Chapter 10
Chapter Ten
Monroe
Past
He deserved to know. I knew that, but as I stared at him from across the bar, watching him interact with my brothers, slowly rebuilding the friendship he once had with Nash, I couldn’t bring myself to be the reason it all fell apart again.
The dating mixer was winding down. Drinks were half-empty, lights flickered overhead while someone sang off-key into the mic for the karaoke contest Billie had started after the band left for the night.
Despite the slow start, it was a great night, more fun than I’d had in a while. I was sitting at a table at the far end of the bar, ankles crossed, arms folded, looking as tired as I felt. Not only of the physical kind, but of the soul kind too. I was emotionally drained.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Jase scowling toward the hallway Bailey and my brother had walked off to earlier tonight.
We all knew there was something going on between the two of them, though it didn’t look like Jase approved.
Hypocritical if you ask me, since just last week, he’d offered to take me out on a date and explore whatever sexual tension that crackled between us.
As if he could sense me watching him, Jase looked my way, but I was quick to pretend I hadn’t been watching him like a creep. My phone buzzed, and I reached for it, nearly dropping it when I saw Jase’s name appear on the screen.
Jase: You look fucking breathtaking, Moonshine.
My skin prickled with goosebumps as I felt his eyes on me, though I was too chicken-shit to turn his way.
This back and forth between us was exhausting.
Neither of us wanted to admit how much we were craving each other, desperately needing to have another night like the one we did in Miami. However, the risk was too high.
When I didn’t respond, another message came in, followed by two more.
Jase: You have no idea how badly I wanted to carry you off that stage and hide you away to make sure no other asshole in this bar got to see what’s mine.
Jase: Because you’re mine, Monroe. Or will be soon enough.
Jase: All I have to do now is get you to believe it.
My fingers trembled as I read through his messages, desire coursing through me from how possessive his statements sounded.
He’d never been this bold, not the previous times he texted me with no avail.
I had no idea what to say or how to respond.
So I didn’t and instead tucked my phone back into the back pocket of my skirt.
Another few minutes went by, and I could still feel the heat of his gaze on me, suddenly too hot for me to ignore. When my eyes yet again met his and saw him walking toward me, I stood and quickly snuck out the side door.
The fresh night air hit me like a splash of cold water as I exited the bar, cooling the heat radiating off me from just one glance at Jase in tight jeans and a cowboy hat.
He wasn’t supposed to make me feel this way yet.
Just like he’d admitted to me, I couldn't stop thinking about our night together.
About the prospect of another and what that would entail.
Unlike him, I had an excellent reason to stay away.
I’d found him glaring at me all night, suspicion etched into the creases of his blue eyes. Or at least my guilty conscience imagined he was. I’d been careful to ensure he suspected nothing. No one outside my immediate circle of friends, or in my case triangle, knew about my pregnancy.
When he’d made a joke about my being pregnant when I ordered a Diet Coke from him last week, I all but lost it. He spent the entire week texting me, telling me we needed to talk, but I couldn’t face him, and then he suddenly stopped, and I figured maybe he let it go.
I was wrong.
I wasn’t showing. Nothing more than a small bloat that could be anything. Mostly, I dressed similarly to my usual style not to draw suspicion from anyone, unless I was around my brothers. Then it was a loose or slightly oversized sweater just in case they looked too close.
However, working on the remodel of the family ranch in itself kept me busy and away from prying eyes who loved to gossip and spread false rumors.
The only time I'd almost given myself away was when my brother Nash rode back into town and I threw up at the sight of him. That was fairly early on, and I was nearly passing my first trimester now. Luckily, Monty was clueless and would never have suspected I was expecting.
“I thought you’d disappeared too,” Jase said, startling me as he stepped out to join me, though his voice was soft, not the usual gruffness that made my knees weak. It’s as if he was being careful not to scare me away.
“I needed some air, seems to be the freshest out here,” I replied, still refusing to look his way. “And quiet.”
“You okay?” he asked, with a sincere interest in his tone. This version of Jase unnerved me because I didn’t know what to expect. I also didn’t know if it was genuine or if all he wanted was back in my pants.
I exhaled. “I don’t know how to answer that anymore.”
Jase moved closer, and my body immediately reacted to his nearness. Goosebumps covered my skin, and it had nothing to do with being outside. No, it was all Jameson King. “Want some company?”
My breath caught in my throat, while his intoxicatingly delicious scent made my knees weak as arousal spread to my core, forcing my thighs to clench.
I finally chanced a glance at him, but his expression was unreadable. “Depends,” I said. “Are you finally going to admit defeat and drop this ridiculous charade of asking me out you are stubbornly clinging to?”
He shoved his hands in his pockets and almost looked nervous, but the taunting smirk on his face was anything but. “For a moment.”
We stood in silence long enough to hear the crickets chirp beyond the hum of the music playing inside the bar, and I wondered if I had the courage to tell him the truth. I’d been debating it for some time, unable to sleep at night, my guilty conscience keeping me up.
Though Jase surprised the hell out of me when he said it for me.
“I know.”
A flush crept up my neck, tingling and warm, and I felt a nervous flutter in my stomach. It was a dangerous mix of anticipation and apprehension that made my palms sweat.
“What?” I stuttered, my voice breaking as I swallowed hard.
“I know,” he repeated. “About the baby.”
Everything stopped. My heartbeat was drummed out by the utter shock that befell me. The world stopped spinning as Jase looked straight into my eyes and saw the truth buried behind them.
He looked away for a second, down at his boots, then up again when I neither confirmed nor denied what he’d said.
His eyes were glassy but steady on me. “I’m not stupid, Monroe.
You don’t drink. You look tired all the time.
You’re avoiding me like I have the fucking plague or something.
Besides, I’ve heard you a few times in the bathroom over the last few weeks when you’ve come in.
It hadn't made sense before, but after the night you came into the bar, I knew something was up.”
This couldn’t be happening. Not here, not now. Not when I had no idea what I would say or do.
Sure, I’d replayed this exact moment in my head repeatedly, but I never expected it to occur when I wasn't ready. When I wasn't in control of the situation or my emotions, they were running wild. There was already so much in my life I'd lost control over, but this, this was the last straw.
A mental breakdown was coming. “Jase, I don’t know what you think you know, but I think it’s time for me to go.” My voice betrayed me as the lie caught in my throat. My desperate attempt at denial was useless. The truth was written all over my face.
He reached for me, his hand tightly wrapped around my forearm as he tugged me back. “Don’t try to deny it, baby. The look on your face gave you away.”
There was no point in further concealing the truth from him when I could see he wasn’t planning on backing down. So instead, I broke down, my guilt threatening to swallow me whole.
“I was going to tell you.”
He let out a sharp laugh, shocking me with the sudden hostility. “When? When you were in labor? Or when the baby turned eighteen?”
My throat was dry and constricted, nearly choking me as I gasped for air.
My vision blurred, a wave of dizziness washing over me, each breath shallow and ragged, like my lungs were struggling to draw in enough air.
A panic attack was typically what a doctor would call it.
They were few, but were nothing I was unfamiliar with.
“I don’t know,” I mumbled almost incoherently.
“Why not?”
I didn’t answer. He didn’t sound angry anymore, instead disappointed or rejected. That, in a way, was worse.
Jase pulled me closer, his arm snaking around my waist. I was suddenly shaking in his hold, the night had grown cooler in the last few hours but that wasn’t why.
It was the vibrating electricity that ran through me from his simple touch. The spark that set my body alight with arousal at his closeness was about to catch fire.
“Is it mine?” he muttered under his breath, but I heard it.
The world continued to spin, my mind falling deep into darkness as I tried to make sense of what he was asking. Just as quickly as they came, those sparks crashed and burned. His question and uncertainty somehow hurt more than they should have.
“You have some fucking nerve, Jameson King.”
With my hands on his chest, I shoved him away. Stepping back, he desperately ran a hand through his hair when he realized his mistake. “Shit, I’m sorry, Monroe. That came out wrong, but since you hadn’t said anything to me, I had to ask. I’m trying to stay calm.”
“You don’t have to. Yell, walk away, be furious. Tell me you don’t want this. I’d get it.”
His expression morphed into something darker, a sign of the brewing storm I was hoping he’d let out. Fury manifested as his jaw tightened, his hands clenching into fists at his side.