Chapter 5 #2
"I have stuff to make chicken piccata, or we can do take-out," I tell him, knowing full well I want to cook. It helps me to clear my head, gives me something to do that isn't worrying, and I'm pretty damn good at it.
"Whichever you prefer," Zill says, offering me a small smile. "I can't read your mind, so if you prefer one over the other, I'd like that one." He gives me a rueful look as if he's read me correctly before shaking his head and heading for the front door.
Instead of moving to the kitchen and starting to make dinner, I stare at the door.
I tell myself I'm not freaked out, that I know how to be on my own in my apartment without anyone else here.
Unfortunately, no amount of pep talk is making me any less scared.
I'm about to open the door and head across the hall to just chat with Brandr since he's the one on duty right now, but before I can, there's a soft knock on my door.
I peek out of the peephole, and Brandr's standing there, a smile on his face as he waves to someone down the hall.
"I'll watch her," Brandr says to Zill down the hall, his voice raised to reach him.
I should be embarrassed that Zill went across the hall and asked for one of the Lokans to keep me company, but I'm too relieved to care about maybe seeming like a big baby about the whole thing.
I swing the door open, and Brandr turns his smile down to me.
"Heard you need someone to keep you company while you cook. "
I poke my head out of the apartment and look down the hall to see Zill's back as he turns the corner for the elevator.
He doesn't turn around, but I know he knows.
A smile tugs at my lips as I give my attention back to Brandr. I grab his hand and tug him into the apartment. "I could really use the company."
Since the Lokans have been working as my security, I've been making more and more food so they can have something as well.
I haven't gotten the portion sizes right yet, since the three of them can put away everything I make and still talk about making a run for snacks.
Thankfully, when I ordered groceries yesterday, I ordered a ridiculous amount so I could attempt to make enough for the Lokans, which means I have enough to feed Zill and me until we're full.
The Lokans, of course, tell me it's wonderful, but it doesn't stop Brandr from leaving my apartment to grab something from down the street as Marr takes a plate over for Ingo when he wakes.
Now it's getting late, and Zill has unpacked his stuff and made himself at home.
He's been sitting on one end of the couch, reading something on his comm, looking more like Mauve than he has all day.
His shadows are wriggling on the cushion next to me, and any time I look at them, they start spinning up in more elaborate patterns.
I'm almost positive they've been slowly creeping closer to me as the night's gone on, but any time Zill's noticed it, he's scowled and they've returned to him just to do the same thing when he isn't paying attention.
The credits roll on the third episode of some show that follows the life of a clan on Rythar.
I didn't know anything about the planet until starting it, but it's clear to me now that I would love it there.
Not because of the lack of technology they use, which is impressive considering they brought their planet back from near-extinction levels of destruction years ago.
No, it's that they're all so free with their love and pleasure.
The clan the show is following is preparing to host a heat run, which I guess is something normal for them, but it's wildly new for me.
Rytharians from all different clans will meet up there, party for a few days, and then run around and have sex.
It's wild, and I'm not sure how much will be shown when they get to that part of the show or if they'll censor it.
Either way, I don't want to watch it with Zill right next to me. It'll probably make him uncomfortable.
I click the back button, taking me to the menu screen, and Zill looks up from his comm.
"Have you ever been to Rythar?" I ask.
His eyes narrow as though I'm asking him a trick question, but he clicks the screen of his comm off, tucks a foot under his leg, and turns to face me a bit more. "A couple of times, though it's not somewhere I'd particularly enjoy being regularly. Why?"
"The show I'm watching." I point to the screen and wince as I read the title again.
It sounded perfectly normal to me, but I also watch some really trashy dating shows.
The name 'Once Upon a Knot' really does not do the show justice, because it's about a lot more than just ruts and heats.
There's also all the partying the Rytharians do, and how well they maintain their planet when they're not all trying to have sex with one another.
"The show you're watching," Zill prompts, his amusement evident in his teasing tone.
"I was just curious if it's realistic. I know some of these shows can be fake or at least scripted to some degree."
Zill snorts. The sound is surprising to hear coming from him. "If anything, they've toned it down quite a lot."
"You've been watching?" I ask, face flushing.
Of course, he's been watching. He's been sitting beside me all night, and I only convinced myself he wasn't paying any attention because I was too curious to change it to something a little more suitable for company.
"I've lived on the planet," Zill says. "Whatever they show, I've seen ten times more vulgar either in person because they will have sex in front of anyone when they're in their gathering spaces or in their heads.
They're easily the species that thinks about reproducing and how to do it more than any other. "
"Wow," I say, though it does a poor job of expressing just how in awe and slightly scandalized I am by their culture. "Maybe when this all blows over, I'll go there for a bit."
I'm attempting to make a joke, but the stormy expression on Zill's face and the way his shadows go eerily still make me think it doesn't land.
That, or his weird mind powers are hearing something that might be a threat.
He grinds his teeth for a moment, his gaze piercing something on the television screen.
Then, as if it was just a weird little blip, he faces me, body relaxed, shadows slowly moving a bit more.
"Were you wanting to stay up later?" Zill asks, turning his comm screen on once more to check the time or maybe a notification.
"It's getting late," I say, more so because Zill looks like he's ready to leave, and I don't think he wants to leave me on my own unless I request it.
He stands from the couch, glaring daggers at the little pile of blankets I have to make myself a little bed out here. He shoots me a look that makes me think he's going to try to argue about this again, but instead of doing it, he just sighs and shakes his head.
"My shadows will be alert all night," he tells me. "If they hear anything or think there's something going on, they'll wake me."
"If you need to get up at any point, don't worry about waking me.
There's a fifty-fifty chance I'm not too asleep anyway," I tell him, smiling a bit to try to help make him feel better.
If anything, he looks more and more tense as he steps away from me.
Maybe I should've relented about taking the bed, but he'll be grateful I gave it to him in the morning when he's not walking around with a crick in his neck.
Zill checks the front door and then the balcony before standing in the hall entrance. "Promise me that if you get worried, you'll wake me or press one of the panic buttons."
"Promise," I tell him, and it's not even a lie. Now that I've seen how revolting some people can be, I'm perfectly happy to press the panic buttons and let people who are much bigger and stronger than I am do what they're trained to do.
"Good night, Reese," Zill says, my name sounding more pleasant on his lips than it's ever sounded before. I remind myself that all of this is fake, that he has no interest in me at all. Thinking otherwise is delusional.
"Good night, Zill." The words are a whisper said much too late since he's already closing the door to my bedroom.
Ignoring how I might be more than a little attracted to my new bodyguard, I click on 'Once Upon a Knot' and start up the next episode. I have a feeling that I won't be falling asleep any time soon, but maybe one day I'll feel safe enough to sleep through the night again.