32. Thea
thea
For the past couple of weeks, things have started to calm down a bit. Lue was done with her play now and was already gearing up for the next one. She also turned fifteen, and we threw her a very fun slumber party for all of her friends.
I was surprised at how much she wanted me involved in that, but also thrilled that she’d taken to me being so entrenched in her life so well.
She was completely fine with my staying at their house, even though I was in the guest room.
It was almost weird to not sleep in Logan’s room with him, but more often than not, I found him coming into my room and holding me close while we slept each night.
We didn’t want to push Lue or make her uncomfortable. But there were nights I would go to bed early and head into the guest room, and she would look on in confusion, like my sleeping in there wasn’t quite right.
She was much more perceptive than we knew, I think .
I was currently sitting at the bar, planning out breakfast meals that could be easy for us in the mornings. Most mornings when I wasn’t opening the restaurant, I would make breakfast for everyone before work.
School starts next week, but Logan takes Lue to work with him most mornings, and, in order to get them a decent breakfast before they head out, I have to be up early to do so.
“Whatcha doing?” Annmarie’s voice right beside my ear makes me jump where I sit at the bar.
“Don’t do that, you nearly made me knock over my coffee.”
“‘Quick and Easy Breakfast for Back to School.’” She hops up on the chair next to me and gives me a once-over. “You’re now planning back-to-school breakfasts…and you’re living with Logan.”
“I’m staying with Logan, my apartment has mice.” It was the lie we came up with to answer why I was at Logan’s now. It wasn’t my best lie, but it seemed to be keeping the intrusive questions at bay.
“Right…or you’re living with him because you’re in love and want to live with him.”
I turn to my sister, my expression schooled.
Or so I thought.
“Oh my god, you’re in love with Mr. Cowboy?”
I sigh in silent defeat. “You must think I’m stupid,” I say, rubbing my forehead with my index finger.
Annmarie has never said as much, but I suspected she didn’t approve of Eric from the get-go. When I started bringing him around, it was easy to see it on her face, but her unfailing loyalty toward me was always there.
“Why do you say that?” She reaches over, grabbing a toothpick and sticking it in her teeth, her long blond hair slung over one of her shoulders.
“I’m not the best at picking good partners.”
She scoffs, and I turn to look at her. “Man, I really hate Eric. That asshole did a number on you.”
I frown, nodding. “And everyone else.”
“Nah.” She shakes her head, and her eyes lock on my own.
“Eric never hurt us like he hurt you, that’s why we got hurt in the process.
We had to sit back and watch our beautiful, loving, generous sister get taken advantage of, and there was no way to stop it.
” She glances to the toothpick that’s now in her hands.
“When you first brought him around, there was this collective relief. We’d just lost Mom and Dad only, what, eight months before that?
Having another adult around felt like some sort of weird blessing. ”
“But it wasn’t.”
Annmarie gives me a look. “How could you have known? He charmed us all into thinking he was something he wasn’t.”
“Right, but I was the adult. I let him come in and walk all over us.”
Annmarie purses her lips. “He charmed us, Thea. He had us all believe he was this noble knight in shining armor. Logan is not like that.”
“He’s not,” I agree with her, even though there’s a voice in the back of my head that tells me to be careful, to not let my heart get away from me too fast.
“That dude has never made you believe he’s perfect. He’s got plenty of flaws and plenty of baggage.”
I frown at her. “Lue is not baggage.”
She smiles. “See, only a woman in love would think a fifteen-year-old stepdaughter isn’t baggage. ”
“She’s not my stepdaughter,” I protest, even though…yeah.
“You know what I mean. You two are headed that way, regardless of how much you deny it.”
“I want to make good choices.”
She shrugs again. “You can only make the best choices you can.”
I look over at her, eyeing her speculatively. “That makes no sense.”
“Sure it does.” For a moment, she’s quiet, and I’m thinking over her words. “You know why Tori is mad, right?”
I whip my gaze to hers. “Yes. She’s mad that I put you all through that. Mad that I allowed it to happen.”
When Annmarie shakes her head, I narrow my gaze in confusion.
“She’s mad because she didn’t see what he was doing to you, that she didn’t step in and stop what was happening.”
“That’s not her responsibility.”
“She felt it was.” Annmarie eyes me sadly. “Tori is the second born. She was old enough to step in if she knew what was happening. She feels she didn’t do enough for you, feels she let you down.”
“Why won’t she talk to me?” Anyone could hear the heartbreak in my voice.
“Because she loves you, but she doesn’t know if she loves herself enough to allow you to forgive her.”
I frown, turning fully to look at my sister. “There’s nothing to forgive, though. She did nothing wrong.”
“That’s not for us to decide.”
We sit in silence for a few moments, and I think over what my sister has said. I’m mad at Tori—mad that she didn’t come to me with this over the last several years. I love her to death, and she’s beating herself up over something she shouldn’t.
“Oh, here.” She pulls an envelope out of her back pocket and sets it on the bar between us.
It’s a letter addressed to Logan from the building manager.
“Oh…I gave them my new address. He must know that’s Logan’s house,” I say, confusion even in my tone.
Annmarie purses her lips and nods at me like she believes nothing I’m saying, but she doesn’t push. “Yeah, okay.” She hops down off the barstool and heads back into the kitchen, leaving me with many confusing and confounding thoughts.
I pick up my cell and dial Tori’s number, hoping and praying that it’ll go through.
It rings and rings and rings.
A voicemail never picks up, and I hang up, wondering how I could fix another thing that I allowed Eric to break.