Chapter 29 Nash #2
“Then what was it? I was thoroughly enjoying what we were doing. I like it when you get naughty.” She grins.
This woman has my chest tightening and I hate myself for it.
Those sea foam green eyes narrow and I know she is seconds away from getting inside my head and working it out.
She runs her hand over my head and scratches it a couple of times with her nails, a groan falls from my lips as goosebumps cross my flesh. That feels so good.
“Nothing, it doesn’t matter,” I tell her.
“Oh, I think it does. You stopped licking me just when things were getting good.”
“I got in my own head, okay,” I spit out angrily, more at myself than her as she continues to scratch my head.
“About this?” she asks. I nod. Not daring to say a word. “Are you wondering if we will continue doing what we are doing if you come back to Ibiza?” I knew she could read my mind. “I don’t know what the future holds, Nash, but I’m not done with you yet and I hope you aren’t with me.”
“Far from it,” I answer.
She smiles. “Good. Now will you fuck me and put me out of my misery.”
We’ve spent most of the day in bed exploring every inch of each other.
How have I become addicted to this woman so quickly?
I love her sass, she keeps me on my toes.
Maybe I’ve had too many knocks to the head to be liking the combativeness of what we have, I’m addicted to the push and pull.
I’m also addicted to fucking her and caressing her with my knife.
Never in my life would I have ever thought holding a knife to a woman’s throat would get me hard or her wet.
It’s fucked up. There has to be something broken inside me to like this, and this woman seems to call to the darkness in me.
And I like it. Elena seems to like exploring with me as if she feels safe for the first time in bed with someone to let her control go.
It’s still there, but I can see she is relenting to me.
She doesn’t fight back when I push her arms above her head and hold her by the wrists where she is unable to break free as I slide my dick inside her.
I may be physically stronger than her, but I know she could erase my existence in two seconds if she wants to, and honestly, that is fucking hot. See, I’m messed up.
“You’re awfully quiet.” She smirks, looking up at me as we laze on the sofa after I cooked her a delicious meal of steak on the outside grill and salad.
“You’ve worn me out.” I chuckle as I place a kiss on her forehead.
“I’m sorry, old man,” she teases.
“I fucked you within an inch of your life, woman, you know there is nothing old about me.”
This makes her giggle. “You did. And I can feel you stirring again.” She grins as her hand slides between us and over my cock. How can I not when she is wrapped around me?
“Can I ask you something?”
Her hand stills on me. “Sure, anything.”
“Can I ask you about the guy you were seeing who thinks you’re dead?” Morbid curiosity gets the better of me as she doesn’t talk about him much.
“Oh,” she says, removing her hand from my cock. “I don’t still love him if that is what you’re worried about.”
I shake my head. “I’m not. I just want to know who I am protecting you from. It’s always best to know your enemy.”
Elena stares at me in surprise. “You want to protect me from Dimitri?”
Reaching out, I cup her face. “Yes and everything else that wishes to harm you.”
“I can look after myself …” she starts to say but I stop her words with a kiss.
“I know you can, kitty, probably a hell of a lot more than I can, but you need to know I’ll always have your back.”
“I’m not used to relying on people.”
“I know.” Leaning forward, I kiss her again. “I won’t ever double-cross you. I don’t know how you sneaked past my defenses, but you have.”
“You seem to have obliterated mine. You make me feel safe, something I’ve never had before.
I don’t know what is going to happen between the two of us, especially once we grab Pearl and hightail it back to Ibiza.
What I do know is you’ve brought back some of my humanity.
” A single tear falls from her cheek, and I rub it away.
“See, you’re making my eyes leak, and I never do that.
” She chuckles before snuggling herself back into my arms, and I feel her body relax against me as she lets out a deep sigh.
“With hindsight, what I had with Dmitri wasn’t love, it wasn’t anything.
But I guess I was so desperate in this world to feel something other than hate, disgust, and hopelessness that I fell into bed with the devil.
” I let my hands rub up and down her arms, reassuring her that I’m here.
“His uncle introduced us and explained to him that I was their secret weapon in to getting favors for them. We started off working together, he and his cousin Nikolai. And when my services weren’t needed, I used to hang around with the two of them.
We became friends as much as you can in this business.
I never saw their monstrous side, and that should have been my warning, those two devils were well disguised.
But over time, things between Dmitri and I turned from friendly to flirty.
I pushed him away a lot because of what I did, who would want to date a whore?
” I feel her body stiffen, and I pepper feather-light kisses on her skin reassuring her that is not how I see her.
“Before anything could happen between us, I was sent away by his uncle for a couple of months to work at a different branch of the Bratva. We stayed in touch on the phone and talked all the time, and the next time I saw him, that was it. We couldn’t hide how we were feeling about each other and fell into bed together.
It was the first moment I had been happy since being kidnapped, and I guess when you’ve been starved of happiness for so long and someone gives it to you, you don’t want to ever let it go.
What I didn’t realize was he got me hook, line, and sinker, and I was now his plaything.
He had his own weapon to do his dirty work for him, and stupidly, I fell for it because when everything was over, he would soothe my aches.
He would reassure me that he loved me, that he never saw the monster that I was, and in return, I never saw the monster he was.
Stupidly, in my mind I thought we were two lost souls, dealt a shitty hand in life, trying to make the best of a fucked-up situation.
I was wrong. All Dmitri ever wanted was power, more power, and being able to control me was his way of getting more especially after the death of his cousin, Nikolai.
Which I’ve only recently found out was because of Zoe.
Nikolai was obsessed with her, but I had no idea who she truly was.
I didn’t know that both Nikolai and Dmitri were dating Zoe and Grace as if they were normal members of society until recently.
I thought they were like me, mainly because that is what they both told me.
I was also kept away from the jewels a lot of the time, but Dmitri told me it was so it wouldn’t interfere with everyone’s orders.
I consider myself an intelligent person but when it came to Dmitri, I wasn’t,” she explains.
“You are a young woman thrust into an underground world. You were trying to survive. You never had a choice it was either kill or be killed,” I tell her.
“I could have opened my eyes and seen the real horror these men were doing to women. How can I ever forgive myself for not helping these women? I protected those fucking men at the expense of them,” Elena says as she sobs into my chest. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tightly.
“Please don’t blame yourself. How could you know the people who you thought you knew were monsters?”
“Everyone around me was a monster.” She sniffles. “I let my heart rule my head.”
“I get it, truly I do. I nearly got my entire team killed because I fell for the enemy. The woman I thought I was saving had set me up and lured me into her web so that she could destroy me. I never thought it would happen to me,” I tell her.
“We’re messed up, aren’t we?” She turns and looks up at me.
“Yeah, kitty, we are.” Elena leans forward and kisses me slowly, I let my fingers dig into her hair.
“This isn’t fake what’s happening between us. I need you to know that. You weren’t supposed to happen,” she tells me.
“I’m not using you for power either, kitty. In all honesty, I hate sharing you. You’re mine. And I protect what is mine.”
“If we can pull off saving Pearl, I’ll be yours and only yours for however long you want me,” she confesses.
Her words surprise me. “I think I can handle that, can you?”
Her face lights up. “Yeah, I think I can handle you.” Her legs slide over my thighs, and she wiggles herself until she is straddling me. “I don’t want to share you either. You’re mine too,” she declares, running her hands up over my bare chest. “I wish we could stay in this bubble forever.”
“We can once you save Pearl.”
“Promise?” she asks me, holding out her pinky to me.
“You want me to pinky promise you?” I stare at her finger.
“Yes.” She grins. Rolling my eyes, I pull out my hand and pinky promise this woman. Honestly, I would pinky promise anything she wants. “You’re stuck with me now. No takebacks.” She giggles and it’s the purest sound in the world.