Chapter 3
noah
I met Aris for lunch at our favorite café about a block from the medical office complex where we both worked. He was sitting in what was widely considered to be “our booth” in the back, and he’d already ordered my veggie panini.
“You’re on top of things today,” I praised him, which made him grin like a fool. “Thanks for ordering for me. I got out of the office a little later than I hoped because I had an unexpected patient right after I got back from surgery. I thought Karla had cleared my schedule until one o’clock, but I forgot I’d agreed to a last-minute consultation.”
“Oh, you must be talking about Danielle.” He took a bite of his meatball sub.
“That’s right… I almost forgot Raine texted you first to ask if I could squeeze in someone as a favor.” My boyfriend was always connecting people. Aris was gregarious and knew how to work a room. And with his gorgeous Greek heritage, signature man bun and dimples, he always left quite an impression on folks.
I know he did on me.
“How did you meet her again?” I took my first bite of panini. So good.
He grinned and was adorable, even with a tiny bit of tomato sauce in the corner of his mouth. “Yeah, I met her at Bonnie’s party a few weeks ago. She’s Raine’s roommate.”
“I almost forgot you know Raine too, but of course you do.” He rolled his eyes in a playful way as I reached across the table to wipe away the sauce with my napkin. “Well, I can’t share the details—HIPAA and all?—”
“But will you have another appointment with her?” Aris set his sandwich down and leaned forward, seeming invested in my answer.
“Again, HIPAA.” I wagged a finger at him. “Why do you care, anyway? Did you see her today?”
“We shared an elevator after her appointment. She told me she’d seen you, but she didn’t say what for. She seemed very intrigued when I told her we’re poly.”
My brows wrinkled. “You told her what?”
He blinked a few times. “I told her we’re poly.”
When I continued staring at him, he added, “Because it’s the truth?”
I sighed. It was the truth, but it wasn’t something I liked to advertise, especially to patients. I was already in trouble for?—
“Do you have a problem with that?” His gaze sharpened. “She’s gorgeous, don’t you think?”
I shrugged. “She’s fine.”
“That long brown hair? Those curves? She’s a goddess,” Aris insisted. “I wouldn’t mind worshipping those curves.”
“Are you saying you want to go out with her?” I asked him point-blank. I didn’t see any reason for beating around the bush.
His lips pursed as he appeared to consider my question. “Well, I wouldn’t be opposed to it. But I won’t ask her out if you have an issue with it.”
Aris wore his heart on his sleeve, and it was easy to see he was disappointed by my reaction. I scrambled to come up with some talking points about why it might not be the best idea. “Well, first off, she’s my patient, so I can’t really get involved with her. Not that I have to if you’re dating her, but—well, you and I are so new, and…”
“And what? You don’t know if you want to share me yet?” Those long-lashed hazel eyes blinked rapidly, but he wasn’t going to drop this conversation without an answer.
Was that what it was? Or was it the issue I was facing that I hadn’t told Aris about yet and, frankly, I wasn’t quite sure how to broach the subject. I hadn’t been able to think of much else, yet I didn’t want to talk about it either.
Maybe encouraging Aris to date someone else was actually in my best interest. We were still establishing our relationship, our routine, and we’d only been living together at Cynda and Jason’s for a month. But, at this point, I was unsure what the next few months would bring.
“I love you,” I took his hands into mine, “and I’m not going to stop you from seeing other people. Love doesn’t have to mean ownership. In the truest, freest sense of the word, it shouldn’t mean ownership.”
“Why do people equate love with possession?” he wondered, but there was a playfulness dancing in his hazel orbs.
I shrugged. “I think it’s insecurity. The fear that letting your love explore other relationships puts your own in jeopardy. But the truth is: love is a risk. Any time you give your heart to another person, you risk them breaking it. Holding on too tightly doesn’t change that.”
“You’re so right.” He squeezed my hand, and I saw the wheels spinning in his mind. “I do think I might ask Raine for Danielle’s phone number. If you’re sure you’re okay with it.”
I smiled. I might not have been one hundred percent okay with it, but I reminded myself of the words I’d just spoken. Their veracity. And how my present circumstances might distract me from being the best partner I could be.
“She is really pretty,” I agreed. “I don’t blame you for wanting her.”
He grinned as a deep breath puffed his chest out. “Maybe she’s into sharing too?”
* * *
I had a huge headache after seeing my afternoon patients, so I went home after my last consultation. Aris was headed to the gym after work, so the only person in the house was Cynda, who was making her famous lasagna.
“God, it smells like heaven on earth in here!” I exclaimed as the smell of garlic and cheese filled my senses. “You sure do spoil us, Cynda.”
She came out from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, which read, Kiss me, I’m bi and poly!
“Love that apron. If I cooked, I might need one like that too.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a hug. “How was work today? You didn’t go to the gym with Aris?”
I shook my head. “Nah, I’m going to take a couple ibuprofen actually. I had one or two challenging patients this afternoon, and my head is pounding.”
Cynda’s lovely face scrunched up with concern. “I’m sorry to hear that, Noah. Go sit in the living room. I’m about to have some coffee while this lasagna bakes. I’ll bring you some painkillers and a coffee—the caffeine will help your headache.”
“You’re the absolute best, Cynda. You would make an incredible doctor. Has anyone ever told you that?” I patted her shoulder affectionately. “I have to admit, your bedside manner is a lot better than mine.”
Her contagious laugh spilled out, warming my soul, before she returned to the kitchen to complete her tasks. In no time, she was serving me coffee, ibuprofen in a small paper cup, and a glass of water. I owed this woman so much—Aris and I would have probably never gotten together if not for her. She helped us both admit to each other we were bisexual, and that we were wildly attracted to each other.
“So, tell me what’s new with you, Noah. You seemed a little upset at dinner last night.” She settled down in the armchair and took a sip of her coffee from a mug that said Sharing is Caring!
“Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I brushed off her concern, though she was right that something was bothering me last night—and today. If I were being honest with myself, my headache probably had more to do with this cloud hanging over my head than it did my afternoon patients.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” She tilted her head, and her honey-brown eyes honed in on me. It was like she had lie detectors in them, and they could see straight through me.
Well, telling Cynda would be safer than telling Aris. Aris had a tender heart. He was a notoriously positive person, but he didn’t handle stress well.
“I probably shouldn’t say anything until after I meet with my lawyer,” I offered, hoping that might clue her in to the seriousness of my dilemma. I, unlike Aris, didn’t get stressed about trivial things. If I was going to get stressed about something, it would be something consequential.
This was consequential.
“That doesn’t sound good.” She laid a hand on top of mine. “If you’re not ready to talk about it yet, I understand, but please know I’m always here for you.”
“I love that about you, Cynda. Your loyalty and compassion, your empathy and caring spirit—you’re just such a special person to me. Thank you so much for bringing Aris and me together, and for inviting us to live in your polycule. I have never been happier, and there’s no way I would be able to face what I’m facing without such a great support system by my side.”
She brought her steepled hands to her face, pressing them against her mouth as tears glistened in her eyes. Happy tears, I hoped. “It’s so lovely of you to say such wonderful things about me, Noah. I just knew as soon as I saw you and Aris together that you needed to explore that spark. I’m never wrong about these things…”
“Indeed.” I chuckled.
“Then when I heard you both had less-than-supportive roommates?—”
“Homophobic roommates, you mean. Let’s not give them any undeserved credit.” I rolled my eyes thinking about the guys we’d lived with. They didn’t understand why we needed to date each other, why we couldn’t just continue to date women if we liked women too.
“But you date women,” my roommate Brian had said. “So…what, you’re like gay now? You’re not planning to bring him over here, are you?”
He said it like I got to choose who I was attracted to or fell in love with. Or that I should only feel comfortable expressing the side of me attracted to women. That was all bullshit, of course. Cynda was instrumental in helping me understand and believe that both sides of me were equally valid and deserving of recognition.
“I hate that word—because ‘phobic’ means fear, and what it really is…is hate. It’s homo-hatred.” She gave a heavy sigh.
“Maybe. Either way…you rescued us both from what could have been a volatile situation. I will never be able to repay your kindness.”
“The good news is you don’t have to,” she returned. “Just keep paying your part of the bills and enjoying my cooking, and we’ll be all squared away.” She opened her arms wide, welcoming me into her embrace.
I couldn’t resist a Cynda hug. It was a momentary reprieve from worrying about Aris dating my patient…and from my legal troubles.