18. Logan
logan
There was something about a Sunday afternoon. Church was out, everyone was in good spirits, the food was good, and the company was even better.
Having Thea here for me, having a person who wasn’t just a fourteen-year-old who wanted nothing to do with me once there were other kids around, was a new sort of nice that I’ve never experienced before.
I watched her with the other ladies of the family, planning Dani and CT’s wedding together, which I guess was happening soon. Seeing how seamlessly she fit into my family had my heart beating at a rapid pace. I wasn’t expecting this afternoon to go so well.
By the time the sun had set, there were leftovers from lunch being set out for dinner, a bonfire going in the large fire pit out back, and everyone was still sitting around chatting. Even the baby was still in cheerful spirits, having just woken up from a nap .
Music was playing on a speaker outside, all the slow classics that we knew and loved, and the girl who I was more than halfway to falling for was laughing at something Cal and Stetson were discussing.
“You look smitten.” I hear from beside me and look over to see my mom standing there, a small, knowing smile on her lips.
“Is that bad?” I ask her in a low voice.
Her eyes shine, but I can tell it’s from happiness, not from being sad that her son may very well be…well, I won’t say it yet.
“Not at all, son. All I’ve ever wanted for you is to be happy. And that.” She nods her head toward Thea, who got distracted with Lue and was paying very thorough attention to whatever my daughter was saying to her. “That’s happiness right there.”
She wanders off before I can say anything, and I look back at the two girls who were now my whole world.
When Lue runs off again, Thea’s eyes move around the porch until they settle on me. There’s a contentedness in her, she’s more relaxed than I’ve ever seen her, and I was happy to be a small part of that.
She stands, and I straighten from where I was leaning against the wall. When she’s made her way to me, she smiles shyly.
“This has been a great day.”
“Better than inventory?”
She rolls her eyes and says, “Yes, better than inventory.”
I look at her, and a question comes to mind. “Why were you so hesitant to come here with me?”
For a moment, she’s quiet before she lets out a deep breath and says, “I’m scared to spend time with you.”
The words feel like a punch to the gut, and my brows furrow. “What? Why? ”
“Because.” She shrugs, but I won’t let her off with a non-answer.
There’s a part of the porch not being used, where we can still hear the music but can talk without being overheard. I lead her there and take her in my arms like I’ve done so many times before, and she doesn’t even fight me on it.
“I want a real answer,” I tell her, my voice unusually rough.
Her eyes blink, shiny and wide. “A real answer to what?”
“Come on, Thea. No games,” I tell her. “We’re adults, can we please act like it?”
She sighs and says, “Fine. No games?”
“No. Truth.”
“Okay, fine.” She shrugs, her hands still on me as we sway to the music, and she takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m terrified.”
“Terrified of me?” I ask, my voice low. “Thea, I would never hurt you.”
“Not terrified like that,” she assures, glancing to my family and back. “My…feelings for you have.” She pauses like she’s searching for the word. “Evolved.”
I try to hide my smile, but inside, I’m so fucking relieved I feel like I could cry. “Evolved.”
She nods at my reply. “And it’s scary. I don’t trust people easily, Logan. I think you probably already know that. But with you, I feel like maybe I could.”
“You can,” I assure her quickly. “You can trust me.”
“I know,” she replies quietly. “That’s what’s scary.”
“Thea, I know you got a past, baby. I understand how horrible it was when you went through that.” I sigh, thinking about how I can ease her worries.
“I know that how we came to be here isn’t conventional.
” I raise my brows, and she nods, letting out a slow breath.
“But we’re here now because I care about you, because these past few weeks have been good. ”
“Logan, they have been good. But you have to understand that the last time I put complete faith in a man, I got burned, and so did my sisters.”
I stop our movements and stare down at her, waiting for her eyes to connect with mine. “I am not him.”
She must get that feels like an insult to me because she shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut tight.
“I know you’re not.” Her eyes open again.
“I swear, I’m not trying to put you two together or compare you.
I’m trying to tell you that you’re the only two people I’ve ever trusted with my heart, and whether it was broken out of trust or love the first time, I have a feeling that with you, it would hurt way more. ”
Her words settle over me, and this feeling of how serious she is, how serious her feelings for me must be if she voiced this all out loud, fills me with hope that we were far more on the same page than I’d originally thought.
We resume our swaying dance, glancing over at the group when we hear them break out into laughter.
I turn my attention back to her. “You already put your faith in me when we went to that courthouse.” I squeeze her hand, and she quickly looks to make sure no one heard me.
“Now that you trust me on paper, it’s time to put a little more faith into what I’m willing to bet could be something amazing. ”
Her eyes, big and bright and beautiful, water.
“That is.” I nod my head to the side where I see my daughter. “If you’re up for it.”
She licks her lips, her grip on my hand growing tighter, and I wait on bated breath to see how this is going to play out. “I’m up for it. ”
“Good,” I answer quickly, not giving her a chance to change her mind or back out. “Now dance with me and tell me I’m pretty.”
The comment gets the reaction I want, which was for her to laugh and finally let go of the tension she’s been holding in her since we started this conversation.
“Oh, Mr. Cowboy, I don’t think your ego needs that kind of stroking.”
Though her words are a clear challenge, like the gentleman I am, I keep my mouth shut and raise a brow at her.
Her giggling erupts loud enough that family members glance over at us.
And for the first time since Thea came to me for help last year, I finally feel like we’re on the track to something great.
The horse beneath me works their hooves into the dirt, pushing themselves to go faster and faster until I signal them to slow down, getting them to go at just a walk. I breathe heavily myself, wiping my forehead with my sleeve before replacing my ball cap on my head.
I pat the horse on the neck and walk him around, letting his heart rate come back to normal.
It had been a week since my accident, and I was finally back to work. Thankfully, Stetson and CT had kept up with the young ones I work with so they weren’t as fiery as they could have been.
The horse I was on currently is only two, and he has a lot of potential for the shows if they wanted him to. CT had brought him in, asking me if I could get him broke so he could take over and train him as a cow horse.
“Lookin’ good out there,” my cousin calls from the door to the arena. I slow my horse until he stops, and when I’m sure he’s cool enough, I dismount and make my way over to Dani.
“Yeah, he’s a good one. Your fiancé has a good eye.”
Dani blushes and rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to call him that.”
“Oh, right. Soon-to-be husband is better.”
“Personally, I like the term ‘bridegroom,’” my brother says from whatever spot he just popped out of.
“What the hell is a bridegroom?” I ask, taking the bridle out of my horse’s mouth and replacing the whole thing with his halter and tying him to the cross ties. Dani immediately starts to help, loosening the cinch.
“It’s the old term used for men who were to be wed.”
“Oh, yeah, we should definitely start calling CT a bridegroom.”
Dani chuckles at me. “Don’t tease him.”
Stetson and I glance at each other, and I’m sure his expression matches mine. “Yeah, no, you can’t take that away from us. It’s our duty.”
“Your duty?” Dani crosses her arms and raises a brow at us. “I’ve been with Cade since we were kids, and now you’re going to start picking on him?”
“We’ve always picked on him,” Stetson says, “Just not usually in front of you.”
“Yeah, being respectful and whatnot,” I confirm, giving her a playful wink.
“Whatever.” She shakes her head, then nods at the horse. “You thinking about showing anytime soon? ”
I let out a long sigh. Why did they keep asking me that? “No.”
“Why not? You’d be great at it,” Dani insists. Rubbing her fingertips over the horse’s forehead, he leans into her hand.
“Because I don’t care for showing like you two superstars.”
Dani and CT have been showing since they were teenagers, and CT took a big break when they were apart, but the two of them together are a power couple in their world.
But it was similar to a friend getting into a relationship, where they suddenly want everyone else to be in a relationship too so they could all experience the pure bliss that they were.
No, thank you.
“Actually.” Stetson rubs his jaw, and I frown at his overgrown beard.
“You need to shave.”
He looks over at me. “What? This beard is epic.”
“That beard is not epic,” I reply. “You look like a serial killer.”
“That’s not what I’ve been told.” He gives an eyebrow waggle that makes Dani fake gag.
I purse my lips and give him a nod. “Gross.”
Rolling his eyes, he says, “ Anyway , as I was saying, I was going to ask you to partner up with me a few times this summer.”
“Partner up for what?”
He smiles, and I know whatever is about to come out of his mouth, I’m not going to like.
“Team roping.”