Chapter 9
ELIJAH
Unknown
He who walks away from the Light walks naked through the teeth of wolves. His name is swallowed by ash. The Light does not forget what was carved from its fire. It does not forgive what turns from its flame. Return before the Hounds are sent. For no lamb strays long without teeth finding flesh.
Another message. Another number blocked. Another reason why I can’t let Finley out of my sight.
The last three days have been unbearable. Being on the road when she’s all alone at home. Even with Christina around, Finley’s by herself most of the day.
“What in the fuck are you doing, Sylkes?” Hillier yells across the ice.
We’re halfway through our morning skate, and with two near losses, I know I need to focus on the game tonight. Except I can’t. Because all that’s going through my mind is Finley back home and the messages that keep coming.
“What’s going on, man?” Jayden leans over the boards. Eyes narrowed on the bench where I put my phone face down. “You’re distracted and—”
“I’m fine.”
“Didn’t say you’re not fine. I said you’re distracted, and we need to fix that before the season gets fucked.”
“Can we not have a wives’ meeting right now?” Hillier snaps, slapping Jayden’s ass with his stick. “Get fucking moving, assholes!”
“You heard the man,” Jayden remarks, pushing off the boards with his stick.
I follow him onto the ice, and for the rest of the skate I try to ignore all the veiled threats The Fellowship have been hounding me with.
It’s not until we’re back on the bus back to the hotel, that Jayden asks, “Why won’t you tell me what’s going on? Ever since the game against The Wolves you’ve been absent. I get that you’re loved up and—”
“Stop, JJ.”
Shaking his head, he twists in his seat to level me with a glare. “No. Whatever is going on is fucking with your head. Maybe Coach is right, maybe you should talk to Dr. Armstrong and figure shit out.”
I don’t know why I told him about the conversation with Coach back in Florida.
It felt safer than answering all his questions about Finley and what happened in Havenview.
I should have known better though, because one of his fathers is a psychologist and one of his moms is a psychiatrist. Jayden is all about talking your problems and feelings out.
It’s one of the reasons it’s so easy to be around him—I always know where I stand.
But... “I can’t talk to Dr. Armstrong.”
“Right. You can’t talk to me. You can’t talk to her…”
“Because you wouldn’t understand,” I bark back under my breath.
All the other guys have their headphones in, getting themselves in the zone. Like we should be doing.
“Try me,” Jayden counters.
Stupidly, I debate telling him that the reason I’m all over the place is because I’m worried to death that The Fellowship are going to catch me off guard and take Finley away. That they’ll hurt her, or worse, break her.
“Eli…” He gives me that pleading look that makes me feel like an asshole for making him worry about me.
“When I took Finley away… When… I…”
“Just tell me, please.”
I look around the bus to make sure no one can hear us before I start, “Where Finley and I are from. The church we were raised in…”
“I’ve read about it,” he states, far too calm to know anything of significance about The Fellowship.
Anything that’s online inconsequential, otherwise The Elders would have had it buried. It’s how The Fellowship stays under the radar.
“My father is Shepherd, he’s the pastor and I’ve shamed him, our family…
” Jayden’s brows are furrowed tight, waiting for me to give him more.
“Caleb Tomes is my dad’s right-hand man, and I took his daughter on the day that they were going to promise her to another Elder’s son. I broke the rules and—”
“Sounds to me like the rules are unreasonable,” chuffs back. “I don’t see Finley upset that you took her away.”
“They want her back, Jayden.” He shakes his head at my statement. “I’m trying so hard to keep her safe, but they know where she is.”
“That’s why you keep her locked away in your apartment,” he murmurs with understanding.
“Because if The Fellowship take Finley back, they’ll hurt her. My father, her father… they’ll shame her in front of the congregation, and they’ll punish her until she breaks or—”
“I saw the marks on her wrists and her ankles,” Jayden mutters. “What did they do to her?”
“The girls… ummm, when they become promised, they have to be examined. You know?”
“No, I don’t,” he replies curtly.
“When they are to be married their virtue has to be intact for their husband.”
“You mean they check if they’re virgins?”
“Yes, and if they’re not, they have to go through a cleansing ritual. They have to bleed their sin.”
“That’s insane. That’s—wait. You let them do that to her?”
“No! It’s why I went back for her when Presley told me The Elders were going to betroth her.”
“Is that why you beat him up?” he asks, brows pulled together, lips pressed tight.
“Yes.” A good part of it anyway.
“I asked you what was wrong. I asked you to talk to me. Why didn’t you?”
“Because it’s my problem. I had to get Finley out of that place myself. I left her there. All these years I… I left her there.”
Jayden’s expression softens. “I didn’t even know you have a girlfriend…”
“Finley and me… we’re not…”
“You’re not?”
“We weren’t allowed to be together—”
“But you were.” When I don’t confirm, he adds, “I can tell by the way she is around you. The way she looks at you, like everything inside her is begging for you to touch her.”
A tight smile tugs at his lips as he stares up at the roof of the bus.
As I continue watching him, he chuffs, “What? It’s plain to see. But you’ve got that whole ‘don’t touch me’ thing around her too.”
“It’s complicated.” And this time, he really wouldn’t understand.
So instead of inviting more conversation, I focus on my hands, clutched on my lap.
After a while, Jayden asks, “Why didn’t you tell me any of this before?”
I don’t know what to tell him, but the truth seems like the best option, at least the harmless part of it. “Because telling people that my great-great-great-grandfather founded a sadistic cult doesn’t sound like the way to fit in.”
“First off, I’m not people, Eli, I’m your friend. And in case you haven’t noticed, fitting in isn’t something that bothers me. Hellooo… you’ve met my family!” He pauses with a dramatic eye roll while he sinks back into his seat. Then he asks, “What can I do to help?”
“Nothing.”
“That’s bullshit. My dad’s a great fucking lawyer and he has lots of great fucking contacts… So what can I do to help ease your worry?”
“I don’t know, JJ.”
His head cants towards me on the headrest as he nudges my shoulder with his. “We’ll figure it out. But for now, try and focus on the game. The last thing anyone needs is Coach benching your ass again.”
“It’s not that simple. I can’t just turn off my anxiety and play hockey like there’s nothing else going on.”
“Yeah, you can. Because if you don’t, you’ll lose your position on the team, and you don’t want that.”
“I don’t…”
“No, and I won’t let you fuck this up.” He gestures between us. “It’s our year, remember?”
Nodding, I settle back into my seat, focusing my stare on the floor of the bus as I pull out my earplugs and put them in.
Jayden’s right, I don’t want to screw up the team’s chances at making the Play Offs. Same way that I don’t want to jeopardize my place in it. I’m just not sure how to make it all work out while keeping Finley safe.