Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Monroe
Three Months Ago
I’d taken my fair share of trips with my two best friends, though we hadn’t always ventured out of our hometown of Crossroads.
It was a mere four-hour road trip from the University of North Carolina we’d all gone to straight out of high school, but that was as far as we’d journeyed after turning eighteen.
Once we were away at school, we’d still visit home almost every other weekend.
Though shortly after our sophomore year, we decided it was time to take the bull by the horns and make our mark on the world.
That year for Spring Break, we went to Cabo.
Hawaii the following year during the summer, and we even traveled up north on New Year’s Eve, our senior year of college, to watch the ball drop in the middle of a buzzing Times Square.
Tennessee was our latest trip out of town, but it had been almost two years since we’d gone out to see my brother Theo play.
Florida had always been on my bucket list. For one, I loved the heat.
North Carolina is beautiful in the warm summer months, but Florida’s heat and humidity are a rare obsession of mine.
Second, there’s just something so freeing about the people there.
They lived in their own little bubble of bliss, and watching the hordes of tourists parading about was just what summer was all about.
The closest I’d gotten to a true summer vacation was out to the Outer Banks, but that coastal water differed from the clear, almost turquoise waves that ran up to Palm Beach. However, now I was back home in Crossroads, regretting having ever left in the first place.
What’s the saying? The journey was pleasure, but it brought me hell? I think it was quite the opposite, actually, but this version rang true for me.
The bright lights of the pharmacy bathroom blinded me as I stared up at the ceiling, pee stick in hand.
God, this was such an awkward process, though for some it brought them greatest joy in the world.
For me, dread filled me to my core. I was late.
Worse than that, I’d thrown up this morning after one sip of my morning latte and had to pretend I’d eaten some bad sushi the night before when my best friend Bailey ambushed me outside her cafe bathroom.
I immediately knew what was wrong, although I prayed it wasn’t so. It had been three entire weeks since my one-night stand with Jase.
The timer I set for three minutes startled me, making me toss the pregnancy test up into the air. I caught it before it hit the ground, my heart racing in my chest, nausea bubbling to the surface as I looked down at the positive result.
Pregnant.
The word stared back at me, mocking me as I blinked and tried to refocus my sight, currently blurred and obstructed by the tears forming in my eyes. My breath hitched, a sharp, painful stab in my chest, while my hands trembled, the stick tightly clutched between my fingers.
A cold sweat broke out on my forehead, despite the flush creeping up my neck and into my cheeks. My stomach churned, a nauseating wave threatening to overwhelm me from sheer disbelief and panic swirling within.
“No, no, no,” I whispered into the empty bathroom, which thankfully only had one stall.
I wasn't in Crossroads. I’d ventured two hours to a small town on the South Carolina border to make sure I wasn’t seen buying a pregnancy test by anyone I knew.
I prayed to the universe, hoping someone out there would hear me.
Hell, I’d even prayed to Jesus. He had to know I wasn’t prepared to be a mother, especially not to have a child with Jameson King.
“Everything okay here?” a voice beckoned from outside the door, forcing me to let out a hair-raising squeal. My heart hammered against my ribs, echoing the chaos in my mind.
“Yeah, almost out,” I said, dropping the stick into the trash bin beside the sink.
Oh God, what was I going to tell Bailey? How would I face her after what I’d done?
I’d spent the better part of three weeks trying my hardest to ignore my best friend, although we were in the middle of our bar's grand opening. When Bailey and I came up with the idea to open our own bar and tavern together one drunken night in college, it was a dream come true. I’d always struggled with finding my true calling, and when I’d changed my major from hospitality to interior design, with a minor in business administration, I knew owning multiple businesses and being my own boss was exactly what I wanted to do.
Monroe Avenue was the interior design business I’d created thanks to the support of my brother Monty’s construction company, Montgomery Builds.
Working alongside Monty gave me an influx of clients my first year and allowed me to establish myself as the best interior designer in all of Crossroads and its nearby neighborhoods.
I’d amassed a pretty decent and loyal client base, mainly tourists who’d come in to receive a quote from my brother and would find my business card tucked into the portfolio he’d provide them with.
We were a team, a great one at that, but something felt like it was missing.
I hoped to eventually branch out, have my own office space and potentially work with hotels and resorts all along the coast. In order to do that, I had to have an investment portfolio worthy of the work I wanted to accomplish.
That’s when Bailey came to me to invest with her.
Her business plan and ideas for Stingers Tavern were impeccably thought out, and it felt like the perfect opportunity to expand my business portfolio.
However, now that I was expecting and had recently invested tens of thousands of dollars in this passion project, I wasn't sure how I was going to make both of them work.
This is exactly what Jase meant when he said there was darkness inside of me that didn’t allow for any happiness to take root.
I was an overthinker in every way, a pessimist who always saw the potential negative outcomes of every decision I ever made.
Apparently, except for the one to sleep with Jase.
I’d meant to drive back to my house, and instead found myself on Billie’s doorstep.
My hands were shaking, the stupid pregnancy test tucked into my back pocket as I trembled in my boots.
After tossing it in the trash bin, I plucked it out, figuring I’d one day want a memento of the day I found out. I’d never been so nervous.
“Jesus,” Billie muttered as she opened the front door to the apartment she shared with her roommate Desiree. “You scared the hell out of me, Moe. I thought you were Desiree coming back to pick up her wallet, which she forgot to take again, not a robber here to kill me.”
I didn’t say a word. Didn’t laugh at her usual dramatics. I couldn’t. Not when tears were aching to be released. “Oh shit, Monroe, are you okay?” Billie asked, now aware of the look of terror I had on my face.
A wave of panic hit me hard in the chest when I heard Bailey’s voice from inside the apartment.
“Who is it, Bills?”
“I…” My voice was stuck in my throat. It burned so much. The need to scream from the top of my lungs what was happening to me was so strong, but fear held me back, forcing me to swallow the truth to avoid a bigger catastrophe. I couldn’t admit I was pregnant with my best friend's brother.
“Oh sweetie, come in. Let me get you some water,” Bailey said as she wrapped me in a warm embrace.
“By the looks of it, we might need something stronger.” Billie’s implication only made the tears come out harder and faster.
“Monroe, you’re starting to scare me.” Bailey was typically the one who could read the room, and I was sure my body language gave me away. “You’ve been acting weird for weeks. Since we arrived back from Miami. I wasn’t going to say anything, but…”
“B’s right, Moe. You’ve been avoiding us.”
“I haven’t, okay. I’ve just had a lot going on.”
Bailey squeezed my hand. “Okay, well, that’s why you have the two best friends in the world for. To support you with whatever you have going on.”
“Because if it's something more exciting, we need details. Juicy details.” Billie playfully nudged my shoulder, her usual levity a stark contrast to the concern etched on her face.
They were waiting, their gazes unwavering, and the weight I'd been carrying suddenly felt unbearable. The dam was about to break, the carefully constructed facade about to crumble. “So, spill it. Are we talking girl trouble, money trouble, or… something even more exciting?”
“I can’t continue to be a part of Stingers. I…I’m pregnant.”
My voice was barely a whisper, thick with fear and disbelief. The news, heavy and life-altering, seemed to surprise them more than I’d expected, and it was then that I broke down crying as I fell to the ground.
My thoughts and feelings were tangled up in a tight knot as I awaited my friends’ reactions, my sobs now contained to a sniffle.
Billie had just finished pouring a glass of wine for herself and Bailey and brought me over a hot peppermint tea.
The three of us sat there with no idea what to say or do.
My admission hung in the air, heavy and unexpected, shattering the playful banter and comfort I usually felt with my friends.
Billie’s jaw was tight, her usual sass momentarily eclipsed by shock.
Bills, ever the pragmatist, slowly exhaled, her brow furrowing.
Of course, she was the first to speak, unable to keep quiet any longer.
“Pregnant? Seriously? With whose kid?” The silence that followed felt thick enough to choke on. I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the inevitable storm of questions and accusations.
“Billie, what the hell?” Bailey shouted out to her. Her voice softened as she turned to me. “Monroe, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or scared with us. You know we love you no matter what.”
Bailey’s blue eyes sparkled with understanding.
My best friend was beautiful—they both were—and with that came a lot of judgement and expectation.
Jealousy from the women in town who not only despised her for her natural, god-given beauty, but for the kindness she held in her heart.
Bailey was selfless, understanding, and terribly empathetic.
It was a trait that got her into more trouble than not, but she wore it like a badge of honor.
I carefully set my steaming hot mug of tea down on the coffee table. “It’s true. I’m pregnant.”
The words tasted bitter on my tongue, but there was no point in denying what they were soon to discover on their own. It’s what I’d come here for. I knew the only way I would get through this was with my two best friends by my side.
Even then, I was still wary about what I would tell them and what I’d keep secret. For one, I couldn’t confess who the father was. Not yet, and I wasn’t sure if ever. Silence fell so fast it felt like the room exhaled and then forgot how to breathe.
“Only a few weeks, I think,” I continued. “I haven’t had an appointment to confirm it. I actually drove here straight from the pharmacy, where I took a test in its filthy bathroom.”
Bailey sat forward, her expression unreadable. “Who?”
“Some guy I hooked up with in Miami,” I said too quickly. “You don’t know him. I don’t plan on…”
“Monroe,” Billie said. “You have to—”
“You don’t have to decide anything right now,” Bailey interjected, eyeing Billie and telling her to stand down.
I know what Billie was going to say. That it wasn’t fair to keep the news to myself and not allow the father to know their child, but I wasn’t ready for any of that.
Not with the questions that were to ensue.
“I needed to tell you. I can’t carry this alone.”
Bailey reached for me and wrapped her arms around me. “You’re not alone.”
Billie joined a second later, the three of us hugged like we had so many times over the years.
Like we had in college when Bailey confessed my brother broke her heart when he left town ten years ago.
“Not even for a second,” Billie said, and for the first time since I found out the news, I didn't feel alone.
Bailey smoothed her hand down my back, assuring me she would be there for me. “You’re terrified.”
“I don’t know if I’ll be good at this,” I confessed, feeling way too vulnerable at this moment with the two people who knew me best. Better than my brothers, probably better than I knew myself.
“You will,” Bailey whispered. “Because you already love this baby. Because we already love this baby.”
I shook my head, fear creeping under my skin as I tried to visualize my future. Alone with a baby, not a clue what to do or how to care for it. Then there was Jase. How could I keep this secret when he was so close?
“I don’t even know how to love like that. Not really. Not after what I had growing up. I don’t want to mess this up.” My voice cracked, tears flooding me once more.
“Then don’t do it alone,” Billie said. “Do it with us.”
For the first time since I saw those two pink lines, I let myself cry in someone else’s arms. This was the beginning of everything changing, and the first time I believed I might actually be strong enough to become someone’s mother.