Chapter 11 – Clay
“I wish I cared less about what people think,” Maggie says on a sigh.
“You get burned enough times; you stop caring what people think and do your own thing. You channel that energy into something more productive.”
“Is that what you’re doing?” she asks, her voice steady. “Harnessing the pain and anger from what happened with Savannah into something else?”
Her question catches me off guard. I hadn’t expected her to link what I was saying to Savannah—my ex from years ago.
Maggie had only been around twelve when Savannah’s accident happened, when everything in my life spiraled.
I didn’t think she’d known much about it.
But the seriousness in her brown eyes as they meet mine show a maturity far beyond her twenty years.
I clear my throat, “Life doesn’t always work the way you anticipate and there gets a point where you can’t keep holding in that disappointment.
It’s gotta come out somehow. What happened between me and Savannah was almost a decade ago.
” I cast her a sideways glance as I continue to drive, wondering if I’m getting through to her.
“I’ve lived a lot more in the time since then.
There will always be new pains and challenges to process.
I wasn’t referring to what happened between her and I. ”
Her eyes narrow as if she’s trying to make sense of what I could mean.
“You got a hobby or something that makes you feel alive outside of working at the hospital?” I ask, not sure where I’m taking this conversation.
She shakes her head. “Nope. But I’d like to.”
“Just gotta find something you enjoy that doesn’t feel like work.”
“Will you help me think of something? I’ve never really had a hobby. I like to imagine that if my mom were still here, we’d be doing things together all summer while my dad was at work.”
I hesitate, once again thrown off by her brutal honesty. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea...”
“Because you work for my dad’s fleet?” she presses, her eyes steady, challenging me to be honest.
“Partly, but mostly because I’m fifteen years older than you and have known you since you were a baby. Not sure it’s a good idea for us to be spending too much alone time together. Plus, I don’t think what we like to do in our free time would be the same.”
She snorts in response and my mind drifts to what she could be thinking about. “Why does age matter so much to you? No one knows when their last day will be. Time is just a construct that humans have created. Albert Einstein said, ′time is an illusion.’”
I furrow my brow. What kind of poetic, introspective shit has she been pontificating on lately?
I tap my foot, annoyed because she’s not entirely wrong, “Time can’t be that much of an illusion because age provides wisdom.”
“So... you’re saying that because I’m young, I’m not wise?”
This woman...
“That’s not what I’m saying.” I turn into my apartment complex, and cut the engine, turning finally to face her.
She smirks, “To be honest, I think I look more stable than you are right now. You go from kicking me out of your apartment after devouring the breakfast I made, to ’rescuing’ me from a pool party, to driving me home to your apartment, and now you’re saying you can’t help me think of a hobby this summer because you’re too old and it’d be ’inappropriate.
’ And speaking of old, are those grey hairs that I see?
” She reaches up to touch my temples teasingly, but I catch her wrist, holding it firmly.
I know she’s joking, but I can’t handle her gentle touch coupled with the playful banter right now.
Except as I look down, I realize I’m gripping her now, touching her anyways.
Her eyes widen as her gaze drops down to where we’re connected then back up at me like Bambi from a Disney movie—innocent, round, and impossibly beautiful.
“Look, I’ll help you think of some sort of activities to do this summer, ok? But you need to do this stuff with your friends, people your own age.”
Her blue eyes sparkle like the Gulf of Mexico, and her smile widens like she might burst into tears of joy.
She rushes towards me, reaching across the console, and flinging her arms around my neck, pressing her soft body against mine just like she had two weeks ago at the firehouse when she’d greeted me in a drunken haze.
But this time, she isn’t drunk, and her dad isn’t forty yards away in the firehouse, keeping a watchful eye on his little girl.
I can feel her softness and the way her curves press into my much harder frame, stirring an ache within me.
And now, she’s about to sleep just a few feet away from me tonight.
This isn’t a good idea.
She pulls back slightly, her perfectly white teeth gleaming as she smiles up at me.
“Really?”
I shrug, “I’m not promising to do whatever wild activity you come up with, so ask Lucy, or something.”
She nods, tapping her finger against her chin. “I can find someone.”
And I immediately imagine it’s the douche bag that she was drinking with a few weeks ago.
“Does this mean you’ll explain to me what you were doing the night you came into the emergency room?”
I chuckle as I exit my truck door and walk around to open hers. This time, she waits for me to open it. When she steps out, she wobbles slightly while my hands steady her. “Hey, are you sure you’re alright?”
She nods, her big brown eyes glowing with happiness despite everything. “I’m fine, Clay.”
I hum, weighing whether to press further but knowing we’re already treading on dangerous ground. If anyone sees us now, they’d jump to conclusions at the innocence behind what I’m doing, and I need to get her inside quickly, away from any curious neighbors.
“Come on,” I say, guiding her up the walkway to my ground-floor apartment. Once inside, I toss my keys onto the counter. “I guess I didn’t really need these with an A+ locksmith on hand.”
She smiles sweetly and lets out a soft laugh and yawn before settling onto the couch where she’d slept a few weeks ago.
“You take the bedroom,” I gesture to her, “the sheets aren’t clean but I’d rather you sleep there.”
“It’s not a big deal. I’ll just sleep out here.”
I shake my head, then without thinking, scoop her up into my arms and carry her towards the back.
Her body fits perfectly against mine, but as I glance down at her, I realize this was a colossal mistake.
She’s still nearly naked, just in her tiny bikini top, and her shorts are nowhere in sight, swallowed up by her toned thighs.
The thin fabric of her bikini brushes against my arms, and the faint scent of chlorine mingles with her intoxicating aroma, making my resolve falter.
I speed up, setting her down on the bed a bit more roughly than intended before turning abruptly to head back to the living room.
“You need anything else?” I toss over my shoulder, trying my best not to look at her but my gaze draws to her frame like a magnet.
She’s propped herself up on her elbows now, watching me with a curious gaze, her head slightly tilted to the side. A single sliver of moonlight spills in from the window illuminating her soft skin, casting shadows that only made her look more irresistible.
“Yeah… May I borrow a shirt?”
I nod, tearing my eyes away from the beautiful picture she makes laying in my bed.
“Take whatever you want. If you need anything, just holler for me.”
I swallow and turn away before she can say another word. Spinning on my heels I close the door behind me and collapse onto the couch. The discomfort of the springs in it feels like a punishment—one I deserve for all the inappropriate thoughts I’ve had about her tonight.
I scrub my hands over my face, trying to shake it off. My ribs ache, my hips are sore, and my firm cock reminds me I won’t be getting any sleep tonight but maybe that’s fitting. This is my penance for every dirty thought I’ve let creep in about Maggie... and I deserve every bit of it.
I slide under the throw blanket draped over the couch, fist my firm shaft, and jerk off to the fantasy of her in my bed. But this time, I’m in there with her and neither of us are sleeping...