Chapter 23 #2
“I know what you mean,” I exhaled. “My mother was the same. She first brought it up when I was twenty-one, telling me to get started early and build a family.”
Drea laughed when I shuddered. “You don’t want kids?”
“Of course I do. I just didn’t want them then . Twenty-one is young to start. There was still so much I had to learn, so much I wanted to see before I even thought about bringing a child into the world.”
“Yeah, I hear that. But then, before you know it, you’re thirty-one years old and afraid you’re going to run out of time.”
I tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, studying her closely. “Speaking from experience?”
She shrugged idly. “Maybe. Up until a few years ago, I thought I was on the way towards children. My boyfriend—well, ex -boyfriend—and I had been together for a few years. We were living together. Everything was on the right track.”
“What happened?”
“The same thing that always happens,” she blew out, gripping my shoulders. “I walked in on him with another woman and all the hopes and dreams I’d had of building a life with him came crumbling down. I haven’t bothered trying since then. What’s the point?”
Ah. That explained her reaction to Mila then. “Not all men are like that.”
“Yes, I know. But the odds of finding a decent one, one who can handle the world I live in, are slim to none. Daniel was the son of a family friend. He knew about the cartel. I tried being with someone who wasn’t born into the life. Didn’t end well.”
Yes, normal people had a hard time adjusting to this life. It wasn’t impossible, but it was difficult.
Something she’d said earlier zinged through my mind and I studied her closely. “Did you say you don’t know how to ride a bike?”
Her face flushed. “Yeah. I just never had the opportunity to learn. We were dirt poor when I was a kid. Could barely afford food, let alone money to buy a bike. Once my dad got into the cartel, things changed. But by that point it was too late. I was too old. What fifteen-year-old doesn’t know how to ride a bike?
” she shook her head. “I always wanted to learn, but the older I got the more embarrassing it was, so I just forgot about it.” She shrugged her shoulders idly like she didn’t care, but I could tell she did. She still wanted to learn.
I filed that information away for later.
We spoke for hours. It amazed me how easy it was. I wasn’t the type of person who shared private thoughts, and yet I felt like there was nothing I couldn’t tell Drea. Nothing I couldn’t talk about.
She ended up falling asleep on my lap, her head resting on my chest. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to stay but I knew I couldn’t, as much as I wanted to. There was still all that shit with our buildings being burned down that I had to deal with.
I tightened my arms around her and got to my feet. I held her close as I made my way over to the bed and softly lowered her down. She stirred slightly, mumbling, “Juan, fetch me my cape,” before settling down.
It took every ounce of willpower I possessed not to laugh.
She was so adorable. I covered her with the blanket, taking a moment to just look at her, admire her.
I tucked her hair behind her ear and lightly traced the side of her face with my finger before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.
“Spi spokoyno, detka,” Sleep well, baby.
I frowned at how easily the endearment slipped from my lips. I knew I should probably be concerned with how attached I was becoming to her, but I couldn’t find the energy to actually care. When I was with her, I felt warm, light. I didn’t want to lose that. To lose her.
I left her room and headed downstairs. As I walked past the lounge room, I saw that the TV was on, someone sitting on the couch. I checked my watch. 11:30pm. Who was up at this time of the night?
As I got closer, I saw it was Dayton. One foot rested on the coffee table in front of him, his arm hung over his bent knee with the remote in his hand, flicking through different titles on Netflix.
“What are you doing up?” I asked, stopping beside the couch.
He turned to face me. “Can’t sleep.” His gaze flicked to the TV and back nervously. “Do you…do you want to watch something with me?”
I should have said no. I had so much shit to do, it was actually overwhelming to think about. But the look he was giving me right now made it impossible for me to do that. It was like he was silently begging me to join him, for someone to hang out with him.
I exhaled and took a seat in the chair next to the couch.
Dayton visibly perked up. “Cool.” Had no one ever watched a movie with him before? “What do you wanna watch? There are some cool shows on Netflix at the moment. Brooklyn-Nine-Nine , Black Mirror , Vikings Valhalla— ”
“Is there something called The 100 ?”
Dayton frowned slightly. “Yeah I think so. I’ve never seen it, but I’ve heard it’s good. Why do you want to watch that?”
“Someone told me I should check it out. Go on, put that on.”
Excitement visible on his face, Dayton searched until he found it and then put it on. I wasn’t sure why he was so excited to have someone sit and watch something with him. Until it started, then it became abundantly clear.
He was the type that liked to talk while the show played. He liked having someone there to bounce theories off and engage him while he watched. He’d ask questions I couldn’t possibly know the answers to, because I’d seen just as much as him. I knew just as much as he did about what was going on.
“Oh shit, who are they?”
“I don’t know, Dayton.”
“Do you think that bald dude is going to kill Octavia?”
“I don’t know, Dayton.”
“I feel like Clarke and Bellamy are gonna get it on. An enemies-to-lovers kinda thing. What do you think?”
It wasn’t until right there, at the moment, that I realised Dayton was lonely. He just wanted company. Someone to talk to.
It didn’t take long for both of us to get into the show. It was actually pretty good. Episodes were forty minutes long and before I knew it, we’d managed to watch nearly the whole first season.
By the time Dayton fell asleep, it was 4:30am. I exhaled a tired breath and turned the TV off, getting to my feet. I stretched my body out, feeling every little kink in my muscles. Staying awake all night probably wasn’t a good idea, but I didn’t regret it.
Dayton was snoring his head off, his cap sitting haphazardly on his head and his mouth wide open with a bit of drool dripping down his chin. The sight made me chuckle.
I removed his cap, sitting it down next to him, and covered him with a throw blanket before I left. Regardless of the fact that I hadn’t gotten any rest, I had work to do.