16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
SARAH
Tonight felt weird. Different. And not just because I was freaked out that someone may have been in my apartment. That was probably just me being paranoid. What had changed was the way Jay kept looking at me as I cooked dinner and we ate.
As I stepped into the living room area, I froze. I’d just put Nora down for the night in her crib, and out here, Jay was pulling a throw blanket out of the basket I kept in the corner full of them.
“Are you cold?”
“What?” He turned, his brows furrowed, then looked down at the blanket in his hand and chuckled. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I’m staying here.” He waved at the sofa. “Saw the basket of blankets and figured I’d get one out for me tonight.”
I shook my head. “You don’t need?—”
“What do I keep telling you?”
I rolled my eyes, even as my heart tripped over itself. “I was going to say you don’t need to sleep on the couch. We can share my bed.”
His eyes widened instantly. “No we cannot.”
Stomach dropping and hopes disintegrating, I crossed my arms across my chest. “Why not?”
Did I smell or?—
He took three large steps toward me, closing the space between us, and gripped my hips. As he pulled me tight against his very muscular body, I gasped.
“There’s no way I could sleep in bed with you and not touch you.” He shifted me so I could feel his hardness through his sweatpants. “See what just talking about being in a bed with you is doing to me?”
I took a brave breath in and hoped to God he wanted the same thing I did. Because I was done pretending that I didn’t want him.
“Who says you couldn’t touch me?” I slowly trailed both hands up under the hem of his shirt. “Jay, I want you. I want to feel your hands on me.”
“Sarah.” He searched my face, his eyes so earnest.
I shifted to rub against him, pulling a groan from him.
“I’m not looking for something casual or a one-time thing,” he murmured. “When I make you come on my cock, it will be because we’re together. ”
My heart leapt, and I nodded so quickly I felt like a bobblehead. “I want that too. So much.”
His gaze darkened to a rich brown a second before his lips crashed down on mine. I ran my fingernails up his back as he devoured my mouth. Snaking both hands around to cup my ass, he lifted me, bunching my dress around my hips. I moaned into his mouth as I wrapped my legs around him, feeling the hard length of his erection pressing against me. He walked backward and dropped down onto the couch. Breathless, I broke the kiss and pulled back, placing my hands on his chest and grinding back and forth against him.
“Fuck,” he gritted out. “I can feel how wet you are.”
“I need to feel you inside me.” I rocked again.
He gripped my hips, stopping me. “Sarah, I don’t have anything with me.”
I tilted my head to the side, frowning.
“Protection,” he spit out like he hated to admit it.
“Oh.”
Of course. The last thing most guys would want was to be tied to a woman because of a baby.
I shook my head, stopping the jaded girl inside me from taking over. “I’m on birth control, and I was tested for everything under the sun when I was pregnant. And I haven’t… you know… been with anyone since then.”
Single moms with babies rarely had guys banging down their doors. Though I supposed the hot firefighter beneath me had literally done just that the night I met him. I smiled at the reminder.
“I’m good too.” He tightened his hold and moved my hips back and forth. “I want nothing more than to find out how wet you are.”
I took over, loving the look on his face every time I glided over the tip and then back down. We were still clothed, but based on the way his eyes rolled back in his head, he was getting just as much pleasure from this as I was. He took over again, moving my hips faster.
“I’m so close.” I shook my head, fighting the sensations. “Jay, I want to feel you.”
“Need you to come first, baby.” He smirked up at me, pushing me down harder on his length. “There’s no way I’ll last long once I’m inside you, and I want to make this good for you.” He slipped his fingers under the elastic of my underwear, digging into the flesh of my ass. “Tell me what you like, what you need, so I can make you come.”
“Just this.” It had been so long since someone cared about my pleasure. I didn’t honestly know how to answer his question. “This feels so good.”
I threw my head back and gyrated my hips until my core tightened.
As I came, electricity arcing through me, Jay straightened and threaded his fingers into my hair, bringing my mouth down on his and swallowing my moans.
“Get that dress off,” he demanded a moment later.
Obediently, I scooted off him and stood on shaky legs. Focus fixed on him, I slowly hiked my dress up, only breaking eye contact when I pulled it over my head. He stood in front of me and mirrored the action with his shirt. God damn, I’d forgotten how amazing he looked without a shirt. He had lines that were defined between all his chest and ab muscles. Licking my lips, I reached out to touch him and brushed my fingers along his stomach and down to the waistband of his pants.
His groan gave me confidence as I worked his pants down his hips. He took over, yanking them down, along with his boxers, then discarding them. His cock was long and thick and begging to be touched.
Holding my breath, I wrapped my fingers around the base and tugged.
“Fuck,” he gritted out. “Sarah, I want your hands on me, but every time you touch me, I think I’m going to explode.” He grasped my wrist and gently pulled it away. “I need to be inside you.”
I pulled my bottom lip into my mouth with my teeth. I wanted that too. To move up and down his shaft while he was inside me.
He sat back down, bringing me forward to stand between his legs. “But now you have too many clothes on.”
He made quick work of removing my bra, then his mouth was on my nipple, licking and sucking while he hooked his thumbs into the string of my thong and worked it over my hips and down my legs. As he lowered them, he trailed his mouth south.
He flicked his tongue against my clit, making me buck hard. Then, with his hands on my ass, he buried his face between my legs. Working his tongue back and forth, he brought me close to the peak again.
I dug my nails into his shoulders and shuddered, but just as I reached the precipice, he pulled back and grinned. Whimpering, I hung my head. I was so close, and his smirk said he knew it.
“I want to feel you come on my dick.” He pulled me closer, guiding me to straddle him. “But next time, you’re going to ride my face.”
My breath caught. The images his words caused to flash through my mind went straight to my core, making it throb.
“You would like that, wouldn’t you?” He guided my hips forward, positioning me over his cock.
“Yes.” I swallowed thickly as he guided me down and stretched me. The burn and simultaneous pleasure had every nerve in my body awakening. “You’re so big,” I hissed.
He rotated my hips and lowered me another inch. “You can take it.”
The challenge in his eyes had me smiling, but after another inch, I dug my nails into his shoulders again and breathed through the delicious pain until I was fully seated on top of him.
“That’s a good girl.” His fingers bit into the flesh of my ass. “Now you need to move. Let me feel that pussy gripping my cock.”
Feeling empowered, I raised up, then slowly dropped down, watching his expression.
His pupils dilated and his jaw locked tight as I picked up my pace.
“Fuck, Sarah,” he growled. “Let me see those tits bounce.”
His dirty words inspired me, and I arched back, sliding up and down his hard length. It was incredible, the sense of control he was giving me. He was still bracing me, but only to help me move. He let me set the pace and decide how deep I wanted to go. It made me feel free. Powerful. Sexy. Confident. All the things I hadn’t felt in so long.
With one hand on my hip again, he slid the other to my stomach, then slid it low until he found my clit with his thumb and applied pressure, moving in circles.
“Right there.” My core tightened, sending pleasure shooting through my body.
Abruptly, Jay locked his arms around my back, startling me, then lifted and spun us so I was on my back and he hovered over me. He pounded hard into me as my orgasm hit me with forceful waves. Two more powerful thrusts, and he groaned, emptying inside me.
Panting hard, he lowered himself onto his forearms and pressed his forehead to mine.
As I caught my breath, a variety of emotions hit me hard. I wasn’t sure I’d ever experienced something so intimate, so intense. But the awe was accompanied by the fear of never experiencing it again .
Jay stood, offering me his hand. That smirk of his shooting straight to my core again.
He pulled me hard against his chest and wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on top of my head. “Want to cuddle on the couch and watch the rest of the episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine we started last night?”
I fought the surprise that bubbled up. Half of me expected him to bolt. I hated that all my shitty experiences with men had left me with such a jaded mindset. The last thing I wanted to do was let my past ruin this for me. For us.
“Sure.” I sagged against him and smiled. “Can we get dressed first?”
“I’d rather keep you naked.” His chest vibrated as he chuckled. “But yeah. Go put something comfortable on. I think I’ll run back to my place and grab myself a pair of shorts for the night.” He pulled back and pressed his lips briefly against mine.
“Okay.” I picked up my discarded clothes, clutched them to my chest, and headed toward my bedroom.
Quietly, so I didn’t wake Nora, I found a pair of pajama shorts and a T-shirt, and once I was dressed, I stopped in the bathroom to clean up. When I came out again, Jay had returned. We curled up together, watching TV, until I found myself yawning for the third time.
“You ready for bed?” he asked.
I nodded. “You’re really staying?” I was so thankful that Nora had let me put her down in her crib, and she was still asleep. I just hoped she stayed that way.
“Yeah.” He pressed his lips to my temple. “Every night if you let me.”
“What?” I popped up on my elbow and stared down at him.
“You still don’t get it, do you?” He shook his head, tucking my hair behind my ear. “You and Nora are it for me. This is where I want to be. Every night. Forever if you’ll let me. ”
I laid my head on his chest. I absolutely wanted more than casual. But forever? Could I even trust my own judgment? At one time, I thought Drew loved me, wanted forever with me. Look how that turned out. I obviously sucked at seeing the red flags.
He let out a deep sigh, his chest vibrating. “I get that you might need more time to get there.” Pulling me tighter into his side, he pressed his cheek to the crown of my head. “I know you’re dealing with a lot. But I need you to know how I feel.”
With a nod, I closed my eyes, relaxing deeper into his hold. This was the first time I’d felt truly safe and protected in the last three years.
Hope bloomed in my chest, and I prayed it wouldn’t be ripped away from me once again.