you gush all over my fingers, my mouth, and eventually, when we’re both ready, my cock while it’s buried deep inside you. Never apologize for giving me pleasure, Hadley, because I sure as hell won’t be sorry.”
“Giving you pleasure?” I ask, his candid speech shocking the embarrassment right out of me.
He nods. “Yes. Giving me pleasure. That was almost as good for me as it was for you.”
“Unlikely,” I breathe, and his smile grows so wide, it’s almost blinding to behold.
He presses his mouth to mine in a quick kiss, then gives me a playful slap on the ass. “Thank you for a wonderful date. I hope we can do it again very soon.”
He helps me up, and I can’t help but glance down at his lap. His cock strains against the very large, very wet spot over his zipper, and I feel my face heating again. Foster stands with a chuckle, then pulls me in for a hug.
“Have I told you how gorgeous you are when you blush?” he whispers into my hair.
I bury my face in his chest and hug him back without answering. We hold each other for a long moment, then I slowly, regretfully pull out of his arms. He cups my cheeks and pecks a kiss on my nose before moving down to press a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.
“Good night, beautiful,” he says in a deep, husky tone.
“Good night,” I reply, then turn around and walk away from him.
I can feel his gaze on me as I head for the stairs, but I don’t look back. My lips curve up into a wide smile as I climb the steps and head for my bedroom.
That was amazing.
Foster McKenna is amazing.