Chapter 13
noah
I spent the morning in surgery. Being able to compartmentalize has its advantages. All the drama with the malpractice suit went into one box, and the fact I’d gotten turned on listening to Aris and Danielle went into another. Then I opened up the box with my kick-ass surgical skills and did a fucking amazing job on another tonsillectomy. Last I checked on my young patient, she was awake and asking for ice cream. We both earned our gold stars for the day.
I headed over to my office after that. I didn’t have a patient until one—a rare two-hour break. Whatever would I do with myself?
I’d been in my office for all of three seconds when there was a knock on the door. Heaving a sigh and starting to feel the tension creep into my neck and shoulders, I called out, “Come in,” expecting it to be Lucy with refill requests or something of that nature.
“Hey,” came Aris’s soft voice as he poked his head around the door. “You sure it’s okay if I come in? You don’t seem busy.”
He had left a voicemail and a few texts on my phone, but if he’d gone to our shared Google calendar, he would have been fully aware that I was in surgery this morning. I was going to answer the texts eventually. Voicemails, no. I never listened to them. He knew that.
“You never answered my texts or voicemail,” he said, sitting down across from me on the small brown leather sofa. His scrubs today were a medium gray color, which made his olive-colored skin look a little washed out. Or maybe he hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before—for all I knew, he was up fucking Danielle for hours.
I watched him play with his man bun, tightening the scrunchie that held it as he awaited an answer.
“Sorry, I’ve been busy.” I didn’t mean it to come out so curtly.
“What is going on with you?” he asked for the hundredth time.
“Nothing is going on with me, Aris. I’m just busy. I’m a surgeon. I have patients to see. Surgeries to perform. I had to cancel my afternoon appointments yesterday, so now I have to figure out how to cram those patients in this week.”
“Oh, I suppose that’s my fault,” he fired back at me.
I just stared at him, blinking.
“It was an accident,” he said through clenched teeth.
“I know that, Aris. But it doesn’t change the fact that my afternoon and, well, now my entire life is going to be disrupted for the next six to eight weeks while you take care of your new girlfriend in our house.”
“Wow.” He stood up. “I didn’t realize you felt that way. You’re the one who told me to bring her home.”
“What choice did I have?” I remained seated in my leather executive chair while he now paced in front of the door.
“I think you would really like her if you got to know her better,” he finally said.
Which wasn’t at all on topic. The topic was how things were rough for me right now, and he just didn’t seem to care. He was involved in his own busy times.
“You know, maybe we just need to take a break,” I suggested. Not in a rude or incendiary way. In an honest way. In an I just don’t have time to deal with this right now, so can you give me some space? way.
“You want to break up with me?” His hazel eyes flashed with hurt. “You said I could date other people. We’re poly, Noah. That’s what we do. And we’ve never had the veto power thing.”
“Our relationship is still new,” I reminded him. “We haven’t exactly figured out what works for us. We’ve only lived together for a few months, and you’re already bringing someone new into the picture. I’m sorry I’m so busy, and maybe I don’t have the time and energy you need, so maybe you can just date Danielle for a while until things get smoother for me.”
He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath, his nostrils flaring with emotion as he considered my words. “I can’t believe you’re doing this, Noah. You said you loved me. You’re giving up on us because I’m dating a woman?”
“No, for fuck’s sake! Did you hear anything I said?” I stood up now to face him. I was a couple inches taller than him, and I let him know it. I didn’t need this kind of mental distraction right now when I had so much on my plate—that was why I suggested he date Danielle in the first place. And maybe he should only date Danielle.
“I heard everything you said,” Aris answered. “But I don’t have to like it.” He opened the door and started to walk out, but right before he did, he turned around and stared at me. “Goodbye, Noah.”
It took a lot to upset me. I was generally a glass-half-full kind of person, and, more often than not, I gave people the benefit of the doubt. The way Noah had closed himself off to me was hurtful, and now he was trying to make me feel bad about taking care of Danielle after I caused her injury.
After storming out of his office, I returned to my floor and my work, where I asked my boss if I could have the rest of the afternoon off, citing a need to take care of some personal issues.
“I was surprised to see you come in today,” Dr. Meredith Riley said with empathy in her eyes. “I know yesterday was rough, but I’m glad you didn’t get seriously hurt.”
Because the accident happened right outside our building, everyone had heard about it. I probably had a dozen people ask me how I was doing and if Danielle was okay today.
“Would you mind seeing Danielle to look at her leg?” I asked. “You know, just so she can get a second opinion, make sure there’s nothing else we can do but wait for it to heal.”
“Yes, of course, Aris. Anything for you.” Meredith smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Have her come in tomorrow morning, first thing. I’ll squeeze her in. Get me a copy of her x-ray too.”
“You’re the best, Mere.” I reached out my arms, and she stepped into them to give me a hug. She really was the best boss I’d ever had. There were never any questions asked when we needed time off. She kept her office well-staffed, so we were never hurting for help, and because of the great work environment, no one abused her generosity.
I headed home in my car. I’d have to get a new bike—that sucked, but it could have been worse. The frame was bent. Of course, today was nearly balmy at fifty degrees, and the sun seemed to be mocking me after the ice storm yesterday. That was Indiana weather for you.
As I pulled into my driveway, I saw Raine walking out of the house. “Hey, how’s she doing?”
Raine closed her eyes and shook her head. “Have you talked to her today?”
“No,” I admitted, “I wanted to get work wrapped up so I could come home and spend the rest of the day with her. She’s still in pain? Meds aren’t working?”
“She got the part,” Raine said bluntly. “And she accepted it.”
“What? How’s she?—”
“She was caught so off guard by the phone call, she didn’t have the wherewithal to tell them she wouldn’t be able to perform.” Raine sighed. “I don’t know what to do for her. She’s just sitting there staring into space—catatonic.”
“Thanks for the heads-up. I’ll see what I can do.”
Raine reached out and patted me on the shoulder. “You’re a good dude, Aris.”
She climbed into her car and drove off as I stepped onto the porch and opened the door. Cynda was in the kitchen doing Cynda-things. She flashed me a concerned look, and I nodded. We seemed to understand each other. She tilted her head toward the living room, so I headed in, not prepared for what awaited me.
Danielle was sprawled out on the sofa with her leg propped on the ottoman and dozens of wadded-up tissues surrounding her. Her head was tilted back, and her eyes were closed, but when she heard me enter, they fluttered open. As soon as she saw me, she started sobbing again.
“Oh no, oh, Danielle…” I rushed to her side, gathering her up in my arms, gently because I didn’t want to hurt her leg. “I heard what happened. I’m so sorry. What can I do?”
The tears erupted, soaking into my shirt as she heaved and shuddered in my embrace. I wanted to take all her pain away, and the guilt I felt for putting her in this predicament racked my whole body. I wished I could take off my good leg, let her borrow it, and then I could be the one to hobble around on crutches for the next two months.
“I have to call them and give up the role,” she managed to get out, but it was punctuated by sobs. “I can’t do it. I can’t.” She shook her head, sending tears flying all over me.
I held her close, and she rested her head on my chest. We sat there for a few minutes as the tears subsided and her breathing began to even out. I thought she might have fallen asleep when her head finally popped up.
“Can you call them for me?” came her meek little voice, the words squeaking out as she looked up at me with those big, wet doe eyes.
“Oh, darling. I feel like it should come from you, but I can if you’re sure you really want me to.” I stroked my fingers through her hair then tucked a strand behind her ear.
She sucked in a fortifying breath. “You’re right. I’ll do it. Can you hand me my phone? I think I threw it across the room when I went through my angry phase.”
I saw a pink sparkly phone case on the carpet near the window. “Sure, just a sec.” I retrieved it and handed it to her. “Do you want me to go or stay while you call?”
“Stay,” she said. “Please?”
“Of course.”
She heaved a heavy sigh of determination and scrolled through something on her phone. After punching a button, she held it to her ear. “Hello, is Eve Wilson in please?” She flashed me an uneasy smile. “It’s Danielle Delacroix calling. Thank you. I’ll wait.”
Putting her hand over the phone, she held it away from her face. “I’m so nervous. What if they tell me I—” A garbled voice emanated from her phone’s speakers. “Hello?”
My heart pounded, nervous for her. I sent her all the positive vibes I could muster.
“Yes, so, I’m calling because I had a terrible accident and my leg is in a cast… I know… Six to eight weeks. Yes, I know opening night is in four weeks. I am really disappointed too, but mainly I don’t know what this means for finishing my master’s… Right… Well, I’ll give her a call. Thanks for your understanding… Yes, I hope so too.”
Her voice was perfectly even, pleasant, and poised. There was no way anyone would have guessed she’d been crying most of the day. She didn’t even have that stuffy nasal quality to her voice.
She placed the phone in her lap and tilted her head back again, appearing to be fighting more tears. “Well, I did it,” she said without looking at me.
“You did an amazing job. Very professional.”
“Years of acting.” She blew out a sigh. “She said I’ll have to speak with my advisor about the status of my degree.”
“I see. Oh, I got you an appointment with my boss tomorrow morning at eight-thirty. Does that work for you?”
“That’s very kind of her to squeeze me in. We can make it work. It’s not like I’m going to be doing anything else, but I will need a ride.” She still hadn’t moved from her position with her head back against the sofa cushion.
“Of course. What else can I do for you?”
She finally lifted her head off the pillow and looked at me. “To be honest? A nap and cuddle would be lovely. With a stop at the restroom first.”
I flexed my muscles. “I think I can handle that.”
My headspace was currently a war zone. I had so many conflicting emotions, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Actually, I’d used up most of my tears already today, so laughter seemed to be the next logical choice. I wasn’t even sure what Aris said when he helped me into the bedroom, but the giggles started, and I just couldn’t stop.
“I didn’t think it was that funny,” he said as he plopped down on the thick memory foam mattress beside me.
“I think it was the way you said it, not the actual words.” My stomach muscles were starting to hurt, I’d laughed so hard.
Once I calmed down, I propped myself up on my elbow facing Aris. “So…”
He smiled. “So…”
“When does Noah usually get home?” I asked.
A flicker of something passed over his face, some emotion I couldn’t quite identify. But it was gone in a flash, and he smiled. “Oh, probably between five and six. He has some sort of radar that tells him exactly when to show up for Cynda’s amazing cooking.”
“She said she’s making stir fry tonight.” I licked my lips. “Sounds really good.”
“I’ve been meaning to try some Greek recipes with her,” he said, his hazel eyes locked on mine. “My whole family is Greek, and my mom and Yaya are incredible cooks. Cynda is too, of course. I figure if anyone can do their recipes justice, it’s Cynda.”
“That sounds amazing.” I patted my stomach thinking about what Cynda’s cooking was going to do to my waistline. “Well, as amazing as the food sounds, I’ll probably leave here ten pounds heavier.”
“So what if you do?” He tilted his head.
“Well, I’m already fat.” I sighed. “I meant to lose some weight before auditioning for The Music Man, but…it just didn’t happen. I got so busy with classes, and I?—”
“Stop,” he put his finger to my lips, “I think your body is absolutely perfect.”
“Casting directors usually don’t.”
He scoffed. “Well, that sounds like a them problem to me.”
“Well, it’s a me problem if I can’t get work,” I explained. “There aren’t a lot of roles for fat women.”
“Not that ‘fat’ is a bad word at all, but you have a very beautiful curvy shape. I’d call it ‘zaftig,’ to be honest.”
“Say what now?”
His eyes widened as they bounced between mine. “You’ve never heard that before? Zaftig?”
I shook my head. “Obviously, or I wouldn’t be saying ‘say what now!’” I gave him a little fake punch.
“It’s a Yiddish word that literally means ‘juicy.’ I’m Greek on my dad’s side and my mom’s mom’s side, but my mom’s dad has Jewish heritage. It’s a positive term. Voluptuous and beautiful. Goddess-like.” He bit his lower lip and let his gaze roam over my figure. “I know that’s the way I see you.”
“It is?”
He nodded. “Definitely.”
“Noah is so fit… He’s what you’re used to,” I pointed out.
“Noah has a great body. He’s lean and toned, not quite as bulky as I am. You know what the best part of being bi and poly is?” He looked into my eyes with such depth, such sincerity, it gave me goosebumps.
“What’s that?”
“I get to fall in love with and explore so many beautiful types of bodies. Male and female. Small and large. Firm and soft.” A big smile grew on his face. “Damn, I’m getting hard just thinking about it.”
I almost missed his words, “get to fall in love with.” The promise Cynda asked me to make rang in my ears, but I didn’t say a word. Instead, I let him wrap me in his big, strong arms and hold me until I fell asleep.
She told me I should be honest about my intentions.
But I didn’t want to close any doors just yet.