CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO Secrets and Lies
TJ—
My father slams the door to his office behind us. “What the hell is so urgent?” He flings his hand toward the door. “Can’t you see I’m in the middle of a goddamn mess right now?”
“That’s what I want to talk to you about. There’s something you don’t know. Something you need to know before you make that decision about Brayden.”
He drags a hand through his hair. “Goddamn more secrets? Are you shitting me?”
“It’s big, Dad, and awful, and I wanted Brayden to tell you a long time ago, but he made me promise to keep it to myself.”
Dad takes a step toward me. “So help me, God, you boys know better than to keep shit from me.”
“I know that, but he’s my brother. I owe him some loyalty, too. Dad, he’s looked up to me his entire life, tried to compete with me, and recently I found out, he’s always felt like he’s second in your eyes.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re both my sons. I love you equally.”
“I know that, but apparently Brayden doesn’t feel that way. I can’t blame him, really. I was first to do everything, even with the club. I prospected first, I got my patch first, and he’s sure I’ll get a seat at the table before he does, too, no matter what he does to earn it.”
“I didn’t know he felt any of that.”
“That’s not the worst of it.”
“Christ, there’s more?”
“You know that injury he got in wrestling, senior year?” I ask.
“Yeah. What of it?”
“He’s been struggling with pain ever since.”
My father takes a step back, as if the admission literally hits him. “What? He never said a word.”
“He was prescribed painkillers. Opioids.”
“That was years ago.”
“I know. The fact is, he got addicted. Lots of people did back then. Hell, they were prescribing those things like Tic Tacs in those days.”
My father’s chest rises and falls as he digests what I’m telling him. “Are you saying he’s hooked on pills?”
“Not anymore. He got himself clean. For the club. For you. He knew you’d never tolerate it.”
“My God. All this time—”
“The ride out to that funeral was hell on him, Dad. Then, when he got into it with one of the ‘Bama crew, it reinjured it. I’ve been terrified he’d turn to pills again. He wouldn’t even go see a doc-in-the-box for fear they’d prescribe him something like that again. He told me he couldn’t go through that all over.”
“So, he’s in pain?” My father frowns, worry lines cutting deep.
“No, that’s just it. When he met Rebel, she got him to try some new therapies. Massage, Yoga, Acupuncture. And they worked, Dad. She was good for him. Then when he came home, everything backslid. He wasn’t doing any of those things anymore. He’s been depressed, not caring about anything, the club, his brothers, even riding. All he wanted to do was crawl into a bottle of booze. I’ve been worried sick about him. I even talked to Mom and Crash. I was going to talk to you, but you and Mom had that trip planned, and I didn’t want to ruin it for you, so I thought it’d wait until you got back. But then Rebel showed up. Dad, it’s like he’s a new man again. She’s good for him, and if you force them apart, I’m afraid of what will happen.”
“Did he go back to the pills?” Cole asks.
“No, but if they’re separated, I’m afraid Brayden is going to backslide or maybe even become suicidal. She’s good for him. You have to let him go.”
My father paces, then pulls his phone out and shoots off a text. A moment later, my mother steps through the door. He looks at her.
“TJ was telling me about Brayden. Without her, he’s lost, Angel.”
She moves to him, clutching his waist and burying her face in his chest. “This is so hard.”
My father strokes her back. “I know, Angel. I know, but we have to be strong. We’ve got to do what’s best for him.”
She blinks at my father. “We have to let him go, don’t we?”
My father nods and cups her face, then he looks at me. “Go get him.”
I walk down the hall and push the door open. Brayden’s eyes immediately connect with mine, and I lift my chin and jerk my head for him to come on.
He follows me down the hall.
“What’d you tell him, TJ?”
“Everything, Brayden. I told him everything.”
I see the anger in his face, but there’s no time for him to punch me, because I pull the door to the office open, and he has no choice but to walk through.
The room is silent when I follow my brother in. I hate that I have to put him through this, but it’s the only way.
“TJ told me you were hooked on opioids. Said you’ve been struggling with pain. This true, son?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you come to me?”
“I didn’t want to fail you.”
“Do you think the club is more important to me than you are?” My father steps up to him and clasps his hands on my brother’s shoulders. “You’re my son, Brayden. I love you.” He pulls him in for a hug, clutching him, and I see the torment on my father’s face.
I glance to my mother and see the tears in her eyes. She puts her fingertips to her mouth, like she’s been waiting a lifetime for Cole to hug her last born. My father loves us all; I know that to my bones, but it’s hard for a man like him—an MC president—to show those emotions.
The two of them rock side to side, and my father holds him so tight, I’m not sure he’s ever going to release him. Finally, he slaps my brother on the back and looks in his face, one hand moving to cup his nape and shake him. “So, you really love this girl, son?”
“Yeah, I do. She’s it for me, Dad. Just like Mom was it for you.”
“Then I’ve got to let you go.”
My brother’s face goes slack, like he can’t believe he’s hearing those words.
“You mean it?”
“If it’s what you want. But I want you to know that if things don’t work out, there’s always a place for you here, son. Always.”