Chapter 41 #2
“I met Mia for lunch last week and asked her to reach out to a former acquaintance of hers, Belmont Astor.” Mia’s snort tells me there’s more to the story, but he continues speaking, stating, “He’s a trial attorney.
One of the best, actually. After everything that happened between Seth and Tobias, I thought it’d be prudent for us to secure individual counsel for Andi specifically, not just representation for the case as a whole.
We all know that Ada isn’t going to let her son’s death be swept under the rug, and the main person she’s focusing her wrath and blame on is Andi.
With her knowing about the baby, I want to take every precaution possible, which I’m sure we can all agree on.
” We nod in unison, completely on board with extra safeguards for Andi.
“Which leads us to where I come in,” Mia takes over.
“Bel doesn’t take on clients without knowing everything about them.
While doing his due diligence, he came across a private chatroom dedicated to Veritas sympathizers.
Long story short, he found a way in and started digging around.
With the current information he’s unearthed, he has reason to believe that at least one of their members is in regular contact with Ada Stillwater, but even more troubling is that one of the defense attorneys is under investigation by the Deputy Director of the FBI, who’s now aware of Bel’s snooping and decided to enlist his help.
He’s been instructed to continue monitoring their activity without raising any alarms, but you should know that he’s uncovered photographs of each of you with Andi. ”
“The fuck?” Dayton growls, surging to his feet so fast his chair topples over. “What kind of photos?”
“There’s nothing too incriminating or inappropriate.
Just each of you with her, sharing small touches that could easily be interpreted as proof of an intimate relationship.
There’s no reason to sound the alarm just yet.
As of right now, they haven’t done anything with the so-called evidence they’ve gathered, and Bel’s closely watching everything they do, so we’ll know if or when that changes. ”
“So you’re telling me that the person who’s representing these demented fucks is being investigated for their own criminal activities?” Briggs questions slowly, his banked anger begging to be let loose.
“Unfortunately,” Raiden admits. “And I think it goes without saying that this conversation doesn’t get spoken about beyond this moment.” We mumble our agreement, none of us keen on pissing off the Deputy Director of the FBI.
“So where do we go from here?” I ask, bracing my elbows on my knees and steepling my fingers beneath my chin.
“Act normal and don’t draw attention to yourselves. Situational awareness is imperative, but I think we should keep this quiet for now. Andi’s stressed enough without adding something else to the mix,” Raiden answers, steeling his shoulders for the backlash he’s expecting.
“You want us to lie to her?” Briggs asks skeptically.
“Absolutely not. If you’re too pussy to be the one to tell her, then I will.
” If there’s one thing to be said about the asshole, it’s his dedication to Andi.
It’s mind-boggling how drastically he’s changed since the two of them met.
I was terrified I’d find him in some back alley one day, dead from an overdose.
I didn’t want him anywhere near Andi, and now I wouldn’t think twice about trusting him with her safety.
“Just…” Raiden starts, pressing his lips together in agitation.
He probably hates that Briggs is the one waving the morality card.
“Just give me a few days. Let’s see what Belmont is able to find, and if nothing comes from his digging, then we’ll reassess.
It’s pointless to make Andi worry if this can be done and over with in a matter of days.
” I see his point, but the likelihood of that happening is slim to none.
“Three. You have three days, Detective Hardass,” Briggs asserts, looking perturbed that he’s even agreeing to the request at all.
“Back to name-calling, I see,” Raiden mutters, shaking his head in mock annoyance.
When the hell did they all get so close?
I’ve had a front-row seat to their ribbing all day, and though the backhanded comments are still present, there’s a hint of fondness as well.
Somehow, during the brief time I’ve kept myself apart from everyone while attempting to work through my shit, even Dayton and Briggs have come to a truce, a feat I didn’t think possible.
I guess this is what it feels like to be on the outside looking in.
“As for our next order of business,” Raiden comments, pointedly looking at his sister.
“And that’s my cue to leave,” Mia chimes in, slapping her hands on her thighs as she stands.
She pecks her brother’s cheek and waves goodbye to the rest of us over her shoulder.
And then it’s just the four of us, but it feels like I’m an interloper about to be put on trial with the way their attention keeps veering in my direction.
“I think it’s time we address the elephant in the room,” Raiden states the obvious.
“We fell for the same girl, but Andi isn’t some random woman, and none of us are willing to back down for the sake of our friendship.
Even if we were, that’s not what she wants.
” And there it is: the crux of the matter.
What Andi wants is in direct contradiction to everything I’ve grown up believing.
The prospect of sharing her goes against the very foundation I’ve built my morals around.
“So that leaves us with two options: we all date Andi, or no one dates Andi.” The silence that descends after Raiden’s statement feels heavy, like the reality of what he’s proposing is finally sinking in now that it’s been said aloud.
“I think Colsen has already made that decision for all of us,” Briggs grinds out, his anger flaring once again.
“You think this is easy for me?” I speak through gritted teeth. “I fucking love her. I pictured a life with her. I could practically hear Hudson and the baby she’s carrying calling me Daddy one day.”
“Fuck you, Col,” Dayton spits venomously. “You’re not the only one who wants that title, who’s had those exact same thoughts!”
“I know that!” I climb to my feet, pacing the narrow space between the brick balustrade and where we’re seated. “That’s the whole fucking problem, Dayton. I’m not questioning your feelings for Andi. I know they’re just as real as mine.”
“Then what’s so goddamn awful about sharing her with the three of us?
If you know that we’re sincere in how we feel and that we’d burn the world down before even dreaming of hurting her, then why can’t we figure out a way to make this work?
Making Andi happy is my top priority, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to be happy, too.
I want Briggs to have a reason to keep being a better man.
And without Raiden, we wouldn’t even know Andi.
So why, Col? Why can’t we all just be fucking happy?
” His genuine confusion feels like a blade piercing my heart.
“How do you not know why I’m struggling with this, D?
” I respond just as passionately. “Did you even stop to think about what the idea of sharing Andi would dredge up? How the parallels to my mother are keeping me up at night? How disgusted I feel that I’m even considering it, because my need for her is overriding everything else?
I swore I wouldn’t be anything like him, and yet here I am, on the verge of sharing the woman I love with my goddamn buddies.
Sounds familiar, huh?” My eyes are brimming with tears, but I feel no shame in how viscerally I’m responding to Dayton’s questioning.
Fuck him for not realizing how difficult this would be for me.
I shouldn’t have to spell it out for him.
“Shit, man.” He deflates, looking guilty and properly chastised.
It only takes him a few seconds to shake off the ass-chewing before straightening his shoulders, renewed determination glinting back at me.
“Listen to me, Col. You’re nothing like your piece of shit stepfather.
You’re not thinking clearly, brother. All you’re focusing on is the one similarity–the act of sharing her–but you’re leaving out the rest. He never loved your mother, Col.
Not like we love Andi. We’d never allow anyone but us to touch her.
This isn’t something dirty or salacious.
It’s four men, completely devoted to one woman.
It’s not a fucking free-for-all,” Dayton explains.
“I know everything you just said is true, but my head keeps telling me it’s wrong,” I acknowledge, feeling completely defeated and at a loss for how to move forward.
“Then let us be your voice of reason when your doubts start to creep in,” he urges, stepping closer so he can grip my shoulders.
“We’ve known each other for most of our lives, Col.
Do you really think I’m the kind of man who’d take pleasure in passing my girl’s body around for anyone to have a go at? ”
“There’s not a chance in hell of that happening,” Briggs growls.
“Agreed,” Raiden adds, both of them drawing closer until they’ve formed a semi-circle in front of me.
“Will you at least give it some thought? Maybe test the waters a bit before you make a final decision?” Dayton asks, his light blue eyes quietly begging me to agree.
I hate that their happiness hinges on whatever choice I make.
It feels like I’ve been given an ultimatum, even though I know that wasn’t their intention.
“I can try, but I make no promises,” I acquiesce, trying my damnedest to ignore the voice in my head that’s berating me and telling me how vile I am for giving this arrangement a second thought.