Chapter 5
FIVE
It took all of two hours. The house is mine, and everything is signed over. Yuki is taking care of the security, our team, and getting everything packed and moved. It’s all up to him, and now, the only thing I need to do is tell Faiz.
I go home, even though it’s the last place I want to be. Will I be strong enough to do what I need to do? I can’t melt and give in like usual as soon as I see his eyes. I have to be strong.
I walk inside our shared penthouse and find him sitting in the dining room, a plate of half-eaten food before him as well as his usual hangover cocktail, which he sips through a straw. He doesn’t say anything, but I don’t either as I watch him.
Both of us are in last night’s clothes, yet he doesn’t say a word. He simply runs his eyes over me and continues to drink his cocktail, and that’s when I know this is really over.
I wanted him to fight and get angry . . . anything, but he didn’t because he doesn’t care enough to.
Familiarity, friendship, and betrayal wash over me. All the years we spent together spin around us. It would be so easy to pretend everything is fine and carry on the way we have been, but I’m tired. I want to be happy, even if it hurts.
Despite how early it is, I head to the bar and pour myself a drink, knowing I’ll need it to get through this conversation. “Don’t forget we have that meeting with Zigon Electric today,” he says.
That’s it, nothing else.
No explanation, no demands, just a reminder about business.
When did everything get so twisted between us?
When did he stop loving me?
Was it one year ago? Two?
When did he stop looking at me as his forever.
Downing another glass, I try to drown my pain, but it doesn’t work.
It’s still there because despite it all, I love him.
I don’t know if it’s the same as it used to be, but it’s there.
I never gave up on us previously, but I am now.
I never thought I’d walk away, but here I am.
It will change everything, and it could make our families enemies, but I don’t care.
I can’t compromise myself anymore, not for the sake of making things easier.
“You should shower,” he adds when I don’t respond.
I don’t look at him as I speak, knowing if I do, my resolve will weaken. It’s just the effect he has on me. He’s always made me weak. “Do you even care where I was last night?”
He’s quiet, and I turn around, knowing my eyes swim with tears. I try to blink them away, not wanting that sign of weakness to fall.
“Do you even want to know where I was or what I was doing?”
He sits back, eyeing me, nothing but confusion on his face. “Should I want to know? Will it change anything?”
I stare at the man I love and realize he’s more of a stranger than Nikko is. This isn’t the man I fell in love with. I don’t know when he changed. Maybe it was so gradual I didn’t even notice, but it’s not him.
I stare for a moment before I down my drink. “No, I don’t suppose it will change anything.” I put my glass down carefully, even though I crave the idea of smashing it. That’s childish. “I won’t be at the meeting today.”
It’s an important one that we brokered together, and it benefits us mutually, but it’s negotiated for both of us, not one, and we know it. He must hear something in my tone, though, because he sighs.
“Okay. I will see if we can reschedule—”
“No. Let’s not reschedule.”
He sits up, his eyes narrowing as he frowns.
“Let’s not do it.”
“Z, this is huge for us. We’ve been fighting to get this deal for over a year—”
“I don’t care,” I retort. “I’m done.”
“Look, I get that you’re mad. I’ll reschedule, and when you calm down, we will talk about it,” Faiz mutters, grabbing his phone and dismissing my feelings.
“I am calm,” I tell him. “I was angry and hurt last night, and I have been hurting for years, but now I’m just . . . done. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not just the deal.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks as he stands.
“This. Us.” I gesture between us and the empty space filled with things we never say.
“Look, why don’t you go lie down? It’s fine. We don’t have to go to the meeting,” he dismisses.
“It’s not just the meeting!” I yell before taking a deep breath. “I can’t do this anymore. I mean it, Faiz. I can’t keep letting you break my heart. I’m done. I’m so tired.”
“Tired?” he repeats as he stares at me, something finally coming to life in his eyes. “I know I haven’t been the best partner, but Zia, it’s me. It’s us.” I stare, and he takes a deep breath. “Okay, why don’t we take a little break? I can go somewhere for a few days—”
“No, I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you cheating on me time and time again, then crawling back into bed with me with their smell still on you.
Both of us always pretend like nothing happened.
I’m tired of being nothing but a business partner.
I’m tired of being alone in this relationship.
I’m tired of loving you. I’m tired of being betrayed and hurt.
I’m . . . so fucking tired.” My vision blurs with tears once more as I stare at the man I thought would be my forever.
When did it become so hard? “I love you, Faiz, but I am not in love with you anymore, and I can’t let you break my heart again. I won’t recover.”
“Zia,” he whispers, reaching for me for the first time in years.
I step back. “I’ll get my stuff and be out today.
Do not worry about it, Faiz. People change, life .
. . relationships. I guess ours did, but I was so intent on holding onto you that I didn’t even notice.
That is my problem, not yours. That doesn’t excuse what you did, cheating is never the answer, but I’m to blame as well.
I let it happen, thinking it was normal, but I don’t want it to be normal.
I want to be happy, and despite everything, I want you to be happy as well, and you aren’t.
We are both trapped by duty and promises made between two na?ve kids. Well, I release you from that, Faiz.”
“Zia,” he whispers again, tears cascading down his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. I am too,” I murmur as I wipe my tears as my heart breaks, but it’s a sensation I am used to by now. “It’s okay. Some things have to break apart. We are just one of those things. Nothing lasts forever, even if we wish it could.”
We stare at each other for a moment before I realize he doesn’t have anything else to say, silent tears streaming down his face.
I swallow hard and roll my lips in. “I’ll get going now.
My stuff will be gone before dark. I’ll let my family know.
” I turn on my heel and hurry away before I shatter into a pile on the floor and beg him to love me enough.
I won’t do it.
I can’t. I owe myself more, but it hurts.
I don’t know what’s worse—the fact that I’m voluntarily walking away from the person I love or that he doesn’t stop me.
One resounding thing is evident.
It’s over.
It’s time to start again.
I don’t know why I go to my father. I have no idea how he will react, and that worries me, but it’s where I find myself while my new house is being organized.
I’m sort of numb, as if this isn’t really happening.
His guards let me in without much protest, and I drift through what used to be my house before I find myself in the kitchen, where he’s reading a newspaper. He looks frailer than I remember, but as he turns to me, I see nothing but strength in his eyes.
“Zia, I didn’t expect you today.” He smiles, but it fades when he gets a good look at me. Call it a father’s intuition or just his instincts, but he stands swiftly. “What is it? What happened?”
Titling my chin up, I clench my fists as I drop to my knees in shame. I couldn’t hold onto Faiz, and because of it, our family will suffer. “I’m sorry, Father. I know you have expectations for our family, but Faiz and I broke up.”
He’s quiet for a moment, and I keep my head bowed. He’s a fearsome man, he has to be to lead our family, but when his hand lands on my shoulder, it’s in comfort, not in punishment, and his voice is thick. “Stand up right now.”
I hesitate before climbing to my feet, unable to meet his eyes. I should have made it work just for our family and what we needed from it.
“Zia, look at me.”
I bring my eyes to his at his command, and his face softens as he runs his gaze over me. “Oh, my boy.”
“I’m sorry for disappointing you, Father. I just couldn’t do it anymore,” I tell him.
“Zia, I don’t want your apologies, son,” he snaps. “All I hope for is for you to be happy. I like Faiz, but only because I thought he made you happy. Fuck the families. Fuck what it means. If you aren’t happy, then leave. I will always support you.”
“It’s over. I left,” I rasp, my voice cracking. Something about being in front of him makes me weaker than ever.
He leads me over to the benches near the table and sits next to me, eyeing me.
“It hurts,” I admit. I see tears in his eyes as he roughly pulls me into his arms like he used to when I was a child. He takes quick breaths to push his own pain for me back.
“I know, son. I’m sorry, just let it out. I’m here.”
I cry in my father’s arms. I let him hold me as I break and grieve for the love I lost and the time I will never get back. When the tears stop, I straighten, and he wipes my tears away like he did in my younger days. I guess he will never stop being a father, no matter how old I get.
“Find your happiness, son.” His words almost echo Nikko’s, and for a moment, I think of him before it fades.
“Whatever that means. That’s all I wish for you.
I would give it all up if that’s what you needed.
I just want you to be happy.” He covers my hand.
“Promise me you’ll find it, whatever it takes. ”
“I promise,” I whisper. “I loved him, Father. I really did.”
“I know. Love doesn’t always last forever, but each love teaches us a lesson.
Your mother’s taught me patience and kindness, while my love for you teaches me protectiveness and happiness.
We learn lessons from each type, and even if it doesn’t last, they stay with us.
Forever is a very long time, and you are still so young.
Your life is just beginning. Don’t do what I did.
Don’t close up, push everyone away, and wallow in the grief of what you lost. Move on.
You are allowed to be happy. The world is far too big of a place for you to live with regret.
I’ll be right here, at your side, for as long as this body allows me,” he promises as he squeezes my hand, “and I am so very proud of you. Never doubt that, my beautiful, strong boy.”
Tears fill my eyes again, and I try to fight them back, blinking rapidly as I sniff. “I haven’t disappointed you?”
“You never could.” He says it so vehemently, I believe him. “You sacrifice so much for me, for this life I built, but it was never yours to sacrifice for. I never asked if this was the life you wanted—”
“It is, with you, with this family. It’s what I want.” I refuse to let him have regrets. My father did everything for me and still does. “I just want you to be proud of me.”
“I am, endlessly, no matter what you do. The money and business don’t matter.
Who you are as a person matters more, and I see a strong, confident, kind man who loves so deeply he fights until the end.
Faiz was lucky to have you, even for a little while.
I am so proud of the man you have become.
I always will be, and I will always be in your corner.
Let their family come after us. I will never let them hurt you or ruin what you have built.
I would die for you, son, but I will settle for being here to reassure you every time you are uncertain.
I might not have always been a perfect father, but I need you to know that this is always your home, I am always your home, no matter what happens.
When life gets too exhausting, just come home. ”
I lean into his shoulder, allowing myself a moment of weakness before I have to be strong again.
“You are an amazing father. You never cared who I loved or why, and you’ve always supported me.
I could never ask for anything more,” I tell him.
“You’ll always be my home, but I need to do this.
I went from this house to Faiz’s. I need to find my own way. I need to stand on my own.”
“Whatever you want, son,” he replies.
“But let’s stay like this for a minute longer,” I request.
“Anything,” he murmurs, and we sit side by side in silence.
My future is unknown, but at least I have him.
I have my family and a whole new world to explore.
I never thought I’d be starting over without Faiz, but my father’s right. The world is too vast to keep hurting.
I hope whatever comes next has peace.