4. Chapter Four
Chapter Four
SARAH
This guy was kind of a jerk.
Apparently, Nora and I had the same taste in men, because she was eating up his attention. I had to hold back laughter at the way he cringed each time she took her hand out of her mouth and touched his face. On top of the separation anxiety we were battling, my poor girl was teething. Going back to work full time in August after a summer off had been an adjustment for both of us.
“Um,” Jay said from behind me.
I spun and chuckled at his grimace. The expression screamed What is going on? As Nora continued to gum on his shoulder, I fought back laughter.
“She’s teething.” I shrugged. “It’s either your shoulder or your finger. You decide.” Spinning back around, I continued forward, hiding the smirk on my face.
The young guy probably had zero experience with babies. In fairness, when I was in my midtwenties, I didn’t either. But now, as I was approaching thirty-two, my life had changed in monumental ways. I had a baby of my own and spent my days with a bunch of five-year-olds.
With an exhale, I turned off my thoughts about the man behind me and focused on the task at hand. What else did I need? Other than my normal groceries, I planned to grab a few things for tonight. My friend Tina was coming over for a girls’ night, and I wanted to have all of our favorite snacks. Chips and salsa, cheese and crackers… Oh. Ice cream!
I snagged a jar of the salsa I liked off the shelf and scanned the chips, searching for my favorite. When I found a row of them on the top shelf, I stepped forward and popped up on my tiptoes. At almost five-seven, I could reach most things, but sometimes I still needed to stretch.
“Jesus,” Jay grumbled, suddenly at my back and reaching over my head to grab the bag of tortilla chips.
I bit back a frustrated sigh. What was his issue now?
The heat from his body radiated against mine as I tilted my head back to look up at him. He froze, standing far too close, and stared down at me, his dark brown eyes burning into me. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, suddenly parched. The way he zeroed in on my mouth made my breath hitch.
“Here.” He slowly lowered his arm, tortilla chips in hand and his gaze still locked on me.
I looked away. He didn’t need a thirtysomething single mom drooling over him. Images of his bare chest and the basketball shorts hanging low on his hips from the other night flashed through my mind for what had to be the hundredth time.
“Thanks.”
As I took the bag from him, Nora grabbed a handful of my hair and yanked, making me flinch.
“Gentle,” he coaxed, slowly prying her hand from my hair. His fingers lingered for a moment before he combed through my long locks.
At the sensation, and as his masculine scent enveloped me, heat pooled low in my belly. Being near this man was doing stupid things to my body. I needed to get a grip.
Finally, he blinked several times and stepped back.
Once the heat of him was no longer palpable, I let out a long breath.
The next fifteen minutes moved in slow-motion as I worked to keep my mind focused on my list. It was a challenge, because now I was acutely aware of his presence. I could feel his eyes on me. And the way he fussed over my daughter when she whined or pointed to an object that caught her eye and babbled was so damn distracting.
“Thanks for your help.” I put the carton of ice cream in my cart, then turned and held my arms out to take my daughter from him. It took every ounce of willpower I had to ignore the way his T-shirt clung to his biceps and the muscles across his chest.
“It’s fine. I can carry her to the checkout lane.” He nodded toward the front of the store.
My stomach flipped. I really wanted to get away from him and stop the weird feeling that kept plaguing me. But I resigned myself to spending another ten minutes with him. After all, it would be easier to check out without Nora causing a scene.
After I’d paid, he headed for the door with my daughter, clearly unwilling to allow me to escape him, then loaded the groceries into the back while I buckled Nora into her car seat.
“Thank you,” I said as I stepped back, keeping the back door open.
“No problem.” He nodded to the back seat, where Nora was starting to whine. “Is she going to cry the whole way home?”
I sighed. God, I hoped not. “Maybe, but she might fall asleep.”
He shook his head, his brows pulling together. “I don’t know how you do it.”
A dark chuckle escaped me. “It’s not like I have a choice.”
“Right. I know. I just meant…” He rubbed a hand along his jaw, grimacing.
“It’s temporary. That’s what I keep reminding myself. It won’t last forever.”
“If you say so.” He shrugged. “Drive safe. Try not to burn the apartment complex down tonight,” he said with a smirk as he closed the trunk.
I rolled my eyes, hoping he didn’t notice the heat creeping up my neck. “Luckily, my neighbor is a firefighter.”
With a chuckle, he waved and headed back toward the store.
As I backed my car out of the parking spot, I couldn’t help but watch him retreat. While I shopped, he had followed me and carried Nora, deserting his cart at some point. I couldn’t remember if he had much in it when he offered to help. Did he still need to do his own shopping?
And if he did, I didn’t know what to make of it. My first impression of him was that he was a jerk, but how many other people in my life would have stopped what they were doing to help me out like that? How many would even bother to ask? Though I supposed I was partly to blame there, since I wasn’t good about asking .
Tina was one of a few people in my life who could sense when I needed help. She rarely questioned me, but she’d jump in here and there, always when I was floundering the most. That was likely why she was coming over tonight. I thought I’d done well donning a brave face since I was given the news of the parenting time being approved a couple of days ago. But if the way Tina insisted on coming over tonight and wouldn’t take no for an answer, I wasn’t sure I was faking it well.
Though I wouldn’t argue. The truth was, I could use the distraction.
Later that night, when Tina came back into the living room with a smile on her face, my shoulders sagged with relief. It hit me then that I really needed the break.
“I don’t know how you do that.” I shook my head.
“Sometimes babies go down for other people better than they do for Mom.”
That was probably true. My mom had no problem getting Nora down for naps on the days she watched her. But when we were home, Nora wanted nothing to do with sleep unless I was holding her.
I brought my wineglass to my mouth and sipped it slowly as I surveyed the darkening sky through the sliding glass door.
“You still nervous about Drew getting parenting time?” Tina asked as she sat next to me on the sofa with her own glass.
I shifted and curled my legs under me. “Wouldn’t you be?”
“I try not to stress about things I can’t do anything about.” Her shoulders lifted and fell in a slight shrug. “Have faith in the social worker and probation officer. They’ll watch out for Nora. It might feel scary, but it’ll all be okay.”
I nodded, though anxiety pressed down on my chest like a heavy weight. “I trust that they’ll keep her safe, but what if there comes a point when he’s allowed unsupervised parenting time? I’m not sure I can handle that. ”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” She patted my knee.
I smiled. There was something comforting about her. She was so motherly. Tina and my own mother were the people I most looked up to. They were women I strived every day to be more like. More than anything, I wanted to be a good mom. The kind Nora deserved. Had I always gotten it right? Nope, definitely not. My mom and Tina had both told me numerous times that I’d make mistakes. Everyone did. All I could do was my best. So I just kept trying. But most days, I still wasn’t convinced it was enough.
“Are you ready for the big change this week?” It was time for a different subject so maybe I could turn off all these spiraling thoughts.
She shrugged. “Not much will really change. I actually can’t remember the last time Kyle slept at his parents’ guest house.”
I couldn’t either. Kyle practically lived there already, so him officially moving in probably wasn’t that big of a deal. Their story gave me hope. Tina had been through so much. She’d lost her husband to war and had been raising two kids on her own before she met Kyle. If she could find love again, then maybe I could too.
My shoulders dropped. For me, I’d yet to find it at all.
All I’d known so far was manipulation, abuse, or indifference when it came to the opposite sex. Here and there, I’d dated a few decent guys, but none had been right for me. Or, more accurately, I hadn’t been right for them.
As I studied my friend, taking in her genuine smile, it was obvious Kyle and Tina were made for each other.
For now, I wouldn’t give up hope that the person made for me was still out there somewhere.