3. Jace
Chapter three
Jace
“ F uck I needed that.” My chest heaves as I try to catch my breath. Sex is always good but getting fucked while someone plays with your junk is next level, and the way Blake worked my dick—I honestly don’t think I’ve ever come so hard.
“My turn next.” Blake licks his lips as he withdraws.
There’s a hint of anticipation in his tone, like he can’t wait to feel me, and for lack of a better term, it makes me giddy. I like that he wants me in every way. That he’s already thinking of the next time.
“You haven’t bottomed in a while either?” I ask as he throws the condom in the trash and tosses me a hand towel before coming back to bed, propping his head up with one arm so he can look at me.
His top shoulder lifts just a fraction as I clean off my stomach. “Most massages only take an hour, so hookups have to be quick. It’s just more convenient for me to top.”
“You fuck your clients? Isn’t that illegal?
” It’s hard to keep the surprise out of my voice, though I’m not judging.
Blake just doesn’t strike me as the type to break the rules.
Unnecessary risks, though… That’s something I see on a daily basis with filming, and it often comes with an adrenalin rush, so maybe that’s his kink .
“I think it’s only illegal if people pay for it.
Although, it might be a gray area since they’re already paying for the massage?
I try not to think about it too hard. I mean, it’s not like I’m running a business or anything, I just…
you know… Sometimes, massages feel so good that people want more, and for years that was my only opportunity to…
It wasn’t something I ever planned, it just sort of happened, and then it kept happening, and…
yeah.” His ears turn a little pink beneath his shaggy hair.
Maybe I’m a dirty fucker, or maybe it’s been so long since I had mind blowing sex, but the idea of going in for a massage that ends with an orgasm is making me sorta hard. Again .
I roll to my side so I’m facing him, propping my head on my hand just like his is. “How do you know people want more?”
He shoots me a wry look. “It’s usually sort of obvious.”
I bark out a laugh. “Fair enough. Is that where you pick people up? The spa?”
“It’s sort of the only place I can do it without it being front page news.” Blake’s voice fades as he finishes talking, giving me the impression he’s embarrassed or ashamed. He doesn’t need to feel that way with me, though. Living on the road, I’ve had my fair share of convenient hookups.
I grab his free hand with mine, stroking my thumb over his to reassure him that I don’t give a shit about his past, and because I just want to touch him. “Front page news is bad? I’ve seen the way some of your friends operate, and they aren’t exactly discreet when they’re trying to get laid.”
“The obnoxious ones aren’t gay.”
I hear what he doesn’t say. I am.
“So, you’re not out. I wondered.” My finger stops moving as I try to choose my next words. “None of your friends know you’re into guys? ”
“No one does.” Blake’s head shifts back and forth. “In Katah Vista, if one person knows the whole town does. It’s easier to pretend I’m not different than to bring that kind of attention into my life.”
“I’m confused. I don’t even live there, and I know of at least three queer couples who do. Are you saying the town doesn’t approve?” My thumb resumes its path over the back of his hand, wondering when the last time was that I held hands with…anyone. Fucking hell, this feels nice.
Blake watches the motion a moment before answering.
“No, they do. It’s just… Right now, there are three queer couples , so if I come out, I’ll be the only single gay guy in town, just like I was growing up.
I’d rather people think I’m still playing the field than pity me for not having anyone else on my field, you know. ”
“Yeah, I can see how that would be an uncomfortable spot.” My thumb continues its subtle caress. “Not that I’m complaining about the fact you’re single, but why not get with the other guys who are queer when you learned about them.”
Even in the dim light I can see Blake blush.
“I might’ve tried to get to know Maddox if Cade didn’t see him first, and honestly that whole thing was pretty shocking since I didn’t know Cade was bi until suddenly he was chasing a guy.
Carter spent his entire first year in town in his office, so I didn’t know he was gay either until he started dating Sloan, and besides, he’s a little too polished for my taste.
And Sloan… I never looked at him as more than a friend since he’s Ally’s brother and that just seemed weird. ”
“You never had an interest in Lennon?”
“Honestly, until your friend Axel came along, I figured Lennon was ACE. He’s not the flirty type, and I never saw him give anyone a second look, ever.
” He pauses, staring at our hands a moment before adding, “I’ll probably take a page out of Cade’s playbook and keep quiet until I have a reason to come out.
No reason to draw unnecessary attention to myself, you know? ”
“But you said the town is accepting of the queer couples there.”
“They are. But none of those couples makes their living working with kids.”
“And you’re worried people wouldn’t want their kids around a gay man?”
Blake gives a noncommittal shrug. “It happens.”
“It does, yeah. But you think it would happen in Katah Vista? The way you talk about it I don’t get the impression people would be that shallow.
Besides, they let Lennon near their kids, and he wears more skirts than any of the women in town,” I reference Lennon’s unique style, “I can’t imagine they’d balk about a gay man teaching their kids how to ride a mountain bike. ”
“Intentionally, they probably wouldn’t. But people might still say ‘Blake, the gay mountain bike coach’ instead of just ‘Blake, the mountain bike coach. ’ Even something as innocent as that can single me out.
I felt different enough growing up, still do if I’m honest, but as long as I don’t call attention to why I’m different then—I hope—no one catches on, so no one has a reason to pull their kids from my class. ”
“You seriously think that would happen?” I have my doubts, but I’ve got nothing except a good first impression of the town to back that up. Even if I’m right, Blake clearly has some unresolved fears about his sexuality, and it’s not my place to downplay or dismiss those.
His shoulder lifts awkwardly. “I don’t think so, but I’m not ready to find out.
Maybe if this job building the bike park comes to fruition I’ll feel better about coming out since it’ll secure my job in the industry even if I’m not coaching.
Until then… That’s why the spa thing is perfect, you know.
I get to fulfill my needs without the scrutiny. ”
“So, you meet all your needs there?” I try to lighten the mood, shooting him a coy smile as he finally takes his eyes off our hands.
“When you say it like that it sounds shady.” Another wave of red creeps across his cheeks.
“No more than hooking up with fans we meet on the road, I imagine. I’ve never had any male fans hit me up, though.”
“Does that mean you’re in the closet?” He holds his breath, waiting for my answer.
I chew my lip, searching for the best way to answer. “Not exactly. It’s not something I keep secret, but it’s never come up before so most of the guys have only ever seen me with women. Axel knows, though. I’d probably go a little crazy if I felt like I had to keep that secret from him.”
“I’d probably feel the same way if I didn’t have the spa as an outlet.”
You’ve got me curious about that.” I circle back to what’s quickly becoming a new fantasy of mine. “Do you get a lot of men coming through the spa?”
“I’ve never had any complaints.” Blake gives me a lecherous grin.
“So, if I had come in for that massage?” I lift my eyebrows.
“What do you think?” His eyes start to cloud with lust.
“I think I haven’t been this turned on in ages.”
***
Blake’s features are softer when he sleeps. Not that he has a hard look about him, but there’s maybe a hint of sadness in his eyes, almost like he’s lonely despite having lots of friends around him. I get that.
Traveling with Axel and the rest of our crew, I’m constantly surrounded by people. Yet only one of them really knows me .
Axel and I virtually grew up together—he lived with my family for several years—so he knows all my secrets. And my sexuality isn’t a secret per se, at least not in the sense that it’s forbidden to talk about. I just don’t broadcast it.
There aren’t many gay or bi people in the world of motocross, at least not that I’ve seen, but women are plentiful.
It’s not hard to find one to share a bed with.
If I bumped into a man I wanted to sleep with I wouldn’t hesitate, but since that almost never happens there hasn’t been much reason to discuss the fact that I like men, too.
And maybe it makes me an asshole, but I don’t feel like I should have to.
Straight people don’t have to explain themselves, so why should I?
Would the guys around me be surprised to learn I like men?
Probably. Would they care? Probably not since Axel opened that door by dating Lennon.
And even if they did, it wouldn't bother me. Most of them come and go with the seasons since the sponsors dictate who goes where, so if anyone did object to my lifestyle it’d be no big deal.
Axel is the only constant in my life, more brother than friend, and he doesn’t care who I sleep with.
He’s also careful not to bring up my sexuality unless I do, which means I’m a little like Blake in that most people around me don’t know the real me.
I do have Axel though, while Blake doesn’t seem to have anyone.