Chapter 12AsherTheo
Asher
The blinding headlights of cars passing by made me squint, and the sheer silence in the car magnified the throbbing pain in my nose.
Not a word was uttered between Theo and me as he drove to his house.
Fight or flight mode hadn’t worn off yet, and adrenaline coursed through my veins like rockets, urging me to act.
But there was nothing to do. My hands were still shaking, and I had to keep reminding myself to breathe.
It had all happened so fast. It wasn’t until my feet hit the entryway floor at my apartment building that I even acknowledged that the fight was over. One moment, Louie was pummeling me. The next, Theo was there, and I was packing a duffel bag with my necessities because I was leaving with him.
My shaking fingers kneaded the seat in Theo’s car, a desperate attempt to ground myself.
I looked at Theo out of the corner of my eye and saw his clenched jaw—hands gripping the steering wheel.
He didn’t look scared at all. He looked focused.
The soft curves of his face and the constant smile that his pillowy lips were curled into were gone.
What remained was a man on a mission. He looked… determined. Ready .
I couldn’t say the same for myself.
My heart felt like it might detonate at any moment.
I couldn’t even fathom what I would say to Theo.
Nobody really knew how bad things were for me at home.
Coach Hughes knew a tiny bit, but I played it off when he tried to intervene by calling social services.
Cody knew only a fraction of what I’d gone through.
I revealed nothing unless a bruise forced some kind of explanation, and most people didn’t notice anyway.
Scratch that. Most people didn’t want to notice.
I learned early on that people don’t want to know the dirty details of what happens behind closed doors.
Because knowing means having the choice to act upon it, and nothing terrified people more than that.
Better to just live in blissful ignorance.
If it was really so bad, he’d ask for help, right?
Riiiiight.
It was my secret. Yet another source of shame that fortified the mask I donned for the world.
There were so many things Theo didn’t know about me, but he learned about my home life that night. One piece of the facade had chipped away, and I wasn’t sure if I was prepared for him to see the rest of what lay beneath.
What if he didn’t like what he saw? What if I were too gay? Too sad?
Too broken.
Theo rolled into his driveway and stopped the car. We both sat in silence for a moment. For the first time since he kicked down the door to my apartment and threw Louie around like a rag doll, he looked unsure.
He cleared his throat and said, “I need to tell my parents that you are staying with us. I can be as vague as you’d like me to be. All I need to do is look them in the eye and tell them that you need to stay with us, and they’ll get it. Is that okay with you?”
Even in the darkness, Theo radiated light. It was like he heard my thoughts the day he dropped me off. He helped me. He came back and took me away.
At that moment, I decided to take the first step into admitting some of my truth. “Tell them everything. It’s okay.”
Theo reeled back, clearly shocked that I said that. “Are you sure?” he asked.
I forced a nod. “I want them to know what you did for me. They’d be proud of you, and you deserve that.”
He shook his head, not in a bad way, but in a bashful kind of way that made me want to pepper him with kisses.
“Asher. It’s not about that. I don’t need praise.
” His belt was already unbuckled, so he was able to scooch closer.
“I’m just happy you’re out of there and safe with me.
” His hand cupped my cheek. It was such a tender, intimate gesture, even for us.
Buddy rubs and wrestling were common, but Theo was caressing me, consoling me.
It was such a stark contrast to the slaps across the face I was used to, and it was coming from him. Him.
I felt safe. I felt protected. The touch of his hand sent a wave of relief through me.
I’m really not there anymore. I’m with him.
My chest tightened, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe. It rumbled in my chest before rushing up my throat. I couldn’t stop it. The dam broke open, and a sob ripped out of me. The tears flowed as I heaved, gasping for air as the sobbing consumed me.
Theo pulled me in, pressing my face to his chest, and I just wept on him .
“I’m sorry,” I gasped. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh. Let it out, buddy. Let it out.”
As if the touch weren’t enough, those words pushed me even further. He was giving me permission to release years’ worth of pain, and there was no stopping it. It poured out of me in heaps, my tears drenching the shirt he wore.
“Oh God,” I cried. It was so overwhelming. I’d held it all in for so long and, now that I was allowed to let it out, I couldn’t control it. He held me tighter, and I cried more, gripping onto his shoulder, holding on for dear life, as it all came pouring out.
I don’t know how long we sat in his car like that, but it felt like an eternity.
Theo didn’t judge me. He barely spoke at all—he just held me.
Theo
I ran my fingers through Asher’s hair as he let it all out.
It was better in the car with some privacy.
He needed to let it out, and he needed to feel safe to do that.
It would be too hard with the spectacle of my family swooping in to shower him with affection.
Once my mom got hold of him, it would be an all-out smother-fest.
Speaking of.
I noticed the front door opening in my peripheral vision and turned to see Mom with a worried look on her face.
She began approaching the car, and I silently shooed her away.
She stood just a few feet before the car, trying to decipher what I was trying to signal with my hand.
She took another step closer and saw Asher crying in my arms. Her mouth fell open, and she cupped her face with both hands.
She gave me a knowing look, then nodded and scurried back into the house. Asher and I sat in the car for a while longer. It was hard to know how long, but I didn’t give a shit. I’d let him cry all night if he needed to.
Eventually, he slowly rose upright and wiped his cheeks.
I don’t know if he had any tears left, and maybe that was a good thing.
Maybe that’s what he needed—to just cry it out until he couldn’t anymore.
An embarrassed expression crossed his face, and he looked down at his hands, picking at his cuticles.
“I’m so sorry about that,” he said. “I just—”
“Needed to let it out,” I finished.
Asher looked at me with wide eyes before he smiled. “Yeah…”
We sat there, our gazes locked, before it started feeling like something needed to happen. So, I did an awkward drumming with my hands against the steering wheel and said, “I’m going to go talk to my parents. Do you want to come with me?”
He thought about that for a moment and then said, “Is it cool if I wait out here until you’re done? I just need to calm down for a second.”
He probably wanted a minute to himself before his whole life changed. As far as I was concerned, this wasn’t temporary. I made up my mind to never let him go back to that hellhole the minute I saw that fucker’s hands wrapped around Asher’s throat.
I nodded, then left the car and made my way inside the house. My whole family, including Roxy and Reggie, were all sitting in the living room, looks of consternation on their faces.
I sat down next to my dad and told them everything.
I didn’t look at any of their reactions as I told the story.
My eyes were cast down, gazing at my hands the whole time.
It was upsetting to talk about. Not because I was upset I got in a fight, it was upsetting that this was happening to Asher, and, if my memories of that night at Rowan’s party were correct, it had been happening for a long time.
When I finally finished, I looked up and my stomach dropped at the looks on my mom and sisters’ faces.
There was a moment of silence that Reggie finally broke. “You mean to tell us that her boyfriends were roughing up her son, and that fucking bitch did nothing?”
Mom tapped Reggie’s arm in a scolding manner. “Regina, language.” Then, she turned to me and asked, “You mean to tell us that her boyfriends were roughing up her son, and that stupid bitch did nothing?”
Roxy started pacing around the living room. “If I see that whore walking around town, I’m going to bust her fucking face in like that bastard did to Asher’s.”
“Do you know the guy’s name?” my dad asked as he cracked his knuckles. “The one who touched Asher?”
Jesus Christ, my whole family was ready for those two fuckers to sleep with the fishes.
“Guys, I’m pissed too, but Asher is waiting in the car and he’s in bad shape. We need to be normal around him. He’s already been through enough.”
My mom leapt to her feet. “Jesus! He’s still outside. What was I thinking? Let’s go get him; he must be starving.”
I wasn’t sure if food was really what Asher needed at that moment, but it was my mom’s go-to when it came to comfort. Are you feeling down, sweetie? How ‘bout a massive bowl of pasta to make your cares go away ?
Mom ran into the kitchen, pots and pans clanging against one another as she started cooking.
“Should I come out too?” Dad asked.
While my dad was big and scary as fuck when he needed to be, he was usually the calm one in the house. It wasn’t a bad idea to bring him along as a soothing presence.
“We’ll wait here,” Reggie said.
“Yeah, he doesn’t need the entire Moretti clan descending upon him before he even gets out of the car,” Roxy added.
“Girls! Get your asses in here and help me!”
Reggie rolled her eyes and screamed, “Mom! It’s one o’clock in the morning. Just because he’s upset doesn’t mean he wants three pounds of pasta shoved into his mouth.”
With Mom and the girls distracted, Dad and I went to the car. Asher was still sitting in the front passenger’s seat, but he got out when he saw us approaching.
Dad closed the distance between them and, before Asher could even finish saying hello, my dad wrapped him in his arms and held him. He kept Asher there for what felt like a while before he released him and said, “Let’s get you inside. Maria’s making food.”