37. Thea
thea
“Holy shit, you’re in a piss-poor mood.” My sister, never one to pull her words or her punches, glares at me behind the bar.
It was Friday night, and we had a full house. It wasn’t the time to be fighting with my sister, but she wasn’t wrong. I was not in a good mood.I haven’t been since I drove away from the one person I love last night. How could I be?
“Leave me alone, Annmarie,” I say back, focusing on filling orders and forcing smiles onto my face. I’ve never had my face hurt from having to force smiles before, it was a new kind of torture.
“I wish I could, you know?” Annmarie says, almost conversationally, as she methodically pours shots without spilling. “But I have to see that mean mug day in and day out, and frankly, babe, we’re stuck here together.”
Sometimes my sister was just too fucking much.
“Annmarie.” I turn, giving her a stern look. “Drop it.”
Thankfully, the band was loud tonight. It was one Juniper found, set up, and arranged all on her own, and it brought in a fantastic crowd.
I wish I could get out of my own head and enjoy it.
“I can’t, Thea. What the hell happened?”
I haven’t spoken to my sisters about breaking up with Logan because, for one, I didn’t think they would believe me. Logan and I have been attached at the hip, with Lue fully in tow, for months now. So my story about moving too fast…I highly doubt they would fall for that line.
And two, well, maybe I just don’t want to deal with the truth of it right now.
I’d gone home to my empty apartment only two nights ago and felt more alone than I ever had before. Worse was picturing Logan home alone too, given that Lue had been out for the night.
It killed me to think about that.
Still, we both held our pride, and neither one of us has reached out to the other.
I was dreading the day that Logan decided we were getting our marriage—fake or not—annulled.
I wasn’t ready to deal with that.
“Nothing happened, people can be in bad moods, you know.”
Whistling at Jason and Sally, Annmarie demands they take over the bar duties. When they do, she latches on to my arm and marches me back to the office, even as I try to get her to release her grip.
“Annmarie, we don’t have time for this, it’s a full house.”
“Hm, wow, really?” Her sarcasm hits its mark, and I roll my eyes at her.
She places me in the office, then spins and slams the door shut. “What the hell is going on?”
I cross my arms, feeling every bit like a petulant child. Which is pretty hilarious, given that Annmarie is my younger sister, and I’m supposed to be the levelheaded one here.
But I feel anything but levelheaded.
“Nothing,” I keep on, trying not to break down.
Now is not the time to break, Thea.
“Bullshit,” Annmarie says, folding her arms and bracing her feet. She’s blocking the door with her stance, and her expression tells me that she’s not leaving or letting me leave until I spill.
A knock on the door has me clamming up once again, but Annmarie just turns to let my other sister in. Juniper, the sweet sister, has a furrowed brow, and she looks me over with great concern.
“What’s wrong, sissy?”
And for whatever reason, that is the question that breaks me.
One tear slips out, then another and another until I’m sobbing in our office, unable to breathe properly through the pain of what I’m grieving. Arms come around me, holding me tightly, and I just let them. I let my sisters hold me until I feel I have no tears left to cry.
“Dammit, did Mr. Cowboy hurt you?” my sister asks, and for once, I don’t want to lie. I don’t want to hide what’s going on anymore.
So, I don’t.
“I hurt him,” I reply, my throat tight with my tears. “I—” I reach up, biting my thumbnail and leaning against the desk. My sisters step back slightly to give me room to breathe.
“I’ve been getting threats,” I start, then go on to explain to them everything that’s happened since the first time I got a letter from Eric in the mail, to me asking for Logan’s help to him actually marrying me to keep me safe.
They listen quietly, sharing worried glances every so often, but never interrupting, letting me get out what I need to get out.
“But then one of Eric’s letters showed up at Logan’s house.” I look at them, if looks could kill, both of my sisters would have murdered my ex by now. “I can’t have him threatening them. I can’t.”
“So, what did you do, then?” Juniper asks, her brows never rising from their worried stance.
“I told Logan we were moving too fast,” I admit. “If I told him the truth?—”
“He would have wanted to deal with it himself,” Annmarie says, finishing my sentence with a nod.
“Exactly. I don’t know what I was thinking, dragging him and, worst of all, his daughter into my mess.”
“Well, why not let him handle it?” Juniper asks, shocking me. “I mean, if he wants to protect you, let him.”
I look from her sweet face to Annmarie, hoping she’s wearing the same expression as me, but she looks like she agrees.
“I can’t, you guys. He has Lue to think about.”
“He also has you to think about,” Annmarie says.
“He loves you, Thea. Regardless of if this whole thing started out fake, that man fell head over heels for you. I highly doubt he would be mad at you because your psycho ex was still up to his shit. He’s probably pissed right now because he thinks you ran away. ”
I look down at my hands, wringing them together and shaking my head. “I just can’t do it.” My words get choked up on the way out.
Annmarie sighs, and I can tell without seeing it happen that she and Juniper are communicating with their eyes right now.
“How come you didn’t come to us for help?” Juniper asks, and I look up at her face.
“Yeah, I’m actually pretty pissed you left me in the dark. I could fuck Eric up right now.” Annmarie shakes her head. “You could have transferred everything to me, it’s not like I can’t take care of the bar.”
I blanch. “It’s not that I don’t trust you.
” Shit, she probably does think that. I rush to assure her that’s not the case.
“After everything we’ve been through, after everything I put you guys through when you were younger with all of Eric’s bullshit, I didn’t want to burden you with more problems.”
“You letting us in, sharing your worries and concerns, will never be a burden,” Juniper says softly, making me want to cry all over again.
“Yeah, she’s right. I kind of want to kick your ass for not telling me, but we love you. You get to share the ugly shit with us, we’re related, we can’t get away even if we want to.”
Didn’t stop Astoria from trying, I think, sad that I can’t even talk to my sister anymore because we both apparently have issues with our past now.
I ache to talk to her, wondering what she would do and say. I know she would have my back—or she would have if we didn’t fuck it all up.
“So, you broke up with Logan, it’s Friday night, maybe he’ll show?” Juniper’s open-heart bleeds right then and there for the romantic gesture she’s hoping will happen.
It’s not a secret that he comes in every Friday for a dance, but…no, that won’t be happening tonight.
“He’s not coming. I hurt him too much.” I rub my brow, and tears clog my throat again. “I miss him,” I admit, a sob sneaking its way out. “He made me feel…okay. He made me feel like it wasn’t all my fault.”
Annmarie frowns. “What wasn’t your fault?”
“Everything,” I say with a shudder, holding a hand slightly over my mouth to keep in the sobs that want to just rack my body all over again. “He was…he was my best friend. And I lost him.”
At that, my words do falter, and I let the tears consume me for a good amount of time, letting my sisters console me and hold me in their arms.
A knock on the door interrupts us, and I wipe away my tears, trying to no avail to get myself together before whoever is on the other side of the door sees me.
When I’m okay enough, Juniper opens the door and gasps softly. I look up, and for a second, it’s Logan.
Tall, cowboy hat on, broad-shouldered…but no, this man was just slightly too big.
I look right at Mitch, Logan’s little—or not-so-little—brother, and give him a wary look. I clear my throat. “Can we help you?”
“I’m here for the security position.”
I frown for a moment before remembering. After Bones’s visit a few weeks ago, Logan had told me I should hire security.
I forgot all about that job posting until now.
“Oh, uh.” Annmarie, seeing my flustering, ushers me out the door.
“I’ll take care of this,” she tells me, and I give her a grateful, beyond grateful, look.
Sometimes, I guess, I just need to let other people help take care of me.
I nod and head back out to the bar, leaving my sisters to handle Logan’s brother. Mitch gives me a quick once-over and then nods politely at me.
I only met him briefly at Dani and CT’s wedding, but he’s Logan’s brother, so I smile at him and make my way out to the busy bar, hoping that hours of consistent and crazy work will help me get my mind off my broken heart.