Chapter 11 #2
His shadows flow over our hands and up my arm to the rest of my body. As we walk across the studio, his eyes narrow as we pass someone, his arm banding around my shoulders, shadows flowing down my back.
"Why do you do that?" I ask, wanting to know what gets him so irritated sometimes when most of the time he's pretty easy-going. His stern bodyguard thing hasn't shown up when it's just the two of us for a few days, but he's bringing it out today quite a bit.
"Do what?" he asks, the irritation on his face already gone, replaced with an easy smile. "You have to be a bit more specific since I can't exactly hear your thoughts, you know?"
"Okay, smartass," I say with a roll of my eyes. "Why do you glare at some people and others you don't?"
Zill's cheeks flare at the question, the blood rushing into them almost comically fast and tinting the peaks of his ears the same crimson shade. At first, I think he isn't going to answer, but after fighting with himself, he manages to open his mouth. "You're beautiful, I'm sure you know that."
"I do," I say. There's no point in lying. Again, I make my money partially due to my looks. Being coy about it does nothing other than make me feel fake. "But what does that have to do with you glaring at people?"
Zill shrugs, the movement pulling me closer to him. "Sometimes other people think you're beautiful too."
I shoot him an amused look, trying to bite back my laughter, but it comes out in my voice. "Are you upset at people for thinking I'm pretty?"
Zill runs his hand over his face, but doesn't shy away from the question. "Only until I'm in your head and know you're mine. And I'm not even mad at them. I like people knowing how beautiful you are. I just also want them to know they don't stand a chance at winning your heart."
"Oh," I say, unsure how to respond to that.
For Zill, I am his person. At least according to the small amount of research I did on Sombrans.
He already knows he wants me and will only want me.
That's a lot of pressure to put on one person.
Granted, he tried not to put that pressure on me.
Then I went and snooped, and now I'm feeling the pressure.
Oh, I really should've thought about this a lot more.
"What happened?" Zill asks, pulling me to a stop right outside the dressing room door.
I know I'm wearing my worry on my face. The severity of how much I'm realizing that I may have messed this whole thing up just because I thought he was hot is ridiculous.
Even if I want to lie to him, which I don't, it's not like I'll get away with it very well.
Then again, he said he was bad about reading body language, so maybe I can pass off the terror on my face as something else.
I'm not going to find out, though. If this is meant to be, lying really shouldn't have any part to play in it.
"So, like how serious is all of this?" I ask, darting my eyes down to stare at the middle of Zill's chest so I don't have to look into his eyes if he's disappointed.
I'm not ready for the chuckle that he lets out, but it comes out all the same. It's a soft, deep sound that instantly makes me feel less on edge.
"How serious this is, is for you to decide," Zill says, his laughter softening as he cups my cheek and lifts my face towards his. "As for me, well, it's as serious now as it was before you knew. Don't stress yourself out about it."
"Easy for you to say," I mutter.
"Would you prefer I pressure you into more than what you want?" Zill asks, his head tilting to the side as his shadows do their best not to overwhelm me, where they've started to spread from his fingertips across my face.
"No, but I don't know if I'll ever feel the same as you," I answer, the words feeling cruel but needing to be said nonetheless. "Humans don't have bonds like that."
"I know," Zill says, his lips pulling up into a small smile. "I don't expect you to feel for me as I do for you. I do hope you'll make good on the promises you were teasing earlier, though." His eyes seem to brighten as he speaks, the meaning in his words becoming clear.
I can't stop the smile spreading across my lips or the flush in my cheeks. "Are you saying you want to sleep with me?"
"Are you saying you don't want to sleep with me?" Zill counters, pulling his hand and his shadows away.
The little jerk is acting like I've just rejected him, and if it weren't for the way he's very obviously attempting to stop himself from looking amused, I might feel bad.
"You know that's not what I'm saying," I tell him, shaking my head as I enter the dressing room.
He follows, standing in the doorway, his shadows blocking out any space around him as though he himself is going to act as the door instead of using the perfectly usable door currently swung inside.
I raise my brows at him, curious to know if he's just going to stand there the whole time.
"Be quick," he tells me, patting the frame of the door before stepping back and closing it behind him.
Well, that's not exactly how I want this to go, but it's best if we don't get each other worked up in the dressing room any more than we already have.
I'm fast at changing into my clothes and washing my face.
By the time I'm fresh-faced, hair in a messy bun, and wearing my comfy clothes, it feels like an hour has passed, even if it was probably only a quarter of that.
"Your turn," I tell Zill when I open the dressing room door. He looks down at me, already changed back into his standard bodyguard-looking attire. I narrow my eyes on him and then look up and down the hallway. "What?"
"I set my clothes out here earlier," he says with a shrug, his fingers wrapping in mine, pulling me out of the changing room and down the hall.
"And you just changed out here? Where anyone could see you?
" A pang of something that feels way too close to jealousy zaps through me.
Based on the curious and almost smug look Zill is giving me, he hears it loud and clear.
I'm starting to feel like he's a dirty liar when he says he's bad at picking up on things that aren't blatantly stated.
Zill pulls me closer to him, lips skating over the top of my head as he places a kiss there. "My shadows curtained me, jealous one."
I huff but don't counter what he says. What would I even say? 'No, I'm not jealous of someone looking at your super sexy body, especially if you were all the way stripped down, because it's not fair that someone else gets to see that before me.'
Brandr is waiting for us as we exit the studio, the transport already running behind him.
He looks a little surprised when he sees Zill and me so close to one another as we leave the building, but he covers it quickly.
It's not unusual for us to be close to one another, especially since we're trying so hard to get the public to think I'm in a relationship with Zill.
The ride back to the apartment is quick since I don't live that far from the studio.
Still, it feels like it takes way too long, especially since Zill and I were more than eager enough to tease one another during the last shoot relentlessly.
The closer we get to my apartment, the more the arousal builds inside of me, an ache that needs filling, a desire unlike any I've felt for any of the other men I've shared my bed with for a night or two.
I don't know if it's because of the permanence that Zill brings with him or if I'm just that attracted to him.
Either way, we can't get to the apartment fast enough.
I'm already thinking about how badly I want to rip his clothes from his body, trail my tongue over the hard planes of his stomach, and ride him until we're both more than satisfied.
Brandr rolls down the window, breaking me from my thoughts. His gaze meets mine in the rearview mirror. "Do you mind?"
I shake my head, confused about why he's even asking me. Zill swallows hard, his eyes crinkling in the corner from where he's trying not to look too amused. That's when I know something's up. I elbow him, and he lets out a little bark of laughter before silencing it.
"What?" I whisper to him.
Zill looks up to the front of the transport.
"Just tell her," Brandr says, sighing in resignation about whatever it is the two of them know that I apparently don't.
"Lokans have a good sense of smell," Zill says, his shoulders shaking with the laugh he's holding in.
He leans in closer to me, shadows twining all over my body.
His lips brush against my ear and send a shiver down my spine as he whispers.
"I do appreciate how worked up you're getting yourself, though.
Makes a male feel good to know he's desirable. "
I make a guffawing sound, an unladylike thing really. But it gets my point across well enough, and Zill has his head thrown back with a laugh he doesn't try to hide. I shoot a glare up to the front of the transport, and Brandr holds up one of his hands as if he's surrendering.
"I wouldn't have said anything about it," Brandr says. "If it makes you feel any better, I can smell him, too."
And there's that little flare of jealousy again, and damn if that isn't more embarrassing than the fact that one of my security guards can smell that I'm turned on by another security guard who's meant to be playing as my fake boyfriend.
"She knows about the bond," Zill says, his fingers cupping my hand and giving it a squeeze, his voice all of a sudden much more serious.
That doesn't stop him from shooting me a wink when I look over at him, though, making it clear he's still enjoying this whole debacle.
"You should probably tell Marr and Ingo about having the windows down, too. "