Chapter 20TheoAsher
Theo
Mom was putting the finishing touches on Asher’s birthday cake, while the twins hung up a multi-colored Happy Birthday sign just above the doorway leading into the kitchen.
Unbeknownst to me, Mom had been planning a little party for Asher’s birthday since right after he moved in.
I swear, she had half of New Rochelle’s birthday marked down on an honest-to-God monthly planner that looked to be older than me.
I was so grateful for them because I knew this was going to be a tough birthday for Asher.
His mom hadn’t even tried to reach out since he left.
It was like he left and she couldn’t care less.
It had to hurt, but Asher kept those feelings close to the vest. No matter how many times I told him to talk to me, Asher equated telling me about his problems with dumping his baggage on me.
I hoped that someday he’d feel comfortable enough to talk about his past with me, but I couldn’t push him.
He needed time to figure out how and when he wanted to talk.
The pressure to make the party perfect left me absolutely clueless about what to get him. I’d racked my brain trying to think of a gift.
I wasn’t great at gifts to begin with, and it was hard to resist buying something cute, like a locket with our pictures in it. After agonizing over it for days, I finally landed on what I thought would be the perfect gift.
Cody and Rafael would be making an appearance, and I was excited to see them. It had been a minute since we’d all hung out because of their grueling summer training schedule at Montier, but they managed to get out of a couple of practices to make the trip home for the party.
I knew Asher would be happy to see them.
It was getting near the time when Cody and Rafael were expected to arrive, so I ran upstairs to check on Asher.
When I walked into our bedroom, he was sitting on the bed, looking out the window.
I didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know he was feeling kind of blue.
I closed the distance between us and sat beside him.
“How’s my birthday boy?” I asked, trying desperately to project cheerfulness.
Asher turned to me, and I could instantly see him masking his true emotions. The bright smile looked like a caricature of what a smile should be. “I’m good, babe. Just thinking… which is never a good thing, but I’m good.”
I’d closed the door on my way in and felt comfortable lacing our fingers together. “It’s okay to feel sad, baby. You don’t have to pretend.”
Asher closed his eyes and shook his head. “No, your family is throwing a party for me. This hasn’t happened since my grandma was still in my life. I feel really grateful right now. It’s just—”
His gaze became lost, staring at something that only he could see. “Nothing. Never mind.”
No, that wasn’t good. He needed to let it out. I wanted him to talk to me—it was too hard on him to keep it locked inside. I leaned in and kissed his temple before whispering, “Talk to me, baby.”
Asher shuddered when I said that. His gaze turned to me, his green eyes glassy with emotion. “I feel so selfish. I shouldn’t feel this way.”
I pulled him in closer, trying to give him the safety he needed to speak. “Don’t tell yourself how you should feel. Just feel it, Asher. You can talk to me. You’re safe.”
“I am, aren’t I?” he asked. The tears fell, and I pulled him into my chest. He turned his head and whispered, “It’s just… It’s so hard when the one person who is supposed to love you more than anyone can’t stand you. It makes me feel broken. Like, what’s wrong with me? Why am I unlovable?”
Those words. They hit me like a bullet to the heart. I hated that woman so much. How could she not see how special Asher was? How could she not treasure him? He was literally my favorite person on the planet. How could she be so cruel?
“No. No, you’re not broken. She’s broken.
Anyone who does that to their child is unwell, Asher.
It’s not you. She’s a bitter person who took it out on you because you were there.
Period. It has nothing to do with you. She would have been horrible to any child she birthed because she’s selfish and cruel.
” I cupped his face with my hands so I could speak my next words directly to him.
“You are the most lovable person I know. I love you, Asher. I love you so much.”
“Really?” he asked.
“With my whole heart.”
“Theo, I love you so much!” He leapt on top of me, shaking as he cried. “Fuck her,” he said.
“Yeah. Fuck her. You’re amazing, Asher. You deserve to be loved, and I’m going to love you for the rest of my life. You’re fuckin’ stuck with my big ass.”
Asher started laughing through the tears. Then, wiping his cheeks, he looked up at me and asked, “Promise?”
“Promise,” I said it with my whole chest because I believed it. Asher was my everything, and I knew without a shred of doubt that I’d love him until my last breath.
Asher
My hands fumbled with the wrapping paper. I didn’t expect gifts. I didn’t want gifts. Maria and Anthony were letting me stay in their home for free and even planned a birthday party for me, complete with freaking gifts. It was too much.
“Who’s that one from?” Maria asked.
“This one’s Theo’s,” I replied. I glanced at Theo, sitting next to me, and he looked kind of nervous. I was usually the one fiddling with my hands or biting my nails, but Theo was over there with sweat along his brow.
Everyone had gotten me something. Mostly gift cards, which were incredible, but Maria and Anthony bought me a gorgeous watch.
Theo must have double-wrapped his gift or something, because I was having way too much trouble, or maybe my hands were sticky from the cake?
My cheeks flushed as everyone sat there waiting for me to open it.
I looked up, nervous that folks might be getting impatient with me, and was met with a room full of people smiling at me .
Cody and Rafael sat across from me, the twins flanking them. Maria and Anthony sat on folding chairs off to the side because they wanted the “kids” to all sit together, and Theo sat next to me.
It struck me how lucky I was at that moment. I dreaded birthdays because, once Grandma and Pap were gone, it was hit or miss if Mom would even remember.
Gifts? Forget it.
Instead of excitement, I’d wake up with an ache in my stomach, knowing the day would let me down.
But that wasn’t happening for my twentieth birthday, and that was thanks to Theo and his wonderful family, who’d welcomed me in.
I stopped unwrapping the present because I needed to say something.
“Before I open this, I need to tell you all how wonderful this day has been for me. It’s truly the best birthday I’ve ever had, and I’m not just saying that.
” I imagine people could tell from the gravity in my voice that I was being very serious when I said that, and a few of them looked at me with sympathy.
It wasn’t the intention, but I had to acknowledge how special the day was.
“I started today feeling really down, and you all made it better. So much better. My life has become infinitely more wonderful since you welcomed me into your home. I just want to say thank you.”
I could see Maria and the twins looking like they were about to cry, so I rushed to change the mood. “Okay! Now that the sappy speech is out of the way, let’s see what Big Boy over here got me.”
There were light chuckles and guesses on what it might be as I finally ripped off the paper.
I didn’t know what it was. It looked like a gold-plated square, but when I picked it up, I realized it opened up.
It was two picture frames joined by tiny hinges that opened almost like a locket.
A picture of Theo and me during our first season with the Vipers was on the left, and a picture of us the day his folks dropped us off at Callahan, displaying the compass necklaces they’d given to us, was on the right.
It was the sweetest, most wonderful gift I’d ever received. “Oh, Theo…”
I tried to school my features, plastering on as much machismo as possible. I turned to Theo and nearly fell apart when I met his gaze. “Do you like it?” he asked.
The entire room washed away when he asked that. For a brief moment, nobody in the world existed except for him and me. My heart thundered in my chest as he looked at me with so much love. “It’s the best gift I’ve ever gotten,” I replied.
His smile was brighter than the sun. In my imagination, we slowly inched closer until we were able to lock lips and kiss each other sweetly.
But when I heard gasps from the people around us, I realized we had actually kissed.
Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
I backed away from Theo, my hands rising to cover my mouth, staring at him with wide eyes. I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I searched his eyes for how to react, trying to convey with mine how sorry I was that it happened, how I didn’t mean to do it.
I didn’t even know my hands were trembling until Theo pulled them away from my mouth and pulled me in for another kiss.
“Oh. My. God.” It was one of the twins. Couldn’t tell you which because I was locking lips with Theo, but it was one of them.
The kiss ended, and we parted. Theo had a little smirk on his face. “Couldn’t help it,” he said with a shrug.
My brain was mashed potatoes. What just happened? What is going on? I was still in shock as I turned to look at everyone seated around us who were, not surprisingly, also in shock.
Theo wrapped his arm around me and announced, “Asher’s my boyfriend.” We’re doing this? Right now? “I can’t pretend anymore. I’m in love with him. We’re together.”
Silence. Not a word spoken for what felt like an eternity.
“Theo. You’re gay?” Reggie asked.
“I don’t know, but I love Asher, so… I’m something.” His caress helped to ground me as I waited for the backlash. They’re going to kick us out. Or just me. Hopefully it’s just me. I don’t want him to get kicked out.
“No! You are not this cool, Theo,” Roxy cried out. “Cool people are fluid with their sexuality, and you are not cool. You’re a meathead jock.”
“Hey! Fuck off, Roxy,” Theo replied.
“Language!” Maria yelled. Then she looked at Theo and said, “Theo, if you had told us that you sold a kidney to get a pair of rollerblades with rockets attached that let you fly around the city, I would have been less surprised than I am now.”
“It’s not that surprising,” Theo scoffed.
“Are you kidding?” The twins asked simultaneously.
Theo’s dad lifted his hands to calm down the family. “Alright, alright, let’s all stop grilling the boy.” Anthony looked at Theo and said, “You have to understand, you are kind of the last person we’d ever expect to be saying this. I really thought Reggie was going to be the gay one.”
“What?” Reggie screamed .
Theo’s dad continued, “But, I’m old enough to know that life is anything but predictable.”
Through all of the hubbub, Cody and Rafael had been looking at each other, whispering things into each other’s ears, until Rafael said, “Well, if we’re all coming clean, then Cody and I would like to let you guys know that we’re together too.”
“THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING!” Roxy yelled. “Was everyone on the Vipers gay?”
“What the hell was Hughes making you do at practice? Naked leap frog?” Reggie added.
Anthony died at that one. Laughing so hard he started wheezing.
Theo stood up, pointing at Cody and Rafael. “I knew something was up!” Then he turned to me and was about to say something, but stopped. “You knew, didn’t you?”
The word left my mouth slowly, cautiously. “Maybe…”
“You didn’t tell me!”
“It wasn’t my place to tell,” I replied.
Cody put his hand on the table, getting Theo’s attention. “We told him not to. He caught us kissing, that’s how he found out.”
I grabbed Theo’s hand and pulled him down to sit next to me. “Please don’t be mad. You know I would have told you if I could.”
“I’m not mad,” Theo said, “It’s just funny that we were all tiptoeing around, trying to keep it a secret that we’re messing around with dudes. If we were just honest, we could have talked about this years ago.”
“Okay, he’s not only dating dudes, but he’s also insightful now?” Reggie asked. “I need to go to bed soon before another revelation gives me a stroke. ”
“Well, I always wanted another son, and I got one.” Maria approached and planted a big kiss on my forehead. “Happy birthday, baby. Welcome to the family. Officially. I still expect grandchildren.”
“Mom, too soon!” Theo groaned as he pinched his nose. Then he pulled me in closer and kissed me on the cheek. “Happy birthday, Pretty Boy.”
It was my turn to pull him in for a kiss. Twenty was already off to an amazing start.