20. Open Mind
Chapter 20
Open Mind
Simone
“You sound different,” Alexandra’s voice on the speaker of my cell filled the apartment.
“I have you on speaker,” I said, spooning meat sauce into a lasagna pan.
“No… that isn’t it. I don’t want to say you sound unhappy, but there’s definitely something wrong. You’ve never been good at hiding things from me.”
My lips quirked to the side. “Nothing is wrong,” I fibbed. Rafferty joining the Devil Lancers would be all kinds of wrong to Alexandra. “I’m just tired. Growing another human takes it out of you.”
“You’re in the second trimester. You’re supposed to get your energy back right about now.”
I grinned. “That’s still a week or two away, Lex. And just to say, some women don’t get that extra burst of energy or whatever is supposed to happen.”
“Be optimistic, Simone. How was Augusta?”
“It was good. Steel’s house is so awesome.”
“Really?”
I fought an eye-roll. “Yes, really. Don’t sound so surprised. I mean, how great is your parents’ house?”
“Okay, you’re right.”
I laid lasagna noodles on top of the sauce. “Speaking of your parents’ house, you’d have loved his deck… or your dad would have, definitely.”
“Really?”
I nodded. “Only thing missing was beer taps, but his outdoor kitchen is seriously sweet.”
“I’m sure our pool is better.”
With a spoonula, I spread the ricotta and mozzerella cheese mixture over the noodles. “It’s debatable. Steel’s closest neighbor is five miles away.”
“Mm-hmm. It’s Wednesday, so how have things been now that you two are back?”
“Pretty good, I have to say. I love him.”
She went quiet. “You didn’t tell him that did you?”
I paused. “He said it first, Lex. To be fair though, I’d already started falling for him.”
“That fast?”
My brows drew together. “I wouldn’t call it fast.”
“Besides that one night, you’ve spent two weeks with him.”
I dipped my chin and grabbed the mozzarella cheese. “I’m also having his baby, which means we have to co-exist at a minimum, or we build on the initial spark of attraction.”
“Okay—”
I didn’t want to hear any words of caution. “He’s more than just the Devil Lancer President.”
“Of course, but—”
My hackles were rising and I fought against my irritation. “But what? He’s thoughtful, strategic, generous, and occasionally more logical than I’d like, but I’ve never felt this way with anyone else.”
“Felt what way? Are you sure it’s not hormones?”
I laughed. “I’m sure, Lex. He gets me, and I love that. He doesn’t judge me. That might stem from his maturity, but he’s just… the person I’ve been looking for even if I didn’t know it.”
She hummed and kept quiet. Then she said, “I’m glad you have that because my last two dates have been bullshit.”
I shook my head. “Do you even have time to date?”
“Not really. One was a guy from my statistics class – that was a dud. The other was someone Ines introduced me to, but he’s more interested in Ines. He’s just too damned scared to say so.”
“That sucks. I’m sorry, Alexandra.”
“It’s okay. Is Steel an eight-to-five kind of man, and you’re just seeing him when he’s done with club business? Or does his club business extend into the night?”
“He’s normally home for dinner, but I suspect that will change as…” I trailed off realizing I was probably sharing too much.
“As what?”
“As he puts the chapter back together, but I didn’t tell you that.”
She scoffed. “Who am I gonna tell?”
“You know how secretive bikers can be. How’s rooming with Ines?”
After a pause, she chuckled. “Let’s just say I’m getting used to the scent of burnt bagels.”
“I’d have never guessed that about her.”
“That makes two of us. Are you hanging out with your brother, since he’s home for Spring Break?”
I smiled. “I’m having dinner with him, my parents, and Steel tomorrow night.”
She choked. “Did you say Steel’s gonna be there too? Does he have a death wish?”
“Mom said she’d keep an open mind,” I said, spreading another layer of sauce onto the lasagna.
Alexandra laughed. “Yeah, open to ways she can take him out.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t helping, you know.”
“I’m sorry. It’ll be fine, just make sure everyone leaves their guns at the door.”
“Alexandra.”
“That’s the last joke, I promise. But you better call me Friday. I want to hear how this goes. I’d call Bobby, but he’ll give me like two-word answers, and I need more than that.”
I wanted to change the subject to Rafferty so bad, it wasn’t funny, but I couldn’t do that without running my mouth about the Devil Lancers. Instead, I said, “Well, you call me on Friday. I never know when you’ll be out and about, Miss Social Butterfly.”
“Far from it, but I’ll check in. Later, Simone.”
I hit the button to end the call and finished layering the lasagna.
The door opened and Steel came inside. “Hey, Steel.”
He sauntered to me. “Hey, yourself. Is that lasagna?”
I smiled. “Yep.”
“I fucking love lasagna. I hope yours is good.”
I tilted my head. “I like to think so. Mom’s mom was Italian, and I make the sauce from scratch.”
His eyes widened. “Well, shit. If I hadn’t already told you I loved you, I’d tell you now.”
My head shook while I tore off a piece of aluminum foil and wrapped the pan. “You definitely know how to make a girl feel special.”
He wrapped his arms around me. “Oh, I’m gonna make you feel special all right. Let’s hit the bedroom, this can wait.”
My jaw dropped open. “No, it bakes for an hour and a half. Once I put it in the oven, I’ll have that much time to be with you.”
His hands traveled down to my ass and gave me a squeeze. “You better, Jade.”
Thursday afternoon, Dad drove his GMC Acadia and picked me up at the apartment. He didn’t come inside because it was closing in on four o’clock and he wanted to beat the worst of the early rush hour traffic on Blanding Boulevard.
“You and the baby are okay?” he asked after I buckled my seat belt.
Reflexively, I rubbed my belly. “As far as I know, but I go to the doctor next week.”
He nodded. “That’s good to hear.”
Once we were on I-295 he turned down the volume on the radio. “I’m not gonna harp on this, but I wanted more of the civilian life for you.”
I turned and took in his profile. His goatee had more gray. “Why? That’s what I don’t understand. You and Mom love the life and the brotherhood.”
His lips twisted for a moment. “Sure, but there are things that come with the life – extra police attention, and even if you dodge that there’s plenty of other judgmental assholes out there.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Who cares? Fuck ‘em. They aren’t living my life, I am.”
He chuckled and blew out a sigh. “Jacqueline was right. You are my daughter, but saying that doesn’t change how hard it can be looking over your shoulder all the time.”
“You don’t do that now,” I muttered.
“Are you kidding me? I’ve done it more the last two weeks because you’re with Steel.”
I gave him a sideways glance. “I’m with Steel, not you. That sounds like paranoia.”
Dad gave a conciliatory nod. “To a degree, you’re right and that’s what I didn’t want for you.”
We were silent for a while as we rode up San Jose Boulevard. We crossed Goodby’s Creek and I realized how close we were to their house. “Are you going to be cool tonight?”
He took his time before answering. “I’ll deal with him being in my house, and, yeah, I’ll be cool.”
I nodded. “And Mom? You won’t let her goad you into anything?”
He grinned. “No, I won’t, but she hates this more than I do.”
Typical. They were playing this off each other.
“If you say so.”
“Have you seen Rafferty lately? He wasn’t around this weekend.”
I glanced out the window as we entered the Lakewood area. “I haven’t seen him since just after Bike Week,” I lied.
Dad said nothing to that and a few minutes later we pulled into the drive. We both got out and I noticed a truck headed our way. Steel sat behind the wheel of his Nissan Titan wearing his wrap-around sunglasses.
Dad sidled up to me. “Are you sure about him, pumpkin?”
“Very.”
Dad didn’t hide his grimace as he hissed, “Shit.”
Steel pulled the truck into the drive, powered it off, and unfolded from the vehicle. He met Dad’s gaze. “Do you mind me parking in your drive or should I move to the street?”
Dad shook his head. “You’re fine there.”
Steel lifted his chin and tucked one arm of his shades into his shirt. He came to my side, slung his arm over my shoulders, and kissed my cheek. “You doing okay?” he whispered at my ear.
I nodded. “I’m good, honey.”
“Good,” he whispered.
Dad watched us for a beat. Then he turned on his heel and called over his shoulder, “Come inside. Not sure what time the food will be ready, but we can have a beer.”
“You can,” I muttered.
“When do you have your first ultrasound?” Mom asked ten minutes into dinner.
I swallowed hard to keep from choking. Part of me suspected Mom had planned this inquisitive ambush, but that might have been stretching things since it was a valid question. The halfway point of my pregnancy was in three days.
After a sip of water, I said, “Next week, assuming the schedule doesn’t change.”
Mom’s eyes darted to Steel. “Are you able to go with her? If not, I can—”
Steel moved his hand from his lap to my thigh and gave me a squeeze. “I’m definitely going to be there.”
Her eyes held Steel’s and she nodded. “That’s good to hear.” She looked at me. “Can you have more than one person with you?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll have to call the office tomorrow and find out.”
Bobby pointed his fork at me. “If you’re having a boy, name him Robert.”
Even though my brother was impervious to my pointed, dry expressions, I gave him one anyway. “I’m thinking Steel might have ideas about that, Robert .”
Bobby aimed remorseful eyes at Steel. “Sorry.” He looked back to me. “I’m just saying, don’t give your kid a biker name.”
I blinked at him feeling embarrassed.
Steel laughed, though. “Your Dad and I both have regular civilian names for all the good it does us. Got a feeling it won’t matter what we name the baby.”
Bobby nodded. “I mention it because Killian told me about the crap he put up with in school with his name and other kids finding out his dad’s in a club.”
Dad shook his head. “That’s no reason to give a kid a normal name, Robert. Kids are gonna find ways to single others out no matter what. I’m sure dealing with that built Killian’s character.”
“Or his familiarity with the principal,” Mom murmured.
Dad caught my gaze. “Are you going to find out what you’re having?”
“No,” Steel said.
At the same time, I said, “Yes.”
Steel looked at me. “Why?”
I laughed. “Being pregnant has been as much of a surprise as I can handle. I want to know everything I can about this baby. Why do you want it to be a surprise?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “Life’s full of surprises, but this is one of the happiest surprises you can get… and I suppose it doesn’t matter to me one way or the other. The point of that ultrasound is to make sure the baby’s healthy. I don’t care if it’s a girl or a boy.”
Dad looked down at his plate. “You’ll care if it’s a girl.”
My head whipped toward Dad. “What?”
Dad tipped his head up. “I’ve worried about you since the moment we saw you on the ultrasound.”
Mom grinned at Steel. “I bet that’s really why you don’t want to know. You won’t have to start worrying until you hold a little girl in your arms.”
Steel sipped his beer. “It’s not my first experience with a baby being born. I figure there’s plenty of time for the worrying to begin. Right now, she should just enjoy the ride.”
Bobby swallowed a bite of garlic bread. “I thought Jordan isn’t yours.”
I tilted my head back wondering how the hell he’d found that out.
“Bobby,” Mom said in a reprimanding tone.
He had the gall to look offended. “What? Jasmine told me—”
“And you should know to keep some shit to yourself, son,” Dad said.
With a patient smile, Steel shook his head. “It’s all right, Volt.” He cocked a brow at Bobby. “Your dad’s right, though. You’re better off not letting people know how much information you have on them. As for Jordan, the DNA doesn’t matter. I was there in the early years… hell, I was there after, even if his mom kept him from knowing I was around.”
Bobby’s brows furrowed and his lip curled up. “She did?”
Steel nodded. “Yeah. It’s messed up, but that’s life. Bottom line, I’d like to be part of Jordan’s life, but that won’t happen if he doesn’t open his mind.”
“How did you find that out, anyway?” Bobby asked.
“Oh my God, are you eight or eighteen, Bobby?” I asked.
He glared at me. “It’s a valid question. How does he know that bit—woman didn’t do something else to scam him?”
Steel tipped his head to the side. “My dad died seven months ago. He was serving time in jail. He got sick, didn’t get to the doctor until things were advanced. In the hospital, they discovered prostate cancer. They didn’t even get to treat the cancer before he developed pneumonia and passed away. I wanted Jordan to attend his funeral.
“Since Jordan never took my calls, I had no idea if he would have read a text.”
“He wouldn’t,” I muttered without thinking.
Steel nodded. “Right. I went to Debra to explain things. She’s bitchy with me most of the time, but that evening, she was drunk on top of it and she let it fly that Jordan wasn’t mine.”
“Are you shitting me?” Dad asked, outrage lacing his tone.
Steel’s eyes cut to him. “No.”
“I should have let her have it last weekend,” I said.
“You met her?” Mom asked.
I shrugged.
Steel kept speaking. “I thought she was lying and said so. Deb’s always had to have the last word with me., She dug a file out with a paternity test.”
“Wait,” Bobby cut in. “She had the test done?”
Steel nodded. “She’d been cheating on me. When she turned up pregnant, she didn’t know who the father was. In her mind, it was supposed to be an insurance policy.”
“But it shows someone else is the dad?” Bobby asked.
“Right. It backfired on her, but at twenty, I was a moron. Had no idea she was cheating. Found that out five years later. Should have put it together at that point, but I didn’t.”
Bobby’s eyes were wide.
I tipped my glass at him. “This is why you have to be careful who you date.”
He arched a brow. “Because you were so careful yourself.” His eyes slid to Steel. “No offense.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, Steel sat a little straighter. “That wasn’t her fault. A woman hanging around the clubhouse heard me lose my temper about Debra trapping me. That bitch tried to do what Deb hadn’t. Problem was, she didn’t expect me to be with anyone outside the club.”
The hum of the fridge filled the room, such was our awkward silence.
Dad exhaled and looked at my brother. “That’s an example of why you keep your info to yourself, Rob. No disrespect intended, Steel. I can’t imagine I’d have reacted any better.”
Steel’s hand still rested on my thigh. I put my hand over his and gave it a squeeze. “I’m sorry you lost your dad.”
He dipped his chin and locked eyes with me. “Thanks, Jade.”
A mixture of love, gratitude, and wonder filled his eyes. I loved how expressive his eyes were.
“Why do you call her that?” Mom asked.
Steel’s eyes moved to Mom. “The necklace she wore when I met her was a ring of jade with a dragon. The look on her face when she sat down, she looked jaded. It suits her. Plus, calling her anything besides her real name keeps her safe.”
Mom arched her brows at Dad. “I told you her birthstone would have been a better idea.”
Steel burst with laughter. I fought a grin while my cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
We sped down San Jose Boulevard. “When were you going to tell me about your appointment?”
“Later tonight. It was just pregnancy brain that kept me from telling you sooner.”
He grabbed my hand. “I’m not reprimanding you or mad. Just wanted to be sure you were going to include me.”
After what he’d shared tonight, there was no way I’d ever cut him out.
I gave his hand a squeeze. “I’m definitely including you. I hope it doesn’t interfere with club business.”
He picked up our hands and gave them a small shake. “I’ll make it work, woman.”
“I’m sorry my brother has zero manners.”
The truck cab filled with the sound of his deep chuckle. “It’s all good, Simone. It’s crazy but I’m pretty sure it made your parents see me differently.”
I nodded. “Yeah. What was so funny about Mom’s comment on my necklace?”
He grinned at the windshield. “Jackie thinks that a different necklace wouldn’t have gotten my attention. The reality is I’d have been drawn to you regardless.”
“Yeah.”
“I also love irony, and it seems to me your parents giving you that necklace pushed us together. It reminded me of jewelry I’d seen at Bike Week.”
“Fate is a crazy thing.”
“Yeah, and it’s part of what makes life fun.”