28. Thea
thea
My feet are killing me.
We spent the whole day running around the ranch, making sure we were helpful with all the events that needed to happen, but when we weren’t doing that, Logan had me out on the dance floor.
That boy can dance.
When it was time for the father-daughter dance, I watched Dani dance with Earl, her father, and then a little more than halfway through, he relinquished her to Cal and let him finish the dance. It was sweet.
But the sweetest part was when all the other fathers and daughters joined them, and I got to watch Logan take his reluctant and maybe slightly embarrassed fourteen-year-old out to the floor and dance.
He twirled her around and made her laugh more times than I can count, and I sat there watching, feeling like I had hearts falling out of my eyes as I watched them .
My sisters stood beside me and watched with me. If I didn’t already know that they were on board with my being with Logan, watching him be such a wonderful dad surely sealed the deal.
The sun has long since set, and we were on the back porch of the Trevors’ family home. Logan was off chatting with his brothers and Graham, plus some other guys I didn’t know, and I sat listening to some of the women talk.
My sisters left a few hours ago to open the bar for the night, and the bride and groom snuck off as soon as they could get away with it.
I was feeling ready to leave, but I didn’t want to make Logan leave his family too soon since he was driving me.
Lue runs up to him and talks excitedly for a few minutes, and I see him ask Graham a question, who nods with a smile.
Lue jumps up and down and darts down the stairs before quickly stopping and running back up, hugging her dad around the waist.
Then, to my surprise, she rushes over to me and wraps her arms around my neck, squeezing tight. I hug her back.
“See you tomorrow, Thea!”
I laugh and repeat it back, even though I’m not sure I will.
I watch her run over to Graham’s daughter, Alex, and they run off, giggling as they go. Even with a slight age gap between the girls, they seemed to get along great.
My eyes catch Logan’s, and I can see him contemplating something.
Not too much later, Logan asks if I’m ready, and we start to say our goodbyes. He opens the door to his truck for me, and I climb in, letting out a nervous sigh as he rounds the front and gets in .
Something is brewing between us. The tension is so taut that I’m afraid to move lest I suddenly shatter it.
Smiling at me, he hesitates for a minute before he looks over at me. “Lue is staying at Graham’s tonight.”
I smile. “I gathered that.”
He fiddles with his keys for a moment. “You wanna come over? Have a coffee or something? I feel like I barely got to talk with you today.”
I’m unsure if that’s an excuse or not, but I don’t call him out on it. “Sure.”
When we arrive, Logan sets about making coffee and tells me to make myself comfortable.
How do I tell him that I don’t want to make myself comfortable, that I want him to finally be with me? How do I exit my comfort zone when I’m not sure if that’s where his mind is at?
He goes to the fireplace and builds a fire.
“I need to use your bathroom,” I blurt out suddenly, embarrassed at my actions and how my heart is hammering beneath my chest. I rush down the hallway and lock myself inside the room, bracing my arms on the sink and looking at myself in the mirror.
“Grow up, Thea. You’ve had sex before.” I mentally groan. Eric totally fucked me over.
When we first had sex, it was full of love, and he was sensitive to my needs. He showed me that it could be fun.
But it wasn’t long before he’d manipulated my feelings and made me feel low and bad about myself, about my body. Talked about the cellulite on my thighs and any imperfection he could point out, he would say that the girls at the club never had that.
It made me feel like throwing up.
It got to the point where I stopped being with him, where I would fake headaches and according to him, “force him to turn to the girls at the club.”
At that point, I didn’t care. I wanted him to be with them instead of me. I wanted him to be gone all the time.
I dreaded when he would come home, when he would tell me in detail what he would do at the club.
I straighten up and glare at myself in the mirror before murmuring, “Logan is not Eric. Logan is a good man who…he’ll take care of me. He will.” I nod at myself in the mirror and fluff up my hair. “You are a strong, attractive woman who knows what she wants, go take it.”
Mentally prepared and impressed with my speech to myself, I run my wrists under the cool water to calm myself down.
Drying my hands quickly, I open the door and head back into the living room.
Logan stands there, staring at the fireplace. He took his hat off as soon as we got here, but his wedding attire is still in place, down to his shiny cowboy boots.
“Hey.”
He turns at the sound of my voice, and his eyes heat as he takes me in. If I need further proof that he’s into me, the look on his face says it all.
He walks over to me, his eyes not leaving my own, and when he’s close enough, I tilt my chin up to meet his eyes.
Logan’s hand cups my cheek and pulls me closer. “You’re so beautiful.”
I feel heat rising in my cheeks, and before I can psyche myself out further, I lean forward and capture his lips with my own, moving to put my arms over his shoulders and around his neck.
I tell him with my kiss that I want this, that all these weeks of being with him, of dancing on Friday nights and shamelessly flirting with him, of him slowly becoming my best friend, have led us to this path, and I am ready to take that next step.
His arm wraps around my waist, holding me so close that nothing could come between us.
Turning us, he presses my back against the wall of the hallway and continues to kiss and touch me until my entire body is lit on fire. The roughness of his hands brings chills to my skin, and I beg him with my motions to keep going.
My hands tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck, and his mouth tears from mine, trailing hot kisses down my neck and over my collarbone. I hear myself panting, my eyes close, and I just let myself feel him. I let myself get lost in the moment.
Without thought, my leg raises to wrap around his waist, and before I can process the movement, Logan hikes me up so that I’m completely supported by him.
Holding me tighter, Logan looks at me, his eyes holding my own. In them, I see something I’ve never seen before, not directed at me anyway. I see love. I see passion, and I see understanding.
Without a word, he carries me further down the hallway, walking into his bedroom and lying me on the bed, seamlessly coming with me until his weight is comfortably holding me down.
I keep my eyes trained on him, and when he kisses me, I feel everything I saw in his eyes and my heart. My heart feels nearly ready to burst at the amount of emotion I feel at this very moment.
I reach for the buttons of his vest and undo them. When I’m finished, Logan shakes it off, untucking his button-down shirt next and shucking it off and down to the floor. I stare at the perfection before me.
Don’t get me wrong, Logan is all man. He has hair on his chest and scars here and there, but he is all muscle.
And he’s perfect for me.
I run my hands over his skin, and before he can remove anything else, I kiss him, unable to keep my mouth or my hands to myself.
He seems to feel the same way. His large hands run over my body, and even through my dress, I can feel the heat of his skin. I want to wish away the remaining clothing between us, so we don’t have to part.
Logan pulls away for a moment, moving down my body, and I want to protest at the loss of him. He stands, kicking off his boots and unbuttoning his pants. He leaves himself in only his boxers and reaches for my own shoes, gently pulling them off my feet.
I sit up and hold out a hand for him. He grasps it and pulls me to stand in front of him. I pull my hair off to the side and turn, letting him unzip my dress.
It slinks to the ground, revealing the sexy lingerie that lingers underneath.
I hear him curse under his breath, his hands come to my arms, and the tips of his fingers trail over my skin. I turn back to him and his eyes. Man, his eyes light me on fire.
I’ve never seen someone with such expressive eyes.
“You are…” he starts, his voice rough with want, with need. “You are everything to me, Dorothy.”
I smile at him, my unease, my worry, and my discomfort at the thought of being intimate with him drifting away.
He smiles back at me, and I don’t feel the need to say anything, and judging by his expression, I feel like he knows exactly what I’m feeling.
His hands are back on me, and he effortlessly lifts me into his arms, laying me back down once again, and I stare up at him, my hands running over his arms and pulling him down to me.
Resting between my legs, I feel him rub against my center, and I moan. He breathes out a sigh and shakes his head, his lips brushing against my own.
“You make sounds like that, this will be over far too soon.”
I giggle—actually giggle—at his admission and say, “We have all the time in the world.”
His eyes lock on mine, and he says, “I’m going to hold you to that, Dorothy Cash.”
I feel my lips curve into a smile, my eyes watering happily at the sound of my name.
The name that only he knows is my true one.
My hands rub over his back, and he’s back to kissing me, lighting me on fire with his lips. I pant, feeling myself grow more and more ready for him by the second.
Using my toes, I boldly slide his boxers down his legs, and my trepidation slips away with every soothing touch and kiss from him.
It’s not just that I’m nervous, which I’m sure Logan realizes, it’s that he’s taking his time. He’s showing me with every movement that he’s right here, that I’m safe, that there’s no rush.
But I’m rushing.
I’m rushing because I want this, right now.
He sits up abruptly, sliding my panties down my legs, and his eyes—his eyes devour every inch of me.
Reaching over, he grabs a condom out of his nightstand drawer, and I watch with rapt attention as he puts it on. Before I know it, he’s lying back over me, kissing me until it’s hard to breathe.
My legs wrap around his waist, and he slides into me. I breathe through it, overwhelmed and thrilled and so happy that I’m feeling all that I’m feeling that I find myself just about ready to cry.
He notices.
He slows down, even though my nails in his back surely don’t feel like I want him to slow down.
But he does, he slows, letting me feel everything, letting himself feel everything, and he kisses me in a way that shows me respect.
This is how it feels to make love.
I didn’t know.
I’ve never known what it was like, but…this is it.
He presses his lips to my cheeks, catching the tears that have slipped out, and he changes angles, holding me to him.
Holding me to him until both of us have completely come undone.
Still, even after we’ve both finished, he holds me to him. His arms wrap around me, and he moves us until we’re facing one another.
Then he pulls me closer, and he whispers, “I’ve got you.”
I fall asleep for the first time, feeling completely safe in a man’s arms.