30. TALIESIN
The predator—wolf—inside me, is always watching the door, always waiting for her to come back.
He doesn’t like it when she’s gone.
When footfalls sound in the corridor, I automatically know it’s not Rory.
Layla appears, her face a mask of wary exhaustion. Tucked into her shadow is Sky.
The kid has red-rimmed eyes and looks like she’s jumping at shadows.
“Where are your roomies?” Layla asks, as she scans the empty outer cell. “Left you all alone, boss?”
“He took Rory for a shower,” I grumble.
Layla sighs. “What’s his deal? Why the fuck is he here?”
“End game? Who the fuck knows. I just know he wants her—Rory.”
Layla raises an eyebrow. “Then you’d better get on that, Boss.”
I wince, getting to my feet. Pain flares again as I move. “It would be a fuck sight easier if I didn’t feel so shit. What are you doing here?”
“Collecting your trays. Sky was going to stay with Barbie while I returned them.” She flicks a smile to the small girl. “The chow hall isn’t her favorite place.”
Yeah. I understand that.
The girl is staring at her feet, hands wrapped around her body like she’s trying to physically hold herself together. “You go, Lay. I’ve got her.” Sliding the empty mugs and tray through the slot, I sit down on the floor, leaning against the bars. “Hey, kid. Keep me company for a bit?”
Sky looks at Layla and bites her lip.
“I’ll be quick,” she tells the girl, giving her shoulder a quick, firm squeeze.
I pat the floor. “Take a seat.”
After what looks like a few seconds of intense internal deliberation, Sky lowers herself down, eyes flicking to the door. “Hi.” Her voice comes out as a whisper. “Rory said you were sick.”
“I’m getting better,” I say, forcing a half-smile. “Just a bit of a headache right now.”
Like someone is taking a Godsdamn sledgehammer to my skull.
“Come on, distract me, Sky. Tell me something that isn’t about this godsdamn place.” Inside my thumping brain, I think about the possibility that this little kid has an innate beast inside her.
Sky hesitates, tucking her knees to her chest. “I’m not very good at just coming up with stuff.”
“That’s cool,” I say. “How about you tell me, I don’t know, about your dreams? I have crazy dreams.”
She gives me a slight smile. “I do too. I try to tell Layla about them every morning, but she says other people’s dreams are the most boring things ever.”
Well, not going to lie. I mostly agree with Lay, but not this time.
I want to know if this kid runs through a forest. If she dreams she has paws, fur, and teeth that could shred any prey.
“Sometimes I dream about the lady statue,” she tells me.
OK. Twist, but I nod. “Tell me.”
“She was outside the blue house. I’d talk to her through the glass, then at night, in my dreams, she’d tell me to dry my eyes, that my time would come to be free. That I wouldn’t always hurt.”
My jaw tightens. Poor thing.
There’s an awkward pause, until I think of a way to continue the conversation. “In my dreams I don’t have wings, I have a furry tail and four paws. I run through the forest feeling free.”
“Like a dog?” She cocks her head to one side, a tiny smile touching her lips.
“Something like that,” I reply. “It’s the best feeling in the world, isn’t it? Being unshackled, wild and free.”
As I say the words, my memory prickles—my mother’s voice, whispering a line from some book she kept by her bedside.
“All good things are wild and free, Tally.”
She’d say it when I sulked about our empty pockets and lack of possessions. She’d point to the fields and the birds and tell me I was richer than a king because I had the natural world as my playground, and a family as my haven.
“You get to run wild in the woods, make dams in the stream, watch all the birds. Those are riches that so many kids never have. And you have a family who love you unconditionally. I know you wish for more, Tally, but you’ve already got everything you need.”
I have an overwhelming urge to reach through the bars and hold Sky’s hand. This girl has never had what she needed.
Freedom, family.
I want to gather this kid up, make her part of my family. Make sure she’s never hurt again.
Pack.
The creature inside me is in agreement.
“Listen to me, Sky. I know things are messy right now. And I know I’m behind these bars.” I grip one of the iron uprights, wishing I had the strength to bend it. “But I’m getting better. I’ll keep you safe. I’ll do what I can, but until this cage is open, keep close to Layla, Dot and Rory.”
She’s silent for a moment, and when she speaks again it breaks my heart.
“Do you think life gets better, or if it’s bad…
it’s always bad?” Her small frame shudders.
“For people like me. People who are not brave. People who can get bossed around and don’t…
fight back.” When she finally meets my eyes, I see hers are filled with tears.
“I’m too weak for a happy life, aren’t I? ”
Fuck.
“NO!”
She huddles into her coveralls and I know I’ve come on too strong so moderate my tone.
“No, Sky.” Fuck. “The world is a fucking dick a lot of the time. It doesn’t matter if you’ve got balls the size of Dot, or if you are a little mouse.
The world doesn’t care. It’s a harsh and brutal place.
But the truth is…we’re not meant to get through life alone.
We are tribal people.” I’m riffing now, but I know where I’m going.
“You are meant to be part of a tribe, a pack. You’re a vital member.
Your role is not to be the fierce defender, your role is more… ”
OK, now I’m flailing.
Pack.
“Your part is as necessary as all the others. You bring joy and lightness to those around you. You care. You make people who are lone wolves…”
Lone wolves?
“You make lone wolves realize there is more to life than just fighting. There is family—and that’s what is important.”
I feel completely spent after getting that weird speech out. The words coming out of my mouth feel simultaneously foreign and…innate.
Fuck. Innate.
Before I can bring up her dreams again, she looks up at me with her big, scared eyes. “Er, Taliesin?”
“Yeah, Sky?”
“Do you think they’ll come for me? The people from the island?”
The wolf, or whatever it is inside me, snarls. “Over my dead body.” I mean it with every fiber of my being. This kid is the sister I never had. “While we’re in this shithole we’ll stick together, and once we’re out, I’ll find a place for you. For us. Me, you, Rory, Layla.”
“And Imran?” she asks.
Fuck.
“Yeah, Imran and Clay too, even though Clay’s feet smell like death. We’ll find a place where you don’t have to look over your shoulder, Sky. I’ll find a place where you won’t be hurt again, just like that lady statue would tell you.”
“I like the sound of that,” she sighs, but I can tell by her tone she thinks it’s just empty words.
“I promise you, Sky. I give you my word.”
She looks up again, her small hand briefly brushing my knuckles. “I…guess, if you say so. Rory promised too.”
“Rory? Then you’ve got the two meanest motherfuckers in Quo on your side. Your fate is unstoppable.”
She wrinkles her nose. “Rory’s not mean. She’s…nice.”
Nice? I don’t know if that’s a word I’d use to describe Aurora Drakeward. But the words I would use are not ones that this kid needs to hear.
Mate.
“Rory, nice?” I laugh. “Don’t you believe it.
” I lower my voice as if sharing a deadly secret.
“Don’t you know that that girl is an unholy terror?
Why do you think everyone moves out of her way in the yard?
They’re terrified she’ll start doing scary ballet and take them all down. Haven’t you ever heard her nickname?”
Sky’s brow furrows. “Layla calls her ‘Barbie.’”
I let out a laugh. “Oh, if only she were just a Barbie, Sky, but no. No.” I give her a serious look. “Listen carefully and I’ll let you in on a secret.”
My heart warms as Sky moves closer looking deadly serious.
“The Ballerina Butcher,” I whisper. “That’s her name, but be careful not to say it three times in a row, or she’ll appear in a tutu and pirouette you to death.”
This makes her giggle, which feels like a fucking win and I give myself a pat on the back.
“What’s so funny?” Lay demands, coming back in, now empty-handed.
I’m so beat, but I force my energy to keep flowing. “Just explaining to Sky that Rory is the baddest bitch in this place.”
“Barbie? Are you fucking kidding?” Her eyes narrow as she looks at the lingering grin on Sky’s face. “Last week, old Barbs stood on a cockroach, then apologized to it. That bitch is as bad as a bunny.”
“That’s just her cunning mask,” I say, meeting eyes with Layla. “Underneath the nice girl act, she’s a regular Cruella de Vil.”
Sky’s smile fades a little. “Who’s Cruella de Vil?”
“Fucking Dot is,” Layla mumbles under her breath.
Lay, like me, is also not a fan of Dot’s dog-breeding past. Ashgrave is a small city and word gets around.
“Come on, Sky, let’s split,” she says, “I don’t particularly want to be here when Frank-the-fuck gets back.”
“Yeah, you should go.” I don’t want that man around the kid. I made her promise, and I intend to keep it. Francois de Vaux is the opposite of safety.
Cub.
Cub, pack, protect.
As I watch Lay and Sky leave, a vow, heavy and vital, thrums in my chest.
Both of those girls are pack.
And I’ll destroy anyone who harms them.