Chapter 18 #2
“I think you’re forgetting the most important piece of information in this emotional tug-of-war,” Briggs states, his fingers toying with a strand of my hair before tucking it behind my ear.
“This baby is half his in DNA only. When it comes to everything else, that’s your kid.
He’ll never lay eyes on him or her, and he damn sure won’t have any part in their upbringing.
So whatever choice you make, do it with that in mind.
It doesn’t have to be today, or even next month, but don’t let fear push you into something you might regret.
And as far as monetary support goes, don’t sweat it.
That’s an easy fix we can address at a later date.
Right now, we need to find you an obstetrician who has availability as soon as possible. ”
I have to blink a few times to clear the tears pooled along my lashes, my perception of Briggs shifting so quickly it gives me whiplash.
I’ve seriously underestimated the man standing before me, his tender gaze at complete odds with his rough exterior.
There’s so much more to him than the apathetic asshole I’d pegged him as.
I’ve witnessed how indifferent he becomes when Colsen shows concern over his well-being, how careless he is when it comes to his actions affecting those around him.
But tragedies come in all shapes and sizes, and something tells me his aloofness was bred, not born.
“Thank you,” I choke out, a rush of warmth flooding my system.
“I’m not sure how you knew what to say, but it’s exactly what I needed to hear.
” Without warning, I step forward and wrap my arms around him.
He’s completely stiff as I grip the back of his T-shirt like my life depends on it, but I can’t bring myself to pull away.
I need this hug, and when his body finally loosens and he returns my embrace just as fiercely, I sag against his chest, taking comfort in the simplicity of our contact.
We spend the next few hours searching the internet for obstetricians in the area, but it takes several tries to find one who’s taking new patients and isn’t booked out for weeks.
My appointment is scheduled for next Thursday, and when I question Briggs about how I’m supposed to get there, he assures me that transportation won’t be an issue.
I should be concerned with how easily I’ve allowed him to swoop in and save the day, but I had no idea it’d feel this nice to give my worries to someone else for a change.
Even as a kid, my thoughts were constantly plagued by adult responsibilities.
I never had the luxury of partaking in anything childlike, even the things that were intended to be experienced by children.
I have no idea what it’s like to wake up on Christmas morning and find presents from Santa, but I can attest to how embarrassing it is to have a stranger at the playground ask me about the gifts I was given and not have a clue what they were talking about.
My confusion was likely chalked up to faith-based reasons, but the truth was far sadder.
When I’d gathered all the information I could from the woman who certainly regretted asking me the innocent question to begin with, I quickly put the pieces together.
I never knew about Santa because Danny and Prissy never intended to play the part.
I was five years old and hadn’t yet realized how different my family was in comparison to everyone else's, but there was no denying it after that. I wish there were moments I could look back on with fondness or nostalgia, but there isn’t a single thing I miss about my parents because I never had them to begin with.
While Briggs steps out to make a quick trip to the pharmacy, I search my meager pile of clothing for an outfit that isn’t too revealing.
It’s Friday night, and the guys are hosting dinner at their place once again.
I’ve just finished changing when my phone starts to vibrate on the bedside table.
It’s likely Raiden calling to let me know he’s on the way, but when I glance at the screen, my stomach drops.
“Hey, Seth,” I greet him in a rush, my pulse spiking with fear. “Is everything okay?”
“Hey.” His one-word response is lifeless, not an ounce of inflection detected in his voice. “I hate to ask this of you so last minute, but would it be okay if Hudson hung out with you for a few hours?”
“Of course,” I answer easily, a part of me giddy at the idea of seeing the sweet little boy I’ve grown so fond of. “I need to check with Raiden and make sure he isn’t stuck at work, but it shouldn’t be a problem for us to come and get him.”
“I’m already here,” Seth interjects, shocking me silent for several seconds. “Outside. Parked by the bus stop.”
“Okay.” Despite my confusion, I slide my shoes on and head for the door. “I’ll be right out.” He ends the call, clearly uninterested in explaining his sudden need for a babysitter. Spurred on by Seth’s odd behavior, I run straight into Briggs in my haste to get to Hudson.
“Shit.” The bag he’s holding is discarded without a second thought as he reaches out to steady me.
“Where’s the fire, Angel? Surely you didn’t try to torch the place a second time.
That’s a bit of an overkill for one day, and this place is already going to reek of burnt popcorn for ages.
You got a pyro bug I should know about?”
“What?” I shake my head in exasperation, too focused to let his taunting sidetrack me. “Seth just called and asked if I could watch Hudson. He’s outside waiting.” Briggs nods in understanding, then grabs the shopping bag he tossed aside and hands me a bottle of pills.
“These are prenatals. Take one a day, first thing in the morning so you don’t forget.
They might make you nauseous, so I got some ginger candies just in case.
” My hand shakes as I take the box of lollipops, his kindness so unexpected it borders on painful.
When all I’ve ever known is the selfish acts of others, it’s difficult to fathom that people like the guys exist. Sadly, I didn’t even realize Briggs possessed this level of care until today.
I squeeze his hand in thanks and scurry towards the bedroom, searching for a hiding spot so Raiden doesn’t stumble across them by accident.
“Can we keep this between us for now?” I glance at Briggs hopefully, crossing my fingers that he’ll leave the how and when of my confession up to me.
“For now,” he agrees, a hint of reluctance tinging his words. “But the truth won’t stay hidden for much longer.” I tug at the hem of my oversized sweatshirt, a subconscious action I’ve picked up since I started showing.
“I know.” I nod my agreement, fully aware that I’m running out of time to come clean on my own terms. He dips his chin and switches the topic seamlessly.
“Let’s go and get little man,” Briggs states, a smile curving my lips at the mention of Hudson.
I quickly traverse the courtyard, ignoring the grumbles behind me about my speed and the dangers of falling.
As my feet hit the sidewalk, a sigh of relief escapes me when I spot Seth’s pickup.
Briggs keeps step with me as I cross the street, a silent shadow ensuring that no harm comes to me in the twenty feet it takes to reach the opposite side of the road.
I pull Hudson’s door open, my heart jumping with excitement when his eyes meet mine.
He doesn’t smile, but his hands reach for me as his feet start to kick, and that’s practically the same thing in my book.
“Hi, handsome,” I whisper sweetly, deftly undoing the straps of his car seat.
He jolts forward the second he’s freed, his tiny arms hugging me tightly.
I laugh at the enthusiastic greeting, thrilled to know he was missing me just as much as I’ve been missing him.
Five days have passed since the last time I was needed to mediate a breakdown in the middle of the night.
I thought about calling a thousand times, just to speak with Hudson and make sure they were both doing okay, but I didn’t want to interfere with any progress they might’ve been making.
That stretch of silence gave me hope that things were finally going in their favor, but judging by Seth’s appearance, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
His hair is greasy and unkempt, like he hasn’t showered in days, and I’d be lying if I said his declining mental state didn’t worry me.
The only solace I find is that Hudson appears to be cared for.
I step towards the passenger door, covertly scanning Seth as he stares straight ahead, focused on nothing in particular, his fingers gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles have turned white.
There’s a vacant look in his eyes that scares me, but I push aside my trepidation and greet him through the open window.
“Seth…” I patiently wait for him to turn his attention in my general vicinity, but the effort it takes to meet my eye seems to drain him even more, a feat I didn’t think possible.
“What’s going on?” I don’t bother asking if there’s a problem, not when it’s so obvious that something isn’t right with him.
The depth of his detachment is chilling, planting new fears I hadn’t considered.
“I’m sorry to spring this on you at the last minute, but I really do appreciate everything you’ve done and continue to do for Hudson.” Seth dodges my question, his gaze pinned to the back of his son’s head. “I shouldn’t be gone for more than a few hours, but I’ll let you know when I’m headed back.”
“I know you’re in a really dark place right now, but you’re not alone, Seth.
Whatever you need to do, take your time.
We’ll be here, and I promise to keep Hudson safe while you sort yourself out.
Just don’t forget that he needs you.” He swallows thickly, averting his eyes as he presses the button to start his truck.
“Thanks again, Andi.”