Chapter 12 #2
“I was never good enough for your family, Bailey.” I heard Nash say as his resolve weakened.
“Just a pity project much like they’ve turned Monroe into.
” My brother turned to look at me, worry, anger and a deep sadness in his eyes.
“We Bishops will never be seen as anything more than the fucking peasants we are to a King.”
The truth was Nash was right, because despite how horribly I knew Jase’s family would react to the news, I tried my best to get them to like me.
And now I was going to be part of their family whether or not they accepted me.
My eyes burned like never before as I watched my entire family fall apart before me.
We’d left the festival and were now gathered at Stingers, Monty’s arms wrapped around me tightly as I sipped on the cup of hot tea Billie had made me when we arrived.
It felt like a lifetime had gone by in just a mere thirty minutes, but I had cried out all my tears and had nothing left to give.
Billie’s hand rubbed my arm in a soothing, comforting way she couldn’t find the right words to do.
After she found Jase and me arguing outside of the bar last week, I’d confessed he was the father.
She’d urged me to come clean to everyone.
Secrets like this never stayed hidden for long, and when it all eventually came to light, it would explode just like it had tonight.
However, Billie wasn’t the type to say, ‘I told you so,’ and right now I was grateful she was willing to just be here for me.
Jase and Nash hadn’t stopped arguing until moments ago, when Nash and Bailey left upstairs to talk in private, leaving the rest of us down here to sulk in awkward silence.
“I should get you to bed,” Monty whispered into the top of my head, his warmth comforting me in a way it never had.
I couldn’t look at him though, too embarrassed to see the disappointment in his gaze.
I’d lied to my brothers and friends, hidden so much, and just like every truth revealed today, those secrets washed up onto our shores like merciless waves crashing down amidst a raging storm, drowning everyone in their wake. Unforgiving and relentless.
I nodded, unable to speak as I stood, but the moment he saw movement, Jase was by my side. “Monroe, we need to talk.”
His voice sounded troubled, his emotions barely letting him speak without breaking down.
Monty let out an incredulous snort. “Jameson, I knew you were an idiot but not fucking stupid. Back off. Tonight’s not the night.” Monty’s tone was cold as he spoke to Jase.
However, Jase didn’t cower at my brother's harsh tone. “Monty, you know I respect the shit out of you, but you don’t have a say in this.”
Monty scoffed as he stepped closer to Jase. “You’re talking to me about respect? After you’ve been sleeping with my little sister for God knows how long, and lied to my face.”
“You never asked—” Jase said, but Monty cut him off with another sharp laugh.
“Bullshit. That’s a pathetic excuse. What about when I asked you to watch over her when she was in your bar, because I knew the vile things men said about her? There you were, thinking the worst of them, acting on those thoughts.”
I grabbed Monty’s arm and squeezed, pulling him back.
“Monty, please let's just go.” I was utterly exhausted and couldn’t bear the thought of any more arguing tonight.
My legs throbbed, my head ached, and the rest of my body felt completely numb.
A complete mind-fuck of emotions and sensations I couldn't understand.
“She means more than what you’re thinking, than what I said.
” He runs a hand through his hair, looking more distraught than I’ve ever seen him.
“Monroe, please, I need to talk to you. You can’t leave like this,” Jase pleaded, nearly grabbing my arm, but Monty stepped between us again, laying a hand on his chest in warning.
The hurt in Jase’s eyes nearly killed me, and I knew he was right about us having to talk and figure this out, but it hurt too much. The words he’d said about us still rang in my head.
It didn’t mean anything.
I knew we couldn’t leave things like this, but I also didn’t know if I could face them right now.
The pain was raw and overwhelming. Along with everything else that had transpired tonight, I couldn’t physically push through it all.
However, I knew tomorrow wouldn’t be better.
It might be weeks before I could talk to him again.
With a sharp inhale of breath, I grabbed my brother’s bicep and forced him to look at me. “I’ll meet you guys outside. Jase is right. We need to talk some things out, and we need to do it in private.”
Monty grew stiff, his jaw clenched tight in disapproval. “I’m not leaving.”
“Monty, please,” I begged as Theo and Beau, who’d been standing at the edge of the bar talking, headed our way. “Either the three of you leave and wait for me outside, or I leave with him.” I really didn’t plan on leaving with Jase, but I know my brother’s needed a push to give me what I asked.
“Look, Monty’s right. This isn’t the place or time to have this discussion. I know there's a lot we need to figure out about the baby, about us. About what this means, but right now, my priority is keeping my baby safe, and that means I need some space.”
My brothers hesitate, their eyes flicking back and forth between Jase and me until Beau speaks. “She’s right,” he says, his voice aimed at Monty.
Monty doesn’t look pleased, but he also knows he has no other choice. I may not want to leave with Jase, but my stubborn ass will if I need to prove a point.
“We’ll be outside.” Monty groans, clearly not happy with his decision but understanding he has no other choice. “You have five minutes, King.”
The three of them spin on their heels and head out of the bar. Billie quickly follows behind them after giving me a tight hug that tells me she’ll be waiting too if I need her.
Jase doesn’t waste time, immediately speaking once they’ve left.
“Monroe,” he says, clearing his throat. “I can’t let you walk away, not like this.
Not with you thinking that what happened between us, what is happening between us, means nothing.
” I shake my head, unsure whether to believe him or not.
“I’ve told you I can’t stop thinking about you.
I want to be there for you and our baby. ”
“Things are easier said than done, Jase. There's so much history between us, so much hate between our families. This isn’t just about us. It’s about our baby’s future. Our siblings' futures. Nash and Bailey are in love, and that’s not changing because you think they betrayed you.”
His gaze moves to the hallway leading toward their apartment before returning to me. “I’m willing to leave it all in the past, to move forward with creating a future together. Just you, me and our baby.”
Everything he’s saying sounds genuine, but it’s also something I’m not sure I want.
It hurt me listening to him say what he did, not because I had caught feelings for him, but because I once again felt like I wasn’t good enough.
I know what happened between Jase and me was a mistake.
I knew it the morning after as I ran out of his hotel room, and I knew it today when he confessed it had meant nothing.
Yet a part of me, the annoying part that lay buried in my subconscious, daydreamed about the possibility of this becoming something more. That’s why it hurt so much—because of the false hope I’d nearly fallen victim to.
That is why I can’t let this situation get any more confusing than it already is.
“I don’t know if that’s what I want.” The look on his face makes me feel gutted.
Like I just punched him in the face with my words.
“I’d never keep your baby from you, Jase.
You will be a part of its life no matter what, but that doesn’t mean that we will be anything more than two people who have a baby together. ”
He takes a moment to process what I’ve said before he responds. “What if I want more?”
“I can’t speak for you, but I’m not sure I’m ready for more. I’ve barely wrapped my head around the idea of becoming a mother. I can’t be a girlfriend, a wife, any kind of partner when I don’t even know who I am anymore.”
“I know you’re strong, brave, and the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. And I know you’ll be an incredible mother.”
“In order to do so, I need some time to think.”
“Will you at least consider it?” I look at him slightly confused. “Moving in with me. I know saying we’d get married was stupid, but I want to be close to you and our baby. I don’t want to be an outsider getting a glimpse of what it’s like. I want to be on the inside every step of the way.”
“I’ll think about it, but I’m not making any promises, Jase. Goodbye.”