Chapter 2 Grace
GRACE
“I’m so happy for you all.” I give my sister and her two fiancés a hug.
We are celebrating their engagement before Mum and Dad must head home to Kiribati to finish off Dad’s time as ambassador.
It’s been nice having them and my entire family here since this nightmare happened.
I’ve needed them. Whereas Zoe, she has her gorgeous fiancés to help her through the nightmares.
To be fair though, she was coping with this nightmare before she was kidnapped a second time.
I don’t know if this time is worse or not as Zoe doesn’t speak of it much with me, but it doesn’t matter, she sacrificed herself for me.
She was willing to dance with the devil until the end of time to save me.
That’s a lot of responsibility to deal with.
That you’re the reason she went through more trauma.
My therapist is helping me through these issues, issues that I keep to myself.
I’m not going to spoil this incredible life Zoe has created for herself in Spain.
She deserves all the happiness in the world.
Whereas I … I don’t know what I deserve.
All I know is I wouldn’t be functioning if it weren’t for my magic pills called Xanax. They make everything better.
“Thank you, I’m so happy.” Zoe smiles, then her voice lowers to a whisper. “How are you doing?”
Today is her day, so she doesn’t need to know that I’m not coping, that I wish I had died instead of having to relive the things Dmitri and those men did to me.
She doesn’t need to know that I need these white pills the therapist gives me to just get through the day.
Or that I’m supplementing my ‘official’ supply with the help of a local dealer—not that I know what it is he’s selling me.
I put on a good front, smile, laugh, and talk it out with professionals, and yet, still I can’t escape the images of Dmitri as I sleep.
Brooks, one of the Mercenaries who saved Zoe in Morocco, and his security crew have been teaching us self-defense, commando style: how to kill a man with your bare hands.
How to disarm a man with a knife or a gun.
Survival skills, negotiating skills. Every day we’re at the gym getting stronger because Dmitri is still out there, and I know he will be seeking revenge for us killing his cousin.
And yet I still can’t function without medicated help.
It’s my dirty little secret, one I’m ashamed of, but I need to get through this for the interim, and then I’ll be okay.
I’m not as strong as Zoe, I’m not as street-wise as Sophie, and I’m not as smart as Mackenzie.
All my sisters are extraordinary and it’s hard to live in their shadows.
I’ve given up my work in The Hague. I love the law, but after seeing how easily the law is flouted, I’ve lost my faith in it.
The law should have been able to protect the women kidnapped and sold into sex slavery.
The law should be able to put these terrible men in jail for their crimes, yet all they have to do is pay off the right people, and they’re out again to continue destroying people’s lives.
“I’m doing fine,” I tell Zoe, plastering on the fake smile that seems permanently stuck to my face.
“Well, you know I’m here for you, that I understand.”
I can see that understanding on her face, and I hate it. I feel ashamed, I feel dirty and tainted. I look at her, happy with the two men she loves, and I know that will never happen for me. There is no happily ever after for me.
“Grace.” Gabriel, one of our security guards, grabs my attention. “There’s a delivery for you.” Our code for my pills.
“Delivery?” Zoe questions me.
“I’ve been shopping online again,” I joke with my sister, hoping to ease her fears for me.
“Guess there are worse things in the world you could be addicted to.” Zoe chuckles.
She has no idea how right she is. I can stop at any time, but I don’t want to. My mind needs a break from the atrocities it’s seen, and these magic pills give it one.
I hug my sister and follow Gabriel. I busted him smoking pot in the estate’s gardens during his break.
I told him I wouldn’t tell if he could get me some extra pills.
He wasn’t sure at first, but I was able to persuade him, it’s our little secret.
We walk past the marquee set up for the engagement party in the backyard and through the makeshift kitchen to the driveway where the white van is waiting.
I take a couple of steps toward it, my mind already focused on the pills.
Hugo, my dealer, looks nervous, his eyes flitting around as I walk past him. I give him a reassuring smile, but he ignores it. His friend Donny will be in the back with the goods. The doors swing open, and I see Donny slumped on a makeshift bed in the van.
“Donny!” I call. He hasn’t OD, has he?
Gabriel jumps into the van, and I follow. He tries to shake Donny awake, and then the doors slam shut, and the van starts moving.
“Hugo, Hugo!” I scream, but he ignores me.
I can see him through the glass divider, the sweat dripping from his face, then I pause. My heart accelerates, my stomach turns into knots, and I sway as my already fragile mind computes what it’s seeing. A gun is pointed at Hugo’s head.
Gabriel notices it as well and pulls his weapon out.
“I wouldn’t do that,” a deep voice warns. “Have a look under the guy’s shirt.”
Gabriel lifts Donny’s shirt and we see wires coming from his chest.
No, no, no, no. We’re going to die.
“Put your gun away, and I won’t detonate him. But if you choose to be a hero then you will all be dust,” the man says in his thick Russian accent.
This must be one of Dmitri’s men.
Think, Grace, think. My mind is fuzzy, it’s waiting for its next hit.
Instead, I crouch in the corner and shake my head.
This can’t be happening to me again. My mind begins to melt down as the rickety scaffolding holding it together starts to crumble, and my entire world starts to crash around me.
Kill me now. Press the fucking button, you asshole, because I can’t cope seeing Dmitri again.
“It’s going to be okay. I’m going to get you out of this, okay?” Gabriel says confidently. He takes his phone from his pocket to send a text. He presses the button and frowns, presses it again, then starts hitting the phone.
“Jammed the signal. Nice try though.” The kidnapper laughs.
Gabriel throws his phone against the van in frustration, smashing it to pieces.
“I think there’s only one, maybe two of them. I can take them on,” Gabriel whispers to me.
I nod, my mind shutting down, my anxiety and PTSD returning. I just need a pill to get me to the next step. Jumping up, I frantically begin searching the van for my pills. They must have them with them it’s the reason they were coming. No, the reason was they were kidnapping you, Grace.
“Grace, you need to focus,” Gabriel hisses at me. “Forget the pills.”
I look at him as the tears fall down my cheeks. “I need one, just one to help me through. Please.”
He shakes his head. “I should never have helped you. You needed to be alert in case they came back here. And now they have I need you to fight Grace, please.”
“I can’t. You don’t understand.” I’m not Zoe.
Gabriel grabs my arms and shakes me. “Wake the fuck up, Grace. We are in serious trouble. This is not how I’m going to fucking die,” he curses at me.
“I’ll try, but—”
“Good. We need a plan. They’re either taking us to the airport or to the port.”
I nod, listening to Gabriel rabbit on about his theories. In all honesty, I’m not listening at all, my brain is slowing down. The images of what happened last time begin to slip through my defenses and assault my mind. I can’t go through this again. I can’t go back to Dmitri.
Gabriel is still speaking when I tune back in. “When the van stops, I need you to take cover. I’ll start shooting when they open the doors.”
I shrug.
“Grace, do you understand?” Gabriel asks angrily.
“Yes.”
“You need to hide in the bed, okay? Get in now.” He pulls the covers off and I slip in, then he piles the cushions all around me.
I close my eyes and pray this nightmare will end quickly, and I can go home to my family. I send a prayer up to the Gods. If by some chance Gabriel can pull this off, I promise I will get myself cleaned up.
We haven’t been traveling for long when I feel the van slowing down.
“Get ready, Grace. Stay hidden.”
I pull the covers over my head even tighter, hoping it will magically make me disappear from this nightmare.
I can hear feet crunching against stones.
My heart’s racing so fast I’m probably having a heart attack.
Please let me survive, please. The doors creak open, and my dark little bubble lightens, the daylight must be filtering through.
Then Gabriel starts screaming.
I squeeze my eyes closed as the van shakes.
Arms grab me from my cushion fortress.
Gabriel’s slurred screams as I’m hauled out of the van hit my ears.
Instinct kicks in and fuzzy scenes from Brooks’s training kick in and I kick and punch and do what I can against strong arms.
“Easy there, Wildcat. You don’t want to hurt yourself.” The man laughs.
As I’m trashing about in his arms, I look back into the van and see Gabriel convulsing from a Taser. The electrodes sticking out of his back, his body crumpled on the van’s floor. His eyes are wide as he helplessly watches me get dragged away. At least he’s not dead, yet.
Fight, Gracie, Fight. Zoe’s words filter through my fuzziness.
And I do. “Let go of me!” I scream, hoping someone walking around will hear my screams and see a man kidnapping a girl.
“Nice try, sweetheart. But no one can hear you.” The deep voice chuckles.