Chapter 25 #5
It’s a soft, unhurried kind of kiss, a kind Claire has never had before. She’s never felt the need to kiss Pete outside of the necessary times—a peck on the cheek in the morning, a kiss or two before or after lovemaking. Quick and to the point. Tongue was never a factor.
This kiss is exploratory. Claire follows every whim, sliding her tongue along Jackie’s and letting herself learn by example.
Her hands explore every bit of Jackie’s body she can reach, and Jackie arches into her with a contented noise.
She’s so very soft—soft lips, soft skin, soft curves.
No whiskers or harsh noises. She smells good. She tastes good.
There’s not a thing in the world that could make Claire turn her back on this.
Outside the door a telltale thump and crash bursts the bubble of the moment, followed by a chorus of drunken laughter.
“What now?” Jackie whispers, against Claire’s mouth.
Claire knows what she doesn’t want to do. She doesn’t want to leave this closet yet. She doesn’t want to face the real world, with all its harshness. She wants to stay right here, letting contentment fill her up with every soft meeting of their lips.
But the party still rages outside. Pete is probably still at Martha’s, completely unaware that Claire is truly leaving, and there are things that need to be dealt with. Everything else can come after.
Many, many times after.
“We could go to my place,” Claire says, punctuating it with one last kiss to the tip of Jackie’s nose. “It’s not much, but it’s mine. I don’t think staying here tonight is a good idea, with Pete next door.”
“Or we could take off,” Jackie blurts.
Claire loses her train of thought entirely. “Take off? To where?”
“Anywhere. We can see the country. Go north, or east. We can get a motel,” Jackie says, all in a rush. “Anything you want.”
Claire’s smile threatens to split her face in two. She tucks a strand of Jackie’s hair behind her ear, tracing the line of her lovely cheek with the backs of her fingers. It feels as if she might die if they aren’t touching in every place they can be. “Are you asking me to run away with you?”
“I want some time with you, before everything kicks off. To figure out what we want and what to do next before the world catches up.” Jackie gnaws at her lip, pitching the idea like Claire might refuse. Like Claire wouldn’t follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked.
“How long?” Claire says, letting the reality of what’s happening fill her up like warm tea in a mug. “I think Anita would give me whatever time off I ask for.”
Jackie’s smile is radiant. “As long as you want. Wherever you want to go.”
This is perhaps the most control over her own life Claire has ever had. She’s not one to like making decisions, always aware of the judgement she’ll get for making a bad one, but this feels different. Natural.
“I could go for a vacation,” Claire says. “Like a honeymoon?”
Jackie’s grin widens. She scratches gently at the base of Claire’s neck, just at her hairline. “I’ve got a full tank of gas, and nowhere else I want to be.”
“What about your party? You can’t just leave,” Claire says, though she’s already making a list of the few things she needs to pack. “They could trash your house.”
Jackie laughs a little. “I’m selling the house. I don’t care. I bought it because I was running from something. I never belonged here.”
Claire leans back into Jackie’s hand—it sends pleasant shivers down her spine. “Neither did I.”
“So let’s leave it in the dust,” Jackie says, a hint of excitement coloring her tone. Perhaps finally she’s begun to understand that Claire is in this, just as much as she is. “I’ll get Theo to lock it all up tomorrow. He’s staying the night.”
“Are we really doing this?” Claire says, gripping tight at Jackie’s waist.
Jackie nods. She’s a little breathless. “I’m all in it. As long as you are.”
When Theo sees them come out of the closet together, quite obviously ruffled and glowing, he lets out a squeal of delight so loud that Claire is sure the neighborhood dogs must be howling.
“Fucking finally,” he shouts, pulling them both into a hug before addressing the rest of the party from over their shoulders. “Okay, party’s over. If you’re staying, find a spot to crash. Everyone else, get the fuck out.”
Eventually people follow Theo’s instructions, though not without grumbling.
While Jackie packs a suitcase Claire paces the kitchen like a woman possessed, full of manic energy.
She’s a battery charged up by Jackie, full of lightning and love.
NASA be damned, she could jump high enough to hit the moon.
And Pete is still across the street, clueless through the most earth-shaking night of Claire’s life.
He’s going to come home to a whole new world, where Claire will be gone forever.
She’s ready for her new start.
The house has mostly emptied when Jackie drags her suitcase across the foyer.
When she sees Claire, her smile is brilliant—as if she wasn’t expecting Claire to still be here.
She practically runs into Claire’s arms, and Claire picks her up a little in a sweeping hug.
She’s always tried to hide her strength, her height, her whole self to fit into a role—with Jackie, she doesn’t need to.
“Where do you want to go?” Claire says.
Jackie giggles in a giddy, girlish way when Claire sets her down that makes her want to do it again. “I think I need to see the ocean.”
Claire grins, pulling in Jackie—her girl, her sweetheart, her lover—until they’re close enough to share breath. Until she can press their lips together, losing herself in the softness of Jackie’s mouth again.
When they part for air, Claire smiles her first fully free smile.
“Santa Cruz?”
It doesn’t feel like a vacation, once they’ve stopped at Claire’s place to pack a bag.
They hit the highway with the convertible top down, Jackie’s hair tucked under a headscarf and Claire’s curls blowing loose in the wind.
The stars get brighter the further they get from the suburbs, and the wind is cool and bracing.
Jackie is smiling full-stop, their hands are intertwined over the gearshift, and every few minutes she looks over at Claire like she can’t quite believe she’s really here.
No, it doesn’t feel like a vacation. It feels like, after a lifetime of being kept away, Claire is finally heading home.