Chapter 23 Reese
REESE
Breaking News! Empress and new alien lover not attached at the hip? We spotted the Sombran out and about without his pop star earlier today.
"Has Zill let you back into his mind yet?" Isha asks me as I pull on my sundress.
There are only the two of us in the dressing room now that the photoshoot is over.
I'm more than ready to head out and go back up to the ship.
Now that we've gotten this out of the way, there's nothing else for me to do here on Earth other than wait for the interview to go live so everyone knows I'm done.
Mauve's already been teasing the official launch of the new album covers, using the photos I've already taken as promotional material. They'll net me a nice little chunk of credits, but by the time they actually release, I'll be out of Earth's orbit and exploring space at Zill's side.
"Not yet," I tell Isha. She's looking at her comm, her boot tapping against the dressing room floor. "Is something wrong?"
"No, he's just not responding to my messages," Isha says, shrugging as she slides the comm into one of the oversized pockets on her pants.
"Are they still at Mauve's office?" I ask, worry prickling in the back of my mind. Surely if Zill was in any kind of danger, he would've told someone.
I'm fine. Zill's voice cuts through my worried thoughts like a hot knife, and my whole body relaxes. I hadn't realized how much tension I was carrying just from those few small seconds of thinking he might be hurt or worse.
Where are you? What's going on? I ask.
My thoughts are probably too loud. Zill's told me a few times now that I don't have to force the words to him, that if they're directed at him in any sort of way, his shadows will pluck them up and deliver them straight to him.
I'm still struggling with that part of it, and I usually think a little too loudly and too directly, as if I'm yelling right into his head.
At least that's how he's described it. I feel bad about that, but it's something I'm actively working on fixing.
Right now, it's a little hard to control since I was thinking he was in danger.
Kolos and I are following a lead. I didn't want to bother you with it if it turns out to be nothing. Zill answers.
"Zill and Kolos are following a lead," I tell Isha. Her brows tug together, but she doesn't say anything else before pulling out her comm tablet.
When will you be done? I ask, hoping this time my thoughts aren't too loud, but also knowing that I just said it very pointedly with the intention of forcing it over into Zill's mind. I need to remember to be softer about it before I think about anything.
Zill is quiet for a long moment, and I'm about to push more thoughts toward him when his voice finally comes through. We're just about done, but it's best if you both head up to the ship, and we'll meet you there.
I frown at that, but then again, I'd much rather be back up on the ship where there are fewer people to worry about than down here on Earth.
There are all the people on the port station who could be dangerous, but once we're inside the ship, no one's getting in unless one of us lets them in or they're willing to use explosives.
Are you sure everything's okay? I ask.
It will be, I promise. Zill's thought is genuine, but he hasn't asked me yet if I want to hear the rest of his thoughts. Or if I'm ready to deal with the never-ending stream of thoughts that he has.
I'm learning to let them drift through my mind without fixating on any one in particular or attempting to listen to them all.
I want him to ask me if I want him to open his mind again.
It'll make me feel like he isn't keeping secrets.
The thought of that blares loud in my head, and I know he has to hear it even if it's not directed to him.
His silence is as much an answer as if he had spoken one into my head.
I try not to be hurt that he's keeping secrets, especially since there's no way for me to do the same.
"You ready to go?" I ask Isha, forcing myself not to be stuck on wondering what could be so bad that Zill wants to keep me out of the loop. "Zill says we should just head up without them."
Isha looks about as happy as I am, but she doesn't even know about Zill keeping secrets from me. Her head cocks to the side, eyes narrowing. "Something's happening."
I sigh and do a pathetic little pout. "Yeah, Zill's keeping his thoughts from me. I'm pretty sure he knows I want him to ask at least, so it doesn't seem like he's trying to hide something from me."
"What?" Isha asks, apparently her concern has nothing to do with my own relationship struggles, and that's even more embarrassing because here I am making this about me when it could be something serious.
She shakes her head, giving me her full attention.
"Just ask his shadows. They're the ones blocking you.
If you want to listen in, just ask them, and he's helpless to stop it. "
"Oh," I say, and now it's all on me, on whether or not I want to know what Zill is so obviously trying to keep hidden from me.
He probably has good reasons, right? And if he had asked me if I wanted to listen in but told me he'd prefer if I didn't, I would've agreed with him.
Still, the idea of there being secrets is what's not sitting well with me and what's making me lean toward doing what Isha suggested.
"Let's go to the transport, though," Isha tells me, drawing my attention out of my mind and back to the real world. "Something feels off, and I'll be less stressed if we can get you back on the ship until Zill is done with whatever it is he's doing."
"You're right," I say, grabbing for my purse. "I can have my weird relationship freakout in the transport."
Isha waits until I'm ready to go and then leads me out into the studio hallway.
It's eerily quiet, but then again, there are fewer people here than when we took the first set of photos, since Mauve implemented extra security protocols.
She even rented out the entire building for the day.
She made sure no other shoots were happening at the same time so that she could limit access to me as much as possible.
It's the only reason Zill decided he could leave me in Isha's very capable hands for the day.
Brandr is here too, waiting for us outside and keeping an eye on everything happening out there. He agreed to let Isha monitor his thoughts and told us he'd let us know as soon as something seemed sketchy.
"If it makes you feel any better, I doubt Zill's not sharing with you for any nefarious reasons. He's probably just worried that it might be upsetting for you, and he really doesn't like you being upset."
"I know it's not nefarious," I say with a huff. "Zill doesn't have a nefarious bone in his body. I just don't like him keeping it from me."
"Want to know what I think it is?" Isha asks, looking over her shoulder.
"Do you know?"
She shrugs, facing forward again. "I have a pretty good guess. He hasn't messaged me about where they are or who they're meeting, but that just makes it even easier to guess, in my opinion."
I chew on my lower lip. Is guessing what he's doing as bad as forcing his shadows to share his thoughts with me so I can know for sure where he is? The question seems so nonsensical, and since this whole situation is truly ridiculous, I decide I at least want to hear Isha out.
"What do you think they're doing then?" I ask, straightening my spine a little so it doesn't look like I'm petrified of her answer.
"If I had to guess, they're talking to someone in your family," Isha says, and my face flames. Not because I'm angry, but because if they're truly going to meet with someone in my family, they're going to hear all of the awful thoughts they have about me.
"No," I shake my head, the word coming out as more of a cry for help than anything else. Isha must hear the strain in my voice, because she whips around as though I've been physically injured.
"Reese, are you okay?" she asks, her hands moving to my shoulders, her shadows floating around my body. They don't touch my skin like Zill's do, but glide just above it, assessing me to make sure I haven't been hurt.
"I'm fine," I tell her, offering the weakest and most pathetic smile of my life.
"I just really don't like the idea of them meeting with any of my family.
Sure, Zill's going to know about all of the bullshit they've said to me throughout the years because he's in my head, but that doesn't mean I want him just getting a front row seat to the actual disdain right now. "
"Zill's not going to care about anything anyone has to say about you," Isha tells me.
Her shadows slowly fade away from me and wrap themselves back around her.
"Seriously, if anything, you should be worried about what he does to whoever he's talking with if they do end up saying anything awful about you.
If they just think it, he'll probably be able to control himself. "
"I know, but it's one thing to know something and a whole other thing to actually not let it affect me." I toss my head back and let out a groan. "Ugh, and Kolos will hear it too."
Isha chuckles, the sound causing me to tilt my head back down and give her a suspicious look. She holds up a hand as if to say she's not laughing at me.
"Kolos is the one who will do something even if whoever they're talking to just has a bad thought about you," Isha says.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I ask.
"Of course it is, and it does, doesn't it?" Isha asks, and she's not wrong.