Chapter 15
Claudio came out of the guest room, stretching.
It had been a delightful day in every dimension.
He’d been out at Schola since yesterday, and it had been every bit as restorative as he’d hoped.
He’d spent the morning and early afternoon working on the salle’s enchantments with Isembard and a couple of hours working with Thesan on the school telescope maintenance.
It was exactly the kind of practical and fiddly magical work he found most relaxing.
They’d had supper downstairs with the couple of other staff still around over the holidays, then come back up to wash and settle in for the evening. Leo, their son, was off at Arundel with his sister, at least for tonight. It made a quiet and comfortable feeling in their rooms.
Thesan was on the cluster of sofas by the door, her feet up.
She’d changed into a loose housedress, with a well-loved cardigan over it.
As Claudio considered his options, Isembard came up the hall from their bedroom, patting Claudio on the shoulder as he ducked into the little kitchen to put on the kettle.
Thesan, though, looked at Claudio and tilted her head. “You’ve been thinking about something?”
“I usually am,” Claudio pointed out, because that was true. Thesan spread her hands, acknowledging the point, and just waited. He glanced behind him to the kitchen, then said. “Had a conversation that went a little oddly on Tuesday and I’ve kept coming back to it?”
“Well. We’ve time, nowhere to be, other than maybe an hour or two of observing later if the weather holds long enough.” Thesan reached over for her darning basket. “Tell me about it?” Isembard came out, and she added, “Us.”
The thing was, Claudio wanted to talk it out with people who’d listen and quite likely help.
And these were the people he trusted most in the world for that sort of advice, though these days Gabe was also very much in that group.
They’d known him for decades. They’d both taught Matthew Lawson, too, and they stayed in touch with their former students in ways they kept firmly to themselves.
If he’d messed up in a way that might be a problem for Matthew, they’d have an idea how to make it better. He took a breath and laid it out. The summary version, not getting into anything specific, other than that Matthew had had a bit of a bad turn.
As he came to the end, Thesan got the expression on her face that she had when she was about to figure out how to explain some bit of social dynamics to Orion.
Claudio had never had that look directed at him, and he was entirely uncertain what to do about it now, other than sit there.
The kettle sounded, but Thesan held up a finger when Isembard moved to get up.
“Moment, love. Claudio, can I ask which pub?”
“Urania’s Apples. Why?” Claudio paused. “I suppose you might know it, given the name.”
That obviously amused her. “Isembard, my love. This is a cider conversation, not a tea conversation. And slice up one of the stored apples, because we might as well have the full set of symbology?” Isembard raised an eyebrow, the way he did when he was missing a piece of something, but he got up and went into the kitchen.
Thesan went on, choosing her words carefully.
“There’s some context you’re missing that I’m quite sure is relevant.
Give me a minute, and I’ll figure out how to explain it. ”
Claudio took a breath, suddenly feeling very on edge.
But he was with people he trusted. They were in a room he knew was safe and private in all the ways Isembard’s skills and Thesan’s determined sense of community could make a space.
Neither of them was showing any signs of being angry with him, or even mildly annoyed.
He wasn’t sure he could deal with that. It felt like all of his skin was raw, almost sunburned.
Not a problem he usually had, though he’d talked through that sensation with Orion a few times.
Isembard came back out with three bottles of cider, all open, and a plate of sliced apples.
He handed a bottle first to his wife, then one to Claudio, then settled down next to Thesan, thigh to thigh.
Thesan nodded, took a long sip, and then said, “You haven’t done something wrong, Claudio.
But you’ve done something that might be read in a way you didn’t realise you were doing.
I’m trying to figure out how to explain it.
It’s one of those conversations that would not actually have been less awkward when you were nineteen or twenty.
But we didn’t have it then or since. I wasn’t actually expecting it now.
You know how I am with things I haven’t planned out in triplicate. ”
“Now I’m— um. Curious?” Claudio offered, a little cautiously. It got a smile from her, though.
“All right. Two more questions. Did he ask you out for a cider in particular? When he suggested that pub?” Thesan settled herself a bit more comfortably, but she put the darning basket firmly away.
“And what was your goal with the conversation on Tuesday, explicitly? If you were writing up a summary for a report, that sort of statement.”
Claudio thought back. “Suggested the pub, I had a cider both times, but I don’t think he specifically suggested it?
He wasn’t in any state to the first time.
” Then he had to think about the summary.
“That I wanted him to know I wasn’t going to be awful about whatever his preferences are.
And that I was interested in— I mean. He needs friends. ”
“And you think that should include you?” Isembard leaned forward, elbow on the knee not next to Thesan’s. “Something about him, then?”
“He runs an excellent meeting.” It sounded ridiculous even as he said it.
“I mean.” Claudio swallowed, then eyed his cider, and had a swallow of that for good measure.
“He was doing difficult work out on his own. I know what that’s like.
I could see the gap and the tangle. Blame Gabe for that.
” It got a slight smile out of both of them.
“I just like talking to him, the more we do. And he hasn’t pushed me away.
Or made it all about Mother or what I could do for him. ”
“All right.” Something in that made Thesan rearrange something mentally.
She wasn’t hiding the shifts from him. “All right. Let me give you a couple of pieces of information you don’t have yet.
You know people prefer pubs for all sorts of reasons, and that they develop specific groups of patrons.
Urania’s Apples has a long history— well back to before the turn of the century— as the place for the Ministry folks of certain preferences to find each other.
Or at least a place no one’s going to fuss at them. ”
Claudio blinked at her, startled. She went on, absolutely deliberately, making it clear with no ambiguity.
“Men who prefer men, women who prefer women, other combinations that aren’t focused on marriage for family and production of the desired two children.
Men who prefer men are known as Uranians in some circles, and the apples are a reference to a poem by Sappho.
Quoting Sappho pointedly being the single most reliable way to find other women of a shared persuasion. ”
She left it there, keeping her voice even throughout.
“Asking someone to go there for a cider, specifically, is a way of signifying that sort of interest that has plausible deniability if it goes wrong. The way that the Astronomy Guild means different things by asking about stargazing or doing a bit of observation together. I know I’ve told you that one. ”
Claudio blinked at her, a hundred thoughts colliding in his head. What came out, more a squeak than an actual sentence, was all impulse. “Wait, how do you know that? Is that— is that why you like cider?”
The last bit of it made her smile, though, and she lifted the bottle. “In this case, I like cider because it’s a fantastic drink, and it reminds me of where I grew up in all the good ways. But have I gone to Urania’s Apples and ordered the cider with purpose in the past? Yes, I have.”
Claudio’s jaw dropped. Every tiny scrap of coherence flung itself out of his head.
He’d had no idea. Isembard, however, had obviously known this.
He was just watching Claudio, his hand on Thesan’s knee, letting her guide what she said and how she said it.
It felt like forever before she took pity on him.
“While I was an apprentice. Though, for the record, Isembard didn’t know the details until Ursula was a few months old.
” A couple of years into their marriage, then.
Isembard picked up, as if they’d rehearsed this, even though Claudio knew they hadn’t.
“As I’m certain Thesan will explain in a second, there are many reasons people don’t talk about their preferences.
I’d burdened her with an excessive number of former partners and flings to deal with.
I made it clear that while I’d be glad to hear about her prior relationships, if she wanted to keep it private, that was fine with me.
I was, of course, entirely confident they wouldn’t be the sort of problem for me that I’d saddled her with. ”
His tone made Claudio snort, because he’d been around for the last of those. Specifically, for Isembard having to work around the junior librarian for years, after he’d badly handled that relationship and her admittedly unreasonable expectations about it.
He’d talked through that with both Claudio and Orion once Claudio had finished school a few years later.
And he’d also shared a lot of information Orion had found helpful in managing his own romps.
Claudio had never needed to apply any of the advice in a practical sense.
He just hadn’t been interested. Then he’d been married and still not interested.