11. Thea
thea
My nerves were on fire. Looking back on it, I don’t remember a time when I was ever this nervous. Even when Eric and I got married, I wasn’t this nervous.
I should have taken that as a sign.
I glance down at my slimming black jeans and flowy tank top. It was fancier than I usually wore, and that was likely why I felt eyeballs drilling into the side of my head at this moment.
“Do you think something’s wrong?” I hear Juniper stage-whisper to Annmarie.
“I don’t know. Midlife crisis, maybe.”
“She’s so dressy. Are we supposed to start dressing like that?”
“Could be. But…I’m not going to.”
“Me either.”
“Could you two maybe stop pretending you’re talking behind my back and get to work?”
“Where are you going?” Juniper asks, coming to perch herself on the bar near where I’m standing, her back to the dining room.
“I’m just…going out tonight.”
“I thought you took yesterday off.”
“June, she can take more than one night off,” Annmarie scolds, and not for the first time, backs me up as almost a co-parent to our little sister.
“I know that.” Juniper frowns and looks back at me. “I’m just worried. You never take off two nights. Are you okay?”
I smile at my compassionate sister. She was the one who was always worried about everyone else, the one who would put aside everything that she was doing to help someone in need.
“I’m fine, baby sister. Did you talk to Phee?” Ophelia was hard to get a hold of these days, her college career taking all of her time. But we try to keep up with what she’s doing.
“Yeah, she’s taking too many classes and getting tired.”
I frown and look at her. “Okay. I’ll talk to her.”
Annmarie shrugs. “At least she’s responding. Astoria ignored me today and yesterday.”
My frown remains intact. Astoria was a free-spirited, yet stubborn, girl. She had no qualms about going off the grid for months at a time, traveling all around different countries, abandoning technology for new cultural experiences.
I didn’t blame her for it. When our parents passed, we’d all taken it differently, all had roles to play. And when I married Eric, she’d been pissed. She never liked him, and when things went south, she told me, “I told you so.” And promptly disappeared.
I let out a slow breath. “Try again tomorrow.” It’s the best thing I can offer her.
Annmarie nods. “So, where you headed? ”
But, before I can answer her question, the door jingles open, alerting us and our few patrons to a newcomer, and when I look over, my breath catches in my throat.
Logan stands there, a clean and sharp straw hat on his head, his hair tucked neatly behind his ears. He’s got a dark-blue, long-sleeve button-down on, tucked into his jeans, and shiny brown boots on his feet.
And his eyes are on me.
I feel myself flush and reach down, grabbing my handbag.
“Oh. Now it all makes sense,” Annmarie says, grabbing a toothpick and sticking it in her mouth. She clicks her tongue. “Mr. Cowboy got all fancy for ya.”
“You’re dating Logan Cash?” Juniper asks, her tone bewildered.
“I’m…” I find myself at a loss for words. “Just trying something out.”
Annmarie wiggles her brows. “Oh, I bet you are.”
I scoff at her. “Like Stetson isn’t totally infatuated with you?”
She shrugs. “He’s barking up the wrong tree.”
“Hello, ladies.” We all simultaneously turn to Logan, and he smiles broadly at us. “How are you doing tonight?”
“Oh, we’re great, Mr. Cowboy. How are you?” I roll my eyes at Annmarie.
Logan’s eyes twinkle at me. “I’m doing fantastic.”
“I didn’t know you were dating my sister,” Juniper blurts out, her eyes on him.
“June!” I scold, hiding my face with a hand. I feel a hand wrap around my elbow, and when I open my eyes, Logan is right there next to me, having come around the bar.
“I finally wore her down,” he says with ease, as if this is a normal, everyday conversation .
“Good for you,” Juniper says, her voice kind. She looks at me, and I see some sort of hope brewing there. She was there for my last failed relationship. I can see she’s hoping I haven’t picked a rotten apple twice in a row.
“Are you ready to go?” Logan asks, his arm now wrapped lightly around my lower back, his face tipped down to mine.
“Yes,” I answer, my voice far too breathless for my liking.
Logan makes me feel unhinged. He makes me act like a high school girl excited to go to prom, not a grown woman with a business and a family to take care of.
And yet, I can’t seem to help how he makes me feel or act.
“Okay, ladies, I won’t bring her back too late,” Logan says with a wink and then hauls me out the door. When I look back, Juniper’s jaw is hanging open, and Annmarie is smirking before she snaps a towel at my sister.
Maybe Logan doesn’t just affect me.
“I hope this was okay. I wanted to go somewhere out of town,” Logan says from across the booth.
“This is great,” I reply, taking a glance at the menu. He drove out of Acton and Fall Springs to another town that has a small shopping center and some restaurants. We ended up at a steakhouse that I thought was good, though I don’t frequent it very often.
“I guess I should have asked if you wanted to eat at your place.” Logan frowns, as if this thought never occurred to him, and I hurry to assure him.
“Oh no. I never would have been able to relax with my sisters right there or work to be done. I’d have been getting up and busing tables or something in between questions.” I laugh, and Logan grins at me.
“Good. Great, that’s great.” He nods his head, his hair flopping down against his forehead now that his hat isn’t holding it back. It was adorable, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
Maybe later.
“So, how is Lue?” I ask, almost wishing she were here. When we had dinner last night, it had been easy. But she had filled every silence there could have been with her easy banter.
He grins at me. “Lue is great. She had her audition today, so we should finally find out if she got the part she wanted soon.”
“Oh, good.” I smile. “She’s so talented. She had me believing every word out of her mouth.”
“She is,” he replies fondly. “I can’t tell you how grateful we were that you came over and helped her out. She wouldn’t stop talking about it.”
“Oh.” I wave my hand. “It’s not a big deal. She’s a great kid.”
“She is,” he agrees, his head bent down slightly.
The waitress interrupts, and we get our food order placed. After she leaves and takes the menus, there’s nothing left to distract us from talking.
“So.” I laugh nervously. “How do these fake dates usually go?”
His eyes lock onto mine, and I feel myself blush slightly. “I’ve never been on a fake date before.”
“Oh, right.” I clear my throat, folding my napkin over and over in my lap. “Me either.”
Silence descends between us, and I start people-watching, feeling incredibly awkward all of a sudden. Logan’s never made me feel awkward. Maybe we should just stick to being friends, we’re good at friendship .
“Hey,” he says, tapping the table in front of me. “How about we just do what we’d do on an actual date? Instead of forcing the fake part.”
I blink at him and try to decipher his words. “An actual date?”
Logan sits up straighter and looks at me head on. “Yes. An actual date.”
“I…” Trying to figure out if he means act like we’re dating or be on an actual date together, it takes a minute for me to get words out. “Okay.” Yeah, real eloquent.
“Great.” He grins at me again and sits forward, resting his arms on the table and bending forward. I mimic the pose, hoping that I’m doing, well, anything right.
“So, how was your day?”
I laugh a little at his simple question. “Um, good?” I chuckle. “How was your day?”
“My day was great. I got up and got Lue to school on time, which is always a great start to the day, then I went to work and gave CT shit for a while, then I helped Dani install some new equipment for her equine therapy stuff. Then I rushed home, got cleaned up, dropped Lue off at her friend’s house, and picked up the most beautiful woman for a date,” he finishes with a confident smile.
I blink at him for a second before chuckling again. “Wow. Sounds like a successful day.”
“Well, the success of the day is to be determined.”
“Oh? By what?”
He looks at me, a little gleam in his eye. It makes me wonder what he was like as a kid, and I bet he was just a little bit ornery back then.
“By the way this date ends, of course. ”
“And how do you want it to end?” I ask, inching forward slightly.
“Well, it could end with a nice hug when I drop you off, I could say it was fun, that I had a good time, and you would reciprocate. Or.” He stops and rubs a finger over his lip, as if he’s thinking hard about it.
“Or?” I ask impatiently, my heart beating overtime.
“Or,” he starts again, a little smirk starting at the corner of his mouth.
“I could pull you close, give you a hug, and hold you for a minute.” He pauses, his hand drops, and his eyes move from mine to my lips.
“Then I could lean in close and kiss you just like I’ve wanted to do for the last three years. ”
I blink in surprise, shocked by his admission.
Here I was, coming on this date, thinking how it was so weird to go on a fake date with him when he was helping me out so much. How I was just going to keep him company, so Lue didn’t feel tied down.
And he…he was taking this seriously.
My stomach riots with butterflies, and I give him a small, shy smile. “Well, I suppose we’ll have to see how good your conversational skills are.”
He grins a wicked grin. “I suppose we will.”
“You did not!” I laugh, punching Logan’s shoulder as he pulls up to my apartment complex. I’d walked from the apartment to the restaurant for him to pick me up since I had to do some work before our date.
“I did too. I thought, man, she is a busy know-it-all.” He laughs with me, parking his truck and turning the engine off. Silence envelops us. I’m turned slightly in my seat to stare at him, and he turns his head to look over at me.