7. Chapter Seven #2
I could almost feel his eyes narrow with suspicion through the phone. Maybe my ability to guess came down to the fact that I knew him so well.
“You’re okay?”
“Yes…no, I mean,” I exhaled, shaking my head. “I don’t know.”
“Tati,” he said softly but sternly. “What’s the matter?”
This is why you called him, you idiot. Talk to him.
“My mother reached out to me a few weeks ago.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Your mother?”
“Mmhmm.”
“What did she want?”
“To see me? Talk to me? Fuck me up even more? I have no idea, really. I hung up on her the second I realised it was her, and I’ve ignored all her calls ever since.”
“How did she get your number?”
“Don’t know, don’t care. I want nothing to do with her. My dad, though,” I shook my head, still frustrated by the whole thing. “He wants to give her a chance. Do you know why he went to Russia?”
“No, but I have a feeling it has something to do with her.”
“Yep.” I got to my feet, walking the length of the front porch and back.
“She called him and said she needed to see him. But she didn’t have a passport, so what did he do?
He hopped on the first flight he could get and went to her.
Despite everything she’s done, he’s still willing to forgive her.
I’m not entirely sure what she really wanted from him, from us.
Maybe she thought she’d have better luck getting him to convince me to talk to her if she could give him the crocodile tears in person.
Maybe she just wanted to fuck with him. See if she still had him on the hook.
I don’t know, and I don’t fucking care.”
He chuckled softly and it made me shiver. That deep, rumbly sound always excited me. It made my heart race.
“Right. It sounds like you don’t care.”
“I don’t,” I snapped, still pacing up and down.
He chuckled again, and I wanted to smile at him and strangle him at the same time.
“You want to know how I know you care, Tati? Because you babble when something matters to you. Your voice pitches higher and your words come out in a rush, like you’re trying to get the lies out as quickly as you can, so that maybe even you will believe them. ”
My mouth dropped open in outrage. “I do not do that.”
“Yes, you do, love.”
Butterflies bloomed in my stomach. I should tell him off for calling me that. I should tell him pet names like that weren’t appropriate for the barely platonic relationship we now had. But the truth of the matter was, I didn’t want him to stop. I fucking liked it.
The last time we’d spoken, I told him I wanted space from him.
That I didn’t want to see him or talk to him.
At that moment, I meant it. I meant every word.
I truly believed I wouldn’t be able to move on unless I distanced myself from him.
Until I tried to forget him and the pain that came every time I saw him.
But how was I supposed to forget about him, to move on, when he still made my heart race like a jackhammer every time I so much as thought about him? Every time I heard his voice?
“You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do, Nicky.”
“I know you better than anyone else in the world,” he fired back instantly, ignoring my attempt to get a rise out of him and shift the conversation.
I called him Nicky to piss him off, to distract him whenever I was feeling vulnerable.
He wasn’t falling for it this time, though.
“I know you hate the colour orange because you think it washes you out. I know you prefer Dean over Sam Winchester. That you can’t stand the smell of cinnamon but love cinnamon donuts, that Twinkies are your favourite sweets, and I know that you’ve been pacing up and down your front porch since the moment we got on the phone. ”
I came to an abrupt halt, frowning suspiciously. “How do you know I’ve been pacing?”
“Like I said, I know you.”
Uh-huh, right.
I glanced up at the security camera hanging up high on the outside of my house. “You’re watching me, aren’t you?”
He hesitated briefly before answering. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to see for myself that you were okay.”
Shaking my head, I raised my hand into the air, extending my middle finger and smiling wide.
I wasn’t overly surprised he’d hacked into our security system.
He’d done shit like that before; using cameras and shit to track where I was going, who I was seeing, what I was doing.
At first, I was outraged. I felt like it was a huge invasion of my privacy.
But now? I was honestly so used to it, it didn’t even bother me anymore.
It just rolled right off my shoulders. Nothing Nikolai did really surprised me anymore.
“Oh, Tati,” he breathed, a hint of excitement in his voice. “Have you forgotten already what happened the last time you did that to me?”
I sucked in a breath, the memory of that day smacking me in the face so hard that I felt lightheaded.
“Anybody ever told you you look exactly like Blake Lively, only hotter?”
I rolled my eyes. The Cosa Nostra man I was walking beside—Giovanni? No, Matteo? No. Ah, fuck. Whatever his name was didn’t matter—was laying it on so thick, there was no way anything was going to happen between us.
When I’d first seen him, clapping and cheering as we all screamed “surprise” for Arturo at his surprise thirtieth birthday party, I’d entertained the idea of hooking up with him.
He was my type to a tee: big, tall, a little gloomy. He reminded me of Nikolai. I think that was what I was attracted to, if I was being honest with myself.
We chatted a little bit, flirting with each other, and when he asked if I wanted to go somewhere for a little “privacy”, I was keen—emphasis on the was . When I was alone with him, I realised it wasn’t what I wanted. That I was using him to fill a void for someone else.
I hadn’t been physical with anyone else since Nikolai. Every time I’d tried, I couldn’t go through with it. I felt like I was being unfaithful, which was stupid. We weren’t together. Hadn’t been for a long time.
Enzo (again, not sure on the name) reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers as he brought us to a stop around the side of the house. The contact felt…wrong.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered, stepping closer. He pulled me towards him, bringing our bodies within inches of each other.
“I’ve been wondering if your lips feel as soft as they look.” He lowered his head, his mouth inching closer and closer to mine.
I placed my hands on his chest, pushing back. “Wait—”
“Tatiana!” A deep voice cut through the air, a voice I’d recognise anywhere.
I glanced over Eduardo’s shoulder, my eyes widening.
Oh, shit.
Nikolai charged towards us like a man on a mission, his hands squeezed into fists, muscles bulging. His jaw was clenched, a dark, primal anger radiating from him. I’d seen that look on his face before, right before he strangled someone to death for slapping my ass.
“Who’s that?” What’s-His-Face asked, frowning at the big, hulking man stomping our way, his body still dangerously close to mine.
I stepped away from him, my back hitting the brick wall behind me. “I’d run if I were you.”
He scoffed, looking offended. “Run? From him?” He hiked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m not scared of some two-bit thug whose arms are bigger than his brains—”
Nikolai grabbed a fistful of Elias' hair and smashed his face into the wall. The idiot I warned to run cried out in pain, the crack of his nose breaking echoing in the air.
I sighed as he crumbled to the ground, blood trailing down the wall. “I told you to run,” I said, staring down at him crying on the grass.
“Don’t fucking talk to him,” Nikolai growled, picking him up by the back of his shirt. He pulled out a knife and held it to his throat.
“Nikolai, don’t. You’ll just—”
He plunged the knife up Emilio’s chin, killing him without a moment’s hesitation.
“—cause problems,” I huffed out, shaking my head.
He’d just killed a Cosa Nostra soldier in the house of the guy’s Don. Things were already tense between them and us. This would just cause more problems when people found out.
“Goddamn it, Nicky. You need to get that jealous temper of yours under control.”
Nikolai picked up Emiliano’s lifeless body and threw him to the side like he was a piece of trash. Then he was right up against me, his body flush with mine.
I gasped at the feel of him, my mind going blank. He stared down at me, positively brimming with rage.
“Did he kiss those lips?” Nikolai whispered darkly, gripping my chin.
My heart slammed in my chest, my body on fire. It had been nearly two years since he touched me like this, and it felt just as amazing as it did the very first time.
“Answer me, love.” He leant closer, his voice skating over my skin. “Did you let him kiss you?”
“No,” I swallowed. I was incapable of resisting him when he was this close, when I could feel his body pressed against mine.
When I could breathe in the intoxicating scent of his cologne, mixed with his alluring natural scent.
It made it so easy to forget all the bad shit that's happened between us.
Nikolai’s mesmerising blue eyes trailed over my bare arms. “But you let him touch you, didn’t you?”
I rolled my eyes. “You seem to be forgetting one very important piece of information here, Nicky. It’s none of your business if he touched me, if he kissed me.
I can do whatever I want. Fuck whoever I want.
So, why don’t you take this right here”—I held up my middle finger—“and go fuck yourself?” I asked, smiling sweetly.
His gaze flicked to my hand and back to my face quickly. He moved with a deadly calm, wrapping his fingers around mine. The skin-to-skin contact was electrifying.
“Wha-what are you doing?” I shuddered as he slowly brought my hand down my body and between my legs. The way his hand was wrapped around mine prevented me from lowering my middle finger.