16. Logan
logan
I was pretty sure I was going to murder my baby brother.
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that he’s here to help me out. But the problem is he is always here helping.
It’s been three days since I was released from the hospital, and being stuck at home, unable to work or do basically anything, was going to make me insane.
I had to look out the window longingly at the frame of the garage I am building, knowing I couldn’t go out there and work on it.
I also knew that those frisky young horses I was working with were just building up the energy and orneriness to torture me with when I went back to work next week.
CT assured me he and Stetson were keeping them exercised, and that eased my nerves a little, but I felt guilty that other people were taking on my work for me.
Like driving Lue to school. Because of the concussion, I am not supposed to drive until I get cleared when I go to the doctor next week. So, Mom and Stetson were taking turns getting her to and from school and rehearsal.
And I was stuck.
“Honestly, man, there’s nothing good on TV when it’s not football season.”
“Maybe you need a hobby,” I comment, glaring at my arm. Then glaring makes my head hurt, so I have to stop myself from continuing to hate the thing that got me into this mess.
Well, I guess nature got me into this mess, considering it spooked my horse and made me fall off—which was embarrassing enough without having to be doted on.
And…Thea only answered my text yesterday minimally.
I’d sent it apologizing for making her go through all the crap I put her through, and her response had been,
It’s all good. Hope you’re feeling better!
Not as affectionate as I’d like, given that the woman saw me pass out because I saw a needle, at least according to her recap to my mother.
Nothing quite as emasculating as passing out in front of the woman you are into.
I have this vague memory of telling her things I definitely should not have as well. Like how I’ve been into her for the last few years and kissing her has been the highlight of all of that.
I hoped that was a dream and not something I had actually said out loud.
“Oh shit, Mom can’t get Lue.”
Fucking amazing. “Okay, let’s go get her.”
I’m already up and going before my brother can say a word, because if I don’t get out of this house soon, I won’t be the only Cash brother who ends up hurt.
Bottle Grounds was surprisingly quiet this Friday night, but considering I was recovering from a head-splitting concussion, I was grateful for that.
I talked Stetson into coming out tonight, and because Mom was busy, Lue was with us to get “family dinner.”
I have more motivation in being here tonight than just getting dinner, but either Stetson didn’t have a death wish anymore, or he was finally getting the hint that I didn’t need him to be all over me all the time and gave me an out I desperately needed by keeping his mouth shut.
Even Lue probably knew why I wanted to come here tonight, but she was just happy to be tagging along.
“I’m getting a double burger,” Lue announces, and I blink at her in surprise.
“A double? Are you sure you need that much food?” Stetson asks, looking at her in thesame manner that I was.
She turns to him with a look that could kill, and I bite back the smile threatening to overtake my face. “I have rigorous rehearsals coming up, Uncle Stetson. I need the extra calories.”
His hands go up, and one of the waitresses comes by our table. I look around her, wondering if the Weaver sisters ever waited on tables and hoping it would be my lucky night.
I’ve never really seen Thea out from behind the bar much, other than to greet guests and sometimes play hostess, but I wonder if she knew I was here if she would come and give me special treatment .
We place our order, and Lue fills Stetson in on her schedule. According to it, we have a full summer of rehearsals to go, with a play that will be put on at the end of August.
She was thrilled to be a part of the local theater, as she said, even though it was the same drama teacher as she had at her school.
But technically speaking, this was for any actors in town to participate in, not just the middle school.
Because this town was the size of my thumb, actors who would be playing in it were few and far between, aside from extras, so the middle and high school kids took on the major roles.
Our food arrives, and I carefully dig in, trying not to hit my arm on the table or the plate.
Thankfully, the wound didn’t really hurt so much, and I was down to a dull pain every now and then that was easily manageable.
It was my head that was hurting and why I had to have a chaperone at all times in case something goes wrong.
Stetson and I watch in fascination as my daughter takes down a double burger, fries, and her pickle without barely breathing. She looks up and finds us both paused in our quest to finish dinner, both sets of eyes on her.
She wipes her mouth and shrugs. “What? I was raised by boys.”
I frown at her. “Where did you even hear that phrase?”
“Around school. Because I don’t have a mom and was raised by boys, I don’t know how to act like a lady, therefore, I don’t.”
My mind races with what these middle school punks are filling my daughter’s head with. “You can act like a lady even though you didn’t have a mom. You have Grandma and Aunt Sandra and Dani. ”
“Well, yeah,” she relents slightly. “But they’re not my mom.”
Her words hit me in the gut, creating all sorts of havoc in my brain when I realized that she’s probably been keeping this to herself for a long time, hiding that it bothers her that she didn’t have a mom.
Was she always feeling this way? Every holiday and Mother’s Day, was she feeling like she was left out in some way because she didn’t have a mom for those events?
I work hard to provide her with a good life, supporting her dreams and making sure that no matter what, I would always be with her, no matter what happens in life.
I didn’t want her to ever know what it was like to be abandoned by a parent. I’d had it happen to me, but I never felt the loss of our dad in our lives because my mom was such an amazing mother.
For me, I tried to emulate that for her, being a super dad so she’d never feel like something in her life was missing. But maybe I missed the mark. Maybe I should have tried harder to fill that role all of these years when she was clearly yearning for something like it in her life.
Just then, Thea pops her head out of the back where the doors to the kitchen are. Her hair is up in a large bun, and there’s a slight sheen of sweat coating her skin.
She looks like she’s glowing, and it gives her a look like she’s an angel.
My heart thuds in my chest, and I look to Stetson, making sure he’s got Lue. He nods, already knowing where I’m heading, and I stand up to make my way over to the bar, catching Thea off guard when I step into her path and take the box from her, setting it on the floor .
“What the—” Her gaze catches mine, and she blinks in surprise. “Logan, you’re here.”
“I’m here,” I confirm, giving her a grin that I hope is flirty and not a grimace. Picking up that box hurt, but I’m not about to let her know that.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be resting at home?” The concern on her face makes my smile widen, knowing that she was genuinely concerned about me makes me think that this thing between us could actually blossom into something real.
I was terrified by how much I wanted that.
“I needed a break from home, and it is Friday night anyway.”
Her brows meet in confusion. “Friday night? What happens on Fridays?”
“I take you for a spin around the dance floor,” I reply, trying to be smooth. I don’t think I’ve ever had to try before. “It’s tradition.”
Her lips start to tilt upward until she catches herself. Damn, she was tricky. “We’ve done that once. I wouldn’t exactly call that a tradition.”
“Well, guess we better keep at it. We have many Fridays ahead of us.”
Reluctantly, she lets me take her by the hand, and together, we weave in and out of tables until we’re back on the dance floor again. Three times I’ve held her in my arms like this, and every single time, I wish it didn’t have to end.
As we’re dancing, with her holding my right shoulder and my right hand resting lightly on her hip, I catch her trying not to look me in the eyes .
Finally, after another twenty seconds of her purposefully not looking at me, I bend a little to grab her attention.
“You don’t like what you see or something?”
Her cheeks burn at my question, and I almost feel bad. “No. I just…” She sighs and finally turns all of her attention to me. “What do you remember from Monday?”
Ah. She wonders if I remember spilling my guts to her.
I did, but I wasn’t about to tell her that.
“Well, shoot. I remember you helping me in the bathroom.” She nods, her gaze fixated on my face.
“I remember you loading me into your car and feeling like a clown.” Her eyebrows drop, and she gives me a “ha, ha, very funny” look.
“After that, I remember you in a room with me and a doctor coming in.”
“And do you remember saying anything?”
I frown, pretending that I have no idea what she’s talking about. “No, I don’t really remember saying anything. I think I remember you saying something to me, though.”
Her eyebrows furrow deeper. “What? No, I didn’t.”
“Yeah, you definitely did.” I pause, drawing out the anticipation and absolutely loving how rattled she’s getting. Is it fair? Not really. Is it good, clean fun? Absolutely. “Yeah, what was it that you said…something about a crush from three years ago? Oh, and I was the best kiss of your life.”
Thea gasps, and her eyes flare. “I did not say that! You said that!”
I lift my brows in surprise. “Oh, really? ’Cause I distinctly remember you saying something about a kiss.”
“I did not,” she says, rooting her feet in place. “You were bragging about a kiss that was the highlight of your year, and you were the one who said you’ve been into me since you met me. ”
“And how did you feel about that?” I ask quickly, hoping that the fact that she was riled up would get her to confess something.
“I-I-I didn’t care for it,” she says, trying to pull her hands away, but I hold onto her right one.
I pull her to me, and though she was interested in not being near me right now, or at least, that was how she was acting, she followed my hand to me until her chest was pressed against mine.
I could feel the heat of her body, the inhale of her breath, and if my fourteen-year-old daughter wasn’t sitting not twenty feet away, likely watching every second of this, I would absolutely press my lips to hers and make her remember why that damn kiss was the highlight of my year.
“I think.” I pull her in closer, her head beside mine and my lips by her ear. “You’re a damn liar.”
Her intake of breath is all the warning I have before she shoves at my chest, spins around, and marches back to the bar. “Thanks for the dance!” I call out with a laugh and make my way back to the table.
Lue looks about ready to burst but doesn’t say a word.
Stetson smirks and nods toward Thea. “That looked like it went well.”
I smile back and lean into my seat. “It sure did.”