Chapter 14 Charlie #4
“Now you know. This is what you’ll get. It’s not all glitter and fun.
I’m not good enough for you, Charlie. I went in your shower, and there are three kinds of towels.
Who the fuck has three kinds of towels? That robe is silk.
It cost more than I make in a month. You’re a famous artist with a fucking house and a fucking steady income and three fucking kinds of bath towels, and you’ve got a good family, and I’m not fucking good enough for you. ”
Those words cut through Charlie like a knife. He suspects if he shows that though, it’ll be what sends Eden running.
“You think I’m famous?”
“That’s what you fucking pick out of all that?” Eden glares, and Charlie fights off the urge to cry because all it will do is give Eden the wrong idea. He’s not horrified or turned off. He is deeply sad, for a lot of fucking reasons, but he’s not sure his own feelings are what matter right now.
“I mean, I’m pretty, talented, and famous. You should totally use me.”
“What are you—what?”
“Use me, Eden. The way they used you. You can take whatever you want, and I won’t say no. You’re still making the rules here. You’re in charge.”
Eden’s jaw quivers, and Charlie moves without hesitation, crowding into his personal space.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Eden balks, his body taut as a bowstring.
“I needed a hug.”
Eden grumbles but there’s an almost imperceptible loosening of his muscles. This man right here, this beautiful, resilient man is somehow the strongest, most fragile thing Charlie has ever held in his arms.Charlie pulls Eden against his chest so he can’t see the way Charlie’s heart is cracking.
Fuck everyone who hurt Eden. Fuck them.
“I want a cuddle too, Eden. You can be the big spoon.”
“You’re a needy fucker.”
“I am,” Charlie acknowledges. “You’ll have to give me a lot of attention.”
“Bossy, too. What makes you think I’m gonna give you all these cuddles and attention anyway?”
“Because I’m cute,” Charlie whispers, breathing in the scent of his shampoo on Eden’s hair. He’s never considered himself a primitive man, but Eden in his clothes smelling like his favorite shampoo is doing something to him—something that might be altering his brain chemistry.
“Fuck you.”
Charlie hides his smile in Eden’s hair, pretty sure those two little words are slowly becoming his favorite.
“For what it’s worth, between the two of us, I don’t know if I’m good enough for you.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Eden’s fingers dig into his shirt. “Ever.”
“I’m not lying,” Charlie whispers, unsure how to explain how ill-prepared he feels for whatever the fuck is happening.
He’s spent his life running from relationships.
He doesn’t know how to be a boyfriend, or whatever else Eden might let him be.
But fuck it all if he doesn’t want to try.
“You’re perfect just the way you are. For what it’s worth, I like this version of you just as much as the skirts and makeup.
I like every version of you, and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, not because I pity you, but because it was wrong.
But I’m glad you’re here, and nothing you say is going to scare me away. ”
“Well then, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.”
“There are a lot of big things about me,” Charlie jokes, pretty sure he just pushed the limit of how much emotional honesty Eden is going to tolerate from him.
“Charlie.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
“Only if you cuddle me.”
Eden huffs, but the way his body relaxes into Charlie’s embrace says more than his words ever could. “If it’s the only way to shut you up.”
“It’s definitely the only way.”
“Fine, get your ass in bed.”
“Now who’s bossy?”
Eden smacks Charlie’s ass, and while it’s playful, he has to remind his dick not to get excited.
This is not the time. Getting into bed, he flops onto the right side, leaving Eden the left, closer to the bathroom and the door so he doesn’t feel trapped.
Eden says nothing, crawling onto the bed before shimmying under the covers.
“Ugh, even your stupid sheets are fancy.”
“They’re just plain sheets,” Charlie protests. “Andrew picked them out.”
“Whatever they are, they’re not plain. They’re soft.”
“Is that good or bad?”
“Good,” Eden huffs. “Fuck you for having a comfortable bed.”
Charlie laughs. At this point, he’s pretty sure a well placed ‘fuck you’ might just be Eden’s love language.
He climbs out of bed in order to turn off the bedroom light then crawls back in, half-expecting Eden to change his mind, but all that happens is that Eden carefully curls himself around Charlie, burrowing himself into Charlie’s side.
With one leg slipped between Charlie’s, an arm around his waist and Eden’s face shoved into his neck, he breathes a sigh of relief.
There’s something perfect about the way it feels to have Eden attached to his side, his smaller body managing to utterly surround Charlie. It occurs to Charlie: for all the countless partners he’s had and the nights he’s spent sharing his bed, this is the first time he’s done so without sex first.
“Hey, Eden?”
“What?”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Fuck you.”
Charlie smiles despite how close to crying he feels. Soft lips press against the side of his neck, and Charlie tightens his grip, holding Eden close. It’s not long before Eden falls asleep, his rhythmic breathing settling some of that fear in Charlie. Some, but not enough.
Charlie lays awake most of the night, terrified to fall asleep and have this disappear. The sun peeks through the crack in the blinds by the time he finally succumbs to exhaustion, dragged under by sleep and whisked away into dreamland.
Hours or minutes later, Charlie can’t tell, he jolts awake with a frown unsure what woke him. His frown grows when he flings an arm out and finds his bed empty. Sitting up, he rubs sleep from his eyes, gaze darting around the empty bedroom as a pitiful feeling settles in his stomach.
Eden is gone.