Chapter 13 #2
His hand cups the damp bun I have my hair in as his lips press to the top of my head. He's acting as if I didn't just see him. They're in here arguing about keeping me safe, so maybe he's in need of more comfort.
"What are you really talking about?" I whisper up to Zill.
As he opens his mouth, Kolos interrupts. "I was being honest. He's trying to make me stay up here and babysit an empty ship instead of being useful."
"You don't even like being on Earth," Isha says.
Zill takes a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he shifts us around so I'm at his side, his shadows roaming all over my body over my clothing, his arm draped over my shoulders.
"No one likes Earth," Kolos says with a sincerity that has me snorting. His lips tug up on one side. "Not even your bond wants to be there. Can't blame me for never wanting to go planetside."
Zill stiffens beside me, probably not liking that Kolos knows something about me that Zill doesn't. I did tell him last night that I was more than happy to travel the stars with him, so he should know.
"Oh, he undoubtedly knows," Kolos says, speaking to me as if my thoughts were spoken aloud. "He doesn't like it that I know." Then, because I'm starting to piece together that his teasing is more to irritate Zill than it is about me at all, he continues. "Want to know what else I know?"
My face turns scarlet within a second of the question coming out of Kolo's mouth, and I don't know if I'm supposed to be scandalized by the suggestion in his question or not. But it's upsetting Zill just like it's meant to.
"The woman sings about sucking dick, I doubt her thoughts are any less lewd," Mauve says, startling everyone in the room with the brashness of her words.
Zill clears his throat, his cheeks stained pink as he flashes a look to me from the corner of his eyes. "Yes, well, Kolos is just trying to get me upset, so I'll send him down to Earth as punishment."
Kolos shrugs, his smile still bright. "Can't blame me for trying."
"I can and do," Zill mutters under his breath loud enough for the rest of us to hear, and Kolos lets out a little huff of laughter through his nose. Zill rubs the bridge of his nose before resigning himself to something. "Being on Earth won't bother you?"
"Oh, it's going to be the worst," Kolos says with a levity that doesn't match the seriousness of his words. "They're louder about wanting to find her when we're on Earth, but it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."
"Wait, you've been down there?" Zill asks at the time I ask, "Who?"
Zill's shadows still, tightening around me, but he doesn't answer. No one so much as moves because apparently I've well and truly stepped in it. In my defense, Zill's question seems about as invasive as mine."
"My soulbond is human," Kolos says with a shrug. "And yes, I've been down there plenty. I don't know why the three of you think I haven't been."
"Because you tell us you never want to go there," Isha says, throwing her hands up.
"I don't want to go there, but I have to go sometimes."
And I feel like a complete and total ass for asking at all. What does one even say in this situation? 'Sorry that the person who's a perfect fit for your soul doesn't want you?' That seems needlessly callous. My face pales as I remember how loud my thoughts can be to the Sombrans.
"Don't get all heartbroken on my account. It happened fifteen years ago, and I'm a perfectly happy male."
And because this is a topic that everyone on the ship is acutely aware of, except for me, I change the subject and hope no one minds that it's not subtle in the least. "So what is the plan for keeping me safe?"
"Oh, that's a lot easier to answer," Isha says, her tanned fingers tapping on her thigh as her shadows snake between them in a rhythmic motion. "We're waiting for you to tell us what would make you comfortable."
I cast a glance up at Zill, who gives me a slight shrug. "We can continue with Mauve's plans for showing the world that you don't care about the leaks, but Isha will be with us as backup."
"Isha and me," Kolos says, exasperation lacing his tone.
Zill continues as if Kolos didn't say anything. "We can blow off the other photoshoots, the interviews, and everything else. We can leave this solar system completely. Or we can do whatever you want."
"It's your choice," Mauve says, her thumb fidgeting with one of her many rings as she looks up at me.
"I made a mistake. I thought having you be in a relationship would keep you safe, but it's done the opposite.
Some of your fans who deluded themselves into thinking they were with you feel betrayed.
It's vile. Absolutely ridiculous on their end to think they stood a chance at all. "
"I don't blame you for not knowing that someone would be so upset about Zill that they would come after me," I tell Mauve. "And I've been safe. Zill won't let anything happen to me. He's an excellent bodyguard."
"I'll bet he is," Kolos adds with a smirk.
Mauve looks very much like the unimpressed and disappointed mother she is as she looks to Kolos and then back to me.
"As true as that is, I still feel as though this is my fault.
I should've known there would be some out there who had convinced themselves they were in love with you and would feel betrayed once they found out about Zill. "
"Being upset and going full stalker are two very different things," I tell her, feeling the need to make her feel better.
What she's saying is true, but she never would've done it if she thought I'd be in any danger.
"And nothing bad has happened yet. I mean, the break-in sucked, but that wasn't because of you.
That was because I didn't want to leave my apartment. "
"Yes, yes, we're all to blame for the bad stuff that bad people are doing to Reese," Isha interrupts Mauve and mines argument about who's more accountable for what's happened. "Gods forbid we blame the people actually responsible for their behavior instead."
Mauve's lips turn up in the corners as she shakes her head. "You're right, Isha." Mauve taps the table with her knuckle before sliding out of the booth. "I'll allow you all to figure out what the plan is. Zill will fill me in when you've finished."
"And if we choose to leave?" Zill asks.
"Just tell me so I can alert the media that Empress has taken her leave of this galaxy."
I snort at the dramatics of that, but don't entirely hate the idea. It's what I wanted in the first place. I want to leave Earth, leave my persona behind, and start a new chapter of my life. One where no one knows who I am.
There's still plenty of space to explore, and even if my life on Earth has been changed forever, that doesn't mean I can't have that fresh start I want on another planet. Even better would be to have it with the man standing beside me and journeying with him wherever it is he needs to go.
"Cute," Kolos says, attempting to be mocking, but there's a sadness hidden underneath the words that makes me think he's jealous of Zill even if he wouldn't ever say it. So when Zill shoots him yet another glare, I squeeze his arm and draw his attention back to everything else that's happening.
"Do you have a transport?" Zill asks Mauve, who lifts her hand to wave his question away.
"Of course I do," she says. "Isha, would you be kind enough to walk me there?"
Isha looks to Zill for approval, and when he gives it, she follows after Mauve, leaving Kolos, Zill, and me in the dining area. My stomach lets out a low rumble, alerting everyone that I'm hungry.
"Food synthesizer," Kolos points with his thumb to a machine on his left. "If the two of you plan to continue parading around Earth, make sure he lets me come down."
"I'll talk to him about it," I tell Kolos with a small smile. He shakes his head with a little snort and retreats out of the dining area.
"So, what are you thinking?" Zill asks, and he means it literally.
"I'm so hungry," I tell him, making a beeline straight for the food synthesizer and scrolling through the various foods it can make.
"As soon as I get something in my stomach, we can talk plans.
But we'll need to go back down. I need to speak with my family, and I'd like for whoever threatened me to be caught so I don't have to worry about them following us. "
Zill, who I didn't notice had followed me to the food synthesizer, wraps his shadows tight around me, constricting me even more when I mention someone threatening me. They stay tight even as he wraps his arms around me, resting his chin on the top of my head.
"Fine, but I don't have to be happy about it."
I tilt my head enough so I can see him if I strain. "What does it mean to solidify a soulbond?"
Zill's face catches fire, and he clears his throat as if he's choking on something.
His shadows, apparently not catching on that Zill is a little mortified by the question, are more than willing to answer me in the only way they can by snaking underneath the hems of my clothing and brushing against my flesh.
They manage to tickle me for a few seconds before Zill gets them back under control.
"Eat first, and then we can go over everything else."
I bite down on my smile, reminding myself that even if everything feels amazing because Zill is here, it doesn't mean that there aren't real problems just outside this ship.
Still, I kind of want to stay in here for as long as possible so I don't have to deal with those issues.
Maybe if I seduce him again, it'll give me a longer reprieve from having to go back out there.
The more I think about it, the better that sounds.