Chapter 27
FINLEY
LA is beautiful. A tantalizing landscape of desert meets city meets ocean that’s got me speechless.
Maybe the company has something to do with it.
Jayden is unlike anyone I know. He’s funny and sweet, but there’s always a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.
Not to mention that when his serious side comes out, the intensity of it blows me away.
It makes me believe that I’m safe with him.
Safe enough that while we’re walking side by side around the busy mall, I find myself getting closer to him.
Last night has left me on edge. With a need to look over my shoulder, to check the shadows around me. It only adds to the churn of worry stirring in my gut. Elijah looked awful when Jayden brought him home to me. His feet couldn’t keep him straight on wobbly legs.
If he hadn’t begged me to leave him to sleep his migraine off, I would be at his side now. I know Jayden would too with the way he keeps checking his phone after he made Elijah promise that he would call or text if he needs anything—me, him… us to return.
“Before we grab dinner, there’s something you need.” Jayden’s hand grasps mine as we turn the corner and he guides me into a large tech store.
“Is Elijah really okay?” The guilt of leaving him at home all alone when he looked so terrible won’t dissipate one bit. So, I keep asking the same question in a myriad of ways, hoping that if Jayden keeps telling me he’s fine, acceptance will click into place, and I’ll be able to enjoy the moment.
Then I think about mine and Jayden’s almost kiss, and I know I won’t because what kind of woman falls for the best friend of the man they love? Aches for both of their kisses? Both of their touches? Their smiles? And, God…
Christina’s right. I need to do something about all this pent-up yearning. Soon…
“Eli gets these headaches sometimes. When he has a migraine, the best thing to do is to let him sleep it off.”
“He never used to get sick like this.”
Jayden’s hand squeezes mine lightly. “There’s a lot of pressure right now to win. You know, we made it to the conference final last season… anything less and it’s not good enough.”
At his tense tone, I find myself inching even closer to him. My fingers thread through his like I might be able to take some of the weight from him. Alleviate the pressure somehow.
I think the only way to do it is to change the conversation. Even if the worry tightening my chest lingers as we continue walking through the store.
Noticing the way he keeps his head down and his Comets cap low over his face, I ask, “Why are you wearing a team hat to hide your identity?”
A grin hitches up on one side of his face. “Well, no one expects a Comets’ player to be stupid enough to wear one to blend into the crowd, so they don’t bother staring too hard.”
“That makes perfect sense, Hotshot,” I chuckle, looking around to see that very few people are looking our way. Color me impressed; there’s method to his madness.
“So, what’s your favorite color, Lucky?”
“Purple. Like, you know, wisteria? It’s a flowering vine that used to grow around my grandma’s porch.”
His hand squeezes mine tight, the excitement beaming in his eyes palpable as a half-bitten smile cuts across his face.
“Called it,” he says, tugging me completely into his side before he drapes his arm over my shoulders.
Like when he embraced me yesterday, I get a deep-seated spark of contentment in my belly.
It makes it almost impossible for me to coordinate my feet when Jayden directs me to the side of the customer desk, down a corridor to a set of misted glass doors. “Bibi loves wisteria.”
“Bibi?”
“My grandma... she’s my mom’s mom.”
“Why do you call her bibi?”
“It’s the Persian endearment.”
“Persian?” I turn to him, assessing all his handsome features.
It makes sense.
“Bibi likes to tell us about her garden in Tehran… where she’s from. When they left, Baba brought some seeds with him, and they planted them when they found their home. It’s where she laid his ashes.”
“Baba… is that your grandfather?”
His cheeks flush. “Yeah. Sorry. It’s a habit.”
“Don’t be sorry, I like it. It sounds nice… cute…”
“Cute…” Jayden trails off, twisting his cap backwards to show his face.
“What?” I snicker at the narrow-eyed look he spears me with.
With a roll of his eyes, he huffs out a long breath as we come to a stop outside a glass encased room.
“So, I know you’re going to argue with me, but you should be aware that I will argue back. I’ll keep arguing until I wear you down and I get my way.”
“Huh?” I frown at his bizarre remark.
“I always get my way, Finley-James.”
“Ugh, not you, too. It’s the worst name ever and—”
“I think it suits you. It’s… cute.” Jayden twists a strand of my hair around his finger, his stare holding mine as though there’s more he wants to say. While I keep waiting for it, he never does. Not a word while he gently moves the curl to the side and slowly unravels it over the rest.
Like before, I’m awash with sensation. The anticipation of his touch has my pulse picking up so that it’s whooshing in my ears.
I don’t know what’s happening to me, but the longer the moment goes on, a niggling thought begins to murmur through my stupor.
He’s not Elijah.
Jayden’s not my person. He’s not the man I’ve loved since we were children, and he’s not the one I’m meant to be feeling anything for.
What am I doing?
“Jayden…”
“No arguments,” he grins at me as he taps his iPhone on the reader on the door to the glass room, and it slides open for him.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Morrow.” A woman greets him when we walk in.
Pausing at the front desk, he greets her in return. “Hi, you must be Jennifer.”
“Yes, Mr. Morrow, that’s me.” The woman practically froths at the mouth. It’s not like he actually knew her name; it’s on her badge. Her big badge with the font large enough for the legally blind to read in the dark. “I have your order ready for you. Follow me.”
“Fantastic.” Jayden takes my hand again—this time I’m too aware of his touch to ignore the way the calluses on his hands feel on my palm when he ushers me to the main counter. “Is it all set up?”
“Absolutely, the tech director of the store took care of it himself. Just like the last order,” she pulls a bag from beneath the desk along with a document for Jayden to sign, “everything’s inside and ready to go.”
“Thank you, Jennifer.” He gives her a grateful nod, dismissing her before he takes out a phone box and places it in front of me. “It’s all set up and ready to go.”
I look up at him from the box on the counter. “Thank you.”
It’s the only thing that comes to mind as he lowers himself to my height and takes out a lilac phone. “Your favorite color.”
“My favorite color.”
“Okay, so I got you these too.” He places another box in front of me.
“There’s an Air Tag for your keys, another for your purse, one to keep on you, and a spare.
That way, Eli and I can find you anywhere, and you never have to search for your keys the way he used to before I put one of these on his keychain. ”
He chuckles at his remark, but it’s another way of seeing how deeply he cares and knows Elijah.
Maybe this is why my feelings are so confused. Because we both care so much about the same man that it’s impossible for our emotions not to bleed into each other.
That makes some kind of sense, and I don’t feel so guilty about what I’m feeling for him. We’re friends with a mutual love.
That is it.
That is all.
“You’re not arguing with me. Is that a good sign?” He leans forward, tipping his head to the side so he can see me when he carefully moves my hair from my face, as though he doesn’t want to mess it up. “Finley?”
“This is very stalkery,” I say, trying to close my ribs around the overwhelming sensation building in my chest. It’s so big that I might burst.
“I told you I’d keep you safe, and if I promise something, I always follow through.”
“How much of this is for Elijah?”
Jayden stills for a beat, his stare lowering between us. It reminds me of my remark last night, how he ignored it.
“He’s the best player I’ve ever played with. Right now, his head is all over the place, and like you said back at the apartment, he’s worrying himself sick. So, if this helps him quieten it up here,” he taps his finger on my temple, “then it’ll help his game too.”
“Okay.”
“I’m doing this for you, too. You’re my friend now, and I look after the people I care about. Especially when they’re a lucky charm.”
Although I snicker at his reply, his words unfurl a new, unexpected warmth through me. Jayden is so open with his feelings; something that I’ve never had before.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been told to keep quiet on all fronts. The Lord sees and knows everything, and he does not need us to vocalize what’s inside us for others to hear. They don’t need to carry our cross and we shouldn’t tempt their envy with our pride.
“I promise I’m not a stalker,” he gives me a playful smirk that scrunches his nose.
It’s the first time I notice the two small scars across the middle of his bridge.
They’re etched deep like they’ve been opened multiple times.
So deep, I wonder how I didn’t notice them before.
Strangely, there are only a couple of barely noticeable bumps on either side, and his nose is still perfect.
I don’t think there’s a part of him that isn’t beautiful.
Certainly not the ones I’ve seen—inside and out.
“Obviously that’s what a stalker would say but—”
“I appreciate all of this,” I tell him, taking an Air Tag and putting it in the coin pocket of my denim dress.
I don’t know that the tracking device makes me feel safer, however, the gesture itself does. It bolsters the feeling with Jayden. Enough so, that I’m forward with my next remark.
“We both care about Elijah, and I think we’re both willing to do whatever it takes for him to be happy and the best he can be.”