Chapter 23 Luca
Iwalk into the Firebirds locker room. The first day after All Star break. The first day after Aruba.
And I can’t.
I am exhausted but vibrating with a tension that feels like I’m going to snap. It took everything in me to get out of bed. To put on clothes. To eat a protein bar that tasted like chalk.
It took energy I didn’t have to get in my car with my gear bag. To drive to the arena. To simply walk into the building.
And now I am in the locker room, the clang of a door echoing too loudly in my head. Everyone is giving their updates on how great their breaks were.
Makinen in Finland. Thompson fishing.
And I can’t.
I drop my bag on the floor. Open it up to get my skates out. Davis asks how I am.
Fonty starts going on about some fried shrimp he had.
My throat is tight. Someone is going to ask about Aruba.
And.
I.
Just.
Can’t.
I stand up and leave. Leave my bag. Leave my phone. Leave my keys.
Leave everything in that room.
I don’t have a plan. I just walk. And find myself down a deserted hall in front of a door to a storage room.
I go in and close the door.
I sink down onto a dirty floor that smells like floor cleaner and old rubber.
And I break.
?