6. Logan
logan
It’s been two weeks since our meeting with the lawyer, and everything is going relatively smoothly. Thea was nervous about it all, rightly so, but I’d reassured her that everything was going to be fine.
As far as her ex went, I half wanted him to show up and try to make a scene. I’ll be glad to take care of that problem once and for all if he did.
From what it sounds like, he preyed on her during a vulnerable time. Which was all the proof I needed to know he was a real-life piece of shit.
“Hey, when are you gonna get that bay ready for the show?”
I sigh and hang up the halter outside of said bay’s door. I didn’t have a name for him just yet, so we just call him Bay because that is his coloring. It wasn’t really original.
“I don’t know.” I glance up at CT, who’s got a cocky grin on his face. “When are you going to actually compete instead of lollygagging around? ”
He screws up his face. “‘Lollygagging?’”
“What? Like you haven’t been setting yourself on simmer since you started showing again.”
He knew it was true.
When Dani and CT were broken up, CT threw himself into the cattle ranching side of the business, not the showing he did back when his mom was around, before she tragically passed away from cancer nearly seven years ago.
When my cousin, Dani, needed him again to help get her horse ready for her own showing, he’d stepped back into the arena and showed again.
But not at the same caliber he used to, and we all knew it, too.
“I’m showing this year, dipshit.”
“Yeah, but are you going for it, or are you just passing time while Dani actually competes?”
He had returned mostly just so he could be close with her again, and while she was taking it seriously, putting her all into it, he was merely existing around the sport.
“Things are good,” CT said, rubbing a rag over a rein. He was meticulous about keeping his equipment clean, and in between clients and other work, he could be found right here, cleaning tack. “I’m feeling good about this season.”
I nod, knowing that underneath those very few words, my friend was telling me he was healing.
It had taken a lot for him to get to this space. He started attending therapy last year, taking the extra step to better himself to be the man he wanted to be for my cousin.
I clear my throat. “Bay is almost ready. But I don’t know about that reining shit, maybe cutting. ”
He nods. “Yeah, I figured you’d puss out on reining. Not everyone is skilled enough for it.”
I step toward him and throw a half-hearted punch to his stomach. He dodges me just barely, dropping the rag and turning to return one.
We go back and forth, shuffling in the alleyway for a minute when we hear someone clear their throat.
I glance up toward the sound and see Thea standing there, smiling at the sight of us. “Sorry.” She shrugs sheepishly. “Am I interrupting?”
I shove Cade off me and stand straighter, readjusting my hat. CT does the same and smiles at Thea. “Just trying to keep Logan in his place. How you doing, Thea?”
“I’m good, CT.” She grins at me for a moment, and I find myself slightly dumbstruck.
Despite the fact I am helping Thea out of the kindness of my heart, there was still a major part of me that wished everything we were doing was for another reason.
I step toward her, my tall frame shadowing hers, and give her a smile. “What are you doing out here?” My thoughts turn, and my smile drops. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah.” She waves a hand at me, scoffing. “I’m, uh, I’m good. I just was wondering if we could talk. Maybe walk somewhere?”
I can tell that her nerves are on edge, and I want to do what I can to set her straight. I glance to the side at the horse who is staring at us out of their stall window. “I have a better idea.”
“Um, Logan? I don’t know if this is a good idea.” Thea regards me carefully, looking at the now-saddled horse with uneasy eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” I step up to the horse, tightening his cinch to make sure the saddle is ready and won’t tip as we step on. “Here.” I reach a hand out for her to grab, and she eyes it for a moment. I hold my breath, hoping that she trusts me enough to get on the horse with me.
I see her take a deep breath, and then she slips her hand into mine.
“Okay, so put your left foot in the stirrup.” I help her get her foot there and stand behind her, admiring her for a moment before I get my head back on straight.
The thoughts running through my head are not what she is here for.
“Now, reach up and grab the horn with your left and the cantle with your right.”
“What the heck is a cantle?”
I smile against the back of her head. “The part your butt rests against.”
“Oh.” I hear her breathing as she does as I tell her to.
“All right, now, push off with your right foot.” She does so, and I help lift her up. “Swing your leg over,” I tell her, but it’s unnecessary. She gets on the horse like she’s done this a million times. I eye her suspiciously, and she looks down at me.
From where we’re standing, the sun hits her back just right, making her glow. I clear my throat. “You’ve done this before?”
Her expression changes to shock. “No! I’ve never even been on a horse before. I’m terrified!” Judging by the tight grip she has on the horn, I would say this is her being genuine.
“Here, move this.” I tap her left calf, and her foot covered in a white sneaker pops out of the stirrup. Stepping in, I quickly haul myself over the horse, settling in right behind the saddle and gripping the reins with my hands.
“Put your foot back in.”
“You can ride without using the saddle at all?”
With her back now pressed against my front, the only thing separating us is the cantle. I lean forward and say against the back of her hair. “Baby, I don’t need a saddle for a proper ride.”
Instead of being affected like I hoped, Thea snorts and lets out a laugh, carefully containing it.
And instead of being offended, I smile because making her laugh may have just become my all-time favorite thing.
We ride up into the mountains, a ride I’ve done multiple times in my lifetime. I grew up a few miles away from the Three Rivers Trevors Ranch—previously just called the Trevors Ranch—and as kids, my brothers and I would come with Dani to ride with the Trevors all the time.
It is a small town, and our allotted friends were a small bunch, but the friendships we made were fierce and strong.
CT is one of those people who showed his loyalty rather than spoke it. He’s always defended what was his, and after last year, I was certain he would keep on defending our family for life.
The spring weather was finally picking up, letting the sunshine in through the trees and down into the valleys of the mountain. It was chilly enough that I had to wear my vest and long sleeves still, and Thea had on a warm-looking hoodie, keeping the chill off.
However, as we moved, the slight breeze gave us the chills enough that I found my arms that were around her to guide the horse, wrapping in tighter, holding her a little more firmly.
It wasn’t completely necessary .
But then again, neither was this ride. Neither was her coming here to see me or agreeing to said ride.
I couldn’t put my finger on what was happening, all I knew was that something was.
I can’t tell if it was something I was ready for or not, but I’ve never felt like this about a woman in my life. And I certainly have never held myself back like I did with Thea.
Thinking on it, I know that I don’t want to scare her off or broach the subject when she is going through what she is.
Right now, I am the only one she trusts enough to keep her secrets, to help her through her vulnerable time.
This fact meant a lot to me. It wasn’t foreign to me to be the one people relied on.
My mom relied on me after my father left years ago to help raise up the boys and keep them in line. My brothers relied on me if they got into trouble and didn’t want to tell Mom about it or if they needed advice. Lue relied on me for literally everything.
Although, I frown to myself, it seems I rely on her a little bit too.
I was still thinking about what my mom told me about Lue not hanging out with friends because her dear old dad was lonesome.
I need to fix that too.
Now Thea was relying on me. For some reason, this seemed like a bigger deal than almost any other time, and I can’t put my finger on why.
My horse climbs until we hit a ridge that overlooks the property we just came from, and I hop off, taking Thea down after. She grabs on to my shoulders and lets me hold her for a minute when her feet touch the ground .
Her eyes meet mine, and I swear her eyes go to my mouth before she smiles shyly and turns away.
“Oh, wow.” Her voice is breathless, and I tie up my horse before going behind her, staring out at the view. It was a hell of a view to be sure. “This is fantastic.”
“Yeah, this is my favorite spot.”
“It’s a good place to get away.” She crosses her arms, her gaze looking out and mine stuck on her face.
We stand for a moment in silence, taking in the scene, the fresh air and the quiet of the moment, watching as the sun descends behind the mountains. We can’t stay for too much longer, or we’ll be a little vulnerable out here.
“So.” I clear my throat. “Was there some reason for this great surprise?”
Thea turns to me and smiles. “Oh, yeah. I guess so.” She reaches into her crossbody bag and pulls out some papers. “This is from the lawyer. Your copy of everything. I didn’t think you’d want to explain everything to CT, so I was going to give it to you in private.”
I take the papers, but I don’t look at them. “Thanks. You doing okay with everything?”
Thea takes a deep breath and looks out over the mountains. She shrugs. “It is what it is, but I have to say.” She pauses and bites her lip, a slight blush rising in her cheeks.
“What is it?” I ask with a grin. The side of Thea I was used to seeing is the no-bullshit side, the bar owner who took nobody’s shit, the one who stood up for everyone else.
But what I was seeing now is the side that is about her, and when she is dealing with shit about herself, it seemed that she is shy about it.
“I’m really grateful to have you at my back for this. ”
My chest swells with pride I don’t deserve to have. But it comes down to the fact that she trusts me, that she put her faith in me to help her overcome a difficult situation.
“I would do anything to help you, Thea.”
Her eyes meet mine, trying to puzzle something out. “Why is that?”
I shrug and look back at the view. “When I figure it out, I’ll let you know.”
But that wasn’t the whole truth, and frankly, it was the first time I felt like I’ve lied not only to her, but to myself.
I knew why I was doing this.
I just wasn’t ready to admit that to myself.