50. Logan
logan
I pace around the living room, my heart in my throat as I wait for Lue to emerge.
Thea showed up two hours ago, her hands full of hair and makeup supplies and if I’m not mistaken, lots of snacks.
Lue had rushed past me and grabbed hold of Thea, tugging her down the hallway before I could say more than three words to her.
I was jealous of the easy way their relationship seemed to be going.
I want more than anything to find my way back to Thea.
She was putting in the effort, she was showing up in more than one way for my daughter, for me, and I was ready to start doing the same.
I just didn’t know how.
It wasn’t like I could grab her and kiss her and promise her that I was ready. She deserved a little more than that.
More than once, she has come over and cooked dinner while I worked, leaving it for Lue and me and going home on her own. I even invited her to stay last time, but she had to get to work and couldn’t.
I had been pretty bummed about that, but it was my own fault.
She didn’t think she would get an invitation, therefore there was no reason for her not to work.
I was disappointed in myself for allowing this to continue for so long when all I wanted was for her to be back in my arms again, to wake up with her, to be a family again, and to tell her how much I loved her freely.
She was telling me every day. She was showing me that she loved me by being there for Lue, by cooking us dinners, by leaving breakfasts for Lue to eat before she went to school.
And now, by coming over and helping Lue get ready for her dance tonight.
It was five minutes until her friends showed up for the dance, and I was thrilled that Lue had decided to just go with her girlfriends instead of broaching the subject of a boy.
God, my heart wouldn’t have been able to take that.
“Okay, here she comes.” Thea’s voice jolts me out of my trance, and I snap around to face the hallway, watching my stunning daughter come toward me.
I freeze.
Holy…no.
She was growing up, and I have the evidence right in front of me. I just…don’t want to accept it.
“Luella,” I choke out, tears actually clogging my throat, and I shake my head at the sight in front of me. I see Thea behind her, holding her bags of things and smiling broadly at me from where she stands .
Lue picked a light-pink dress, and it checks off the boxes that I gave her when she was going shopping.
But it doesn’t matter. She’s still too pretty.
“Dad,” Lue chastises, coming over and nudging me. “Don’t cry.”
“I’m not.” But my voice breaks on the word, and I have to clear my throat.
Thea comes closer, setting her bags on the island and reaching for her phone. “Come on, picture of you two.”
We stand together, and I do my best not to cry when my daughter confidently smiles at Thea, standing tall and proud.
Thea did a great job on her hair and makeup, keeping everything light and still allowing her to look fifteen and not much older.
Mom shows up then, crying when she sees Lue and coming to hold her tight. My brothers, Mitch and Stetson, also come into the house, frowning when they see their niece.
Stetson steps closer to me. “What the hell?”
“I know.” I nod my head, not ready to admit what my brothers aren’t either.
My daughter is growing up.
Thea stands back the whole time, taking pictures of everyone with Lue before her friends get here.
“Come on,” my mom says, waving Thea and me forward. “Let’s get the three of you.”
“Oh, no.” Thea waves her off and Lue pouts at her, which makes her sigh and shrug. “Oh okay.”
We stand on either side of Lue, wrapping our arms around her, and my hand brushes against Thea’s side. I can’t help it when my finger runs up and down the side of her ribs.
We smile dutifully before Lue’s friends show up, and it’s another crazy round of pictures in front of my fireplace, all the parents taking turns and then the kids are off, piling into one of the parents’ trucks to head to the dance.
“You have your phone?” I ask Lue, and she pats the tiny purse she has.
“Got it. Fully charged.”
“Got money?”
She rolls her eyes. “Yes, Dad. I got it.”
“Okay, be safe and be home by eleven.”
She frowns. “The dance ends at nine.”
“Oh.” I nod. “Okay. Be home at nine thirty then.”
She rolls her eyes and gives me a crushing hug, and then she’s off to the dance.
I stand in my driveway and say goodbye to the other parents, watching my brothers talk with Thea out of the corner of my eye before she waves goodbye.
Shit. I want to talk to her, but she rushes off quickly, only a slight limp in her gait as she does.
Mom comes to stand beside me as she watches everyone leave and nudges my shoulder. “It’s Friday, you know.”
My eyes are stuck on Thea as she gets into her car and drives away.
“I know.”