Chapter 4
ELI
“I’m sorry to hear that, Janice. Please send my condolences to your family.” I pinch my nose and clench my eyes together. A death in the family is my worst nightmare brought to life.
“My father had been sick for a while. It wasn’t unexpected,” Janice says, sounding deflated.
The news of her father’s passing hits a little too close to home for me.
Since my father was diagnosed with dementia and Parkinson’s he’s been in otherwise relatively good health, but I’m still waiting for that dreaded phone call to tell me that he’s passed away in the night.
I hate myself for it, but I often think it would be better if he simply slipped away in his sleep.
Watching my father, the man I idolize, suffer and fade into a shell of himself, while grieving the man he used to be is unbearable and is a kind of heartbreak I never knew existed.
It would be kinder to him and wouldn’t give the cruel disease that’s stealing his mind and body from us any more credit than it’s owed.
I can’t even imagine what life would be like without him in it.
It wouldn’t just break my mom’s heart; it would hurt her even more than it already does.
Every day I call her, and I can hear the longing to have him back the way he was.
It’s eating away at her, and she’s lost a lot of weight from all the worry.
My brothers might not notice the pain in her eyes or the tears that well up there, but I do because I try to visit Dad every day and also try to visit Mom every other day.
She’s told me many times to stop, but I can’t because it helps to settle the worry inside of me, knowing that she’s keeping herself busy with the ranch she hires out for weddings.
My brothers, Mom, and I might say we’re okay, but deep down we’re not and we all dread a fated call from the facility that could change everything. It will happen one day. But hopefully not yet. It’s too soon.
With empathy, I tell Janice, “Regardless, it will still come as a shock to you. Take as much time off as you need.” Being the first to arrive this morning, Joseph, our receptionist, transferred Janice to me.
My brothers and I understand how valuable Janice is, and if she needs to take a month off or more, I know my brothers won’t have any problem granting her that.
“You have no idea how much I appreciate that, Eli. And may I suggest we temporarily promote Samantha? She may seem skittish, but as my right-hand person, she knows every staff member, rule, regulation, and recruitment policy; she could recite them in her sleep. She’s more than capable of managing the team when I’m away. ”
“That makes sense.” I’ll check the clock-in system to try and catch her before the rest of the team arrives, then inform her that she’s being promoted and will receive a pay increase, and finally notify the human resources team of who to report to.
Janice then suggests, “And regarding the annual staff conference, I would recommend someone from marketing because Samantha will have her hands full, maybe Calvin, he’s—”
I cut her off. “I’ll do it.”
Shit.
What made me say that? I should have kept my mouth shut, but I absolutely do not want Calvin anywhere near Sapphire. The man practically has women falling at his feet because, according to my secretary, Tessa, he’s got the X factor, whatever the fuck that is.
What I do know is that he’s a smug bastard who seems to have a new girl on his arm every other week.
So no, he’s not going anywhere near Sapphire. She’s too wonderful for him, and she’s beautiful, funny, quirky, and those sapphire eyes of hers seem to invite trouble… ones I would love to stare deep into my soul as she sucks my—
“Eli? Are you still there?”
Janice interrupts my sinful thoughts as I shift in my seat, my cock hardening at the most inopportune moment.
Pull yourself together, Elijah.
I clear my head and throat, then lie through my teeth. “Sorry, Tessa was asking if I wanted a cup of coffee,” I lie; she won’t be in until she drops off her kids at school. “What were you saying?”
Janice replies, sounding exhausted. No wonder, as she’s been at the hospice all night with her family.
“That the folder for the staff event is in the human resources folder on the network. Everything is labeled, and inside the main folder, there is another one with every email between Sapphire and me. I’m sorry if this inconveniences you in any way, but like I said, Calvin could easily take ownership of the decisions. ”
“It’s okay; there are a few things I want to change anyway.”
“Don’t tell me, you don’t like any of Sapphire’s ideas?”
I try to justify why and fail. “They’re all a bit too…”
“Good. Different. And exactly what we need to bring new energy to something the staff complain about attending every year.”
My teeth grind together, knowing she’s seen right through me. “Her proposal’s just not very corporate.”
“And that’s why she’s perfect for the job.
” She releases a weary breath. “Look, Eli, you and your brothers all agreed that we needed to take a new approach this year. I think I did a great job of finding that for us. I know Sapphire’s company might seem unorthodox, but her reviews are outstanding.
She’s almost impossible to get because she creates events that are not only impressive but also inspiring.
Now, it might be that you don’t like the holistic approach she takes, but that’s exactly what we need.
This year is about having a team-building day that staff will talk about for years.
We’re also moving with the times and shaking things up a bit.
Long gone are the days when staff sit through seminars about the changes we are implementing to archive files, or updates to the regulations.
That’s not who we are anymore. We now handle those via email and during team meetings.
Please, just promise me you will open your mind to her ideas from an employee’s perspective, not a director. ”
I already know those damn Boomwhackers are going to steal the show that day, and I already dislike this year’s event.
It’s official, I’m turning into my cantankerous grandfather. My mom’s father was a miserable old goat.
“Okay,” I agree, feeling uncomfortable as another headache looms.
“Trust me, Eli.”
“I do.”
“Are you sure about that?”
No. “Yes,” I reply with a little white lie.
“Great. I’ll call Sapphire after our call, and I’ll inform her you’ll be taking over completely.” There’s an awkward space of silence. “Remember, this is her business, you’re not her boss, Eli. Trust the process.”
“I will,” I agree, even though I don’t trust well at all.
I also want to call Sapphire myself, but I don’t suggest it from fear of giving myself away.
Because for some reason, Sapphire’s already got me by the balls, and last night while I was in the shower, I imagined her giving them a tug that would have me roaring her name.
Fuck. This will never do.
Slowly spinning my chair around, I look out the window at the skyscrapers that resemble towering yellow crystals across the city, with the sun reflecting off the shiny windows.
“Have Sapphire email me.” I don’t want to see her.
Yes, you do.
No, I don’t.
Fuck. The truth is, I do.
“And Janice, after you call her, please turn off your cell phone and laptop. Family first, always.” Her mom and sisters need her more than we do. “And like I said, don’t come back until you feel ready. There is no pressure.”
“Thank you. You’re a good man.”
Janice has worked for Hart Law for decades, she loves working here, and has no intention of leaving us until she retires.
“Go now before I get emotional and start crying like a baby,” I say with a smile.
That makes her chuckle. “If you start, I’ll start up again too.”
“I should let you get back to your family. Take care, Janice.”
“And you. Speak soon.” She ends the call and I take in the view for a few minutes, before my day and stress levels ramp up.
“Good morning, Eli.” Tessa’s voice fills the office with cheer. “Your coffee just how you like it.”
I spin around in my chair to face her and place my cell phone on my desk, parallel to my notebook, pen, and the neatly stacked sticky notes Sapphire noticed yesterday. I hate an untidy desk. I don’t just hate it; it’s become a compulsion for my desk to be and stay perfect. Tidy.
“Venti, half-caf, extra-hot, no foam, triple shot caramel macchiato, with one pump of vanilla and no cinnamon.” Tessa places my coffee order on the drink coaster. “How did it go with Ms. Feelgood last night?”
“Fine.” It was anything but fine. I could see in her eyes that she thought I was a tool.
I could have been nicer, more accommodating, and less critical. But I wasn’t.
Straightening the files on my desk, even though they are perfectly stacked, I test how dreadful Sapphire’s icebreaker idea is. “Have you ever heard of a Boomwhacker?”
“Yes. Lightweight hollow tubes that create a musical note depending on their length.” Her whole face lights up.
“My kids race to get to school today because they do what they call Freestyle Friday. My kids love them, and the teachers learn a new song from the Billboard Hot 100 every week. Then they teach the kids. They did a show with them last year; it was fantastic.” A deep frown lines her brow. “But why are you asking?”
“It’s what Ms. Feelgood suggested as an icebreaker for the annual staff conference.”
Tessa’s face lights up even brighter than a Christmas tree this time. Sounding excited, she says, “That’s a great idea.”
“Really?” Fuck, I was hoping she would hate it. I hate it.
“Yes.” She nods. “I know that it meets the criteria to have an engaging event to perfection.” She touches the tip of her thumb with her index finger, forming a small circle.
“That’s a great way to kick off the day.
The team will love it.” She thumbs over her shoulder, motioning to the office that’s coming to life as 8 a.m. approaches.
“Great.” I pull a tight smile.
“You hate it.” Tessa smirks, reading me like a book.
“I don’t love it.” I move my stapler one millimeter to the left then move it back again. It was fine where it was.
She chuckles, then asks, “What else did you not love?”
I stay quiet.
“Everything then?” she gasps. “Elijah Hart, you have got to loosen up.”
I cast a glance at my stapler, then back at her. “I’ll try. Right after someone explains to me why we decided fun was the theme this year.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Because your brothers and the heads of the other departments outvoted you. It might just be the medicine you need.”
“Mmm. You know why I’m like this now.” Since my dad’s diagnosis, I’ve developed these obsessive traits I never had before.
My desire for order has led to some strange compulsive behaviors, which my therapist says are because I feel out of control.
All caused by anticipatory grief and uncertainty.
At this point, it’s almost taking over my life.
Frustrated with myself, I sigh and avoid eye contact with Tessa.
“But I’m getting help.” Tessa is the only person, other than my therapist, that I have told about my newly developed obsessive-compulsive disorder because she organizes my schedule with court dates and client meetings.
It was easier to explain than keep her in the dark.
Canceling my therapist isn’t an option. I need to get better. Stat.
“I’m proud of you, Eli.” She points at my coffee. “Drink that, then I will get you another. You have a meeting with Morgan & Spencer before lunch, and you’re going to need another four of those to prepare yourself for that.”
“I’ll need more than coffee.”
“Do you want me to make it Irish? There’s a bottle of whiskey in the kitchen.” She hums to herself happily as she makes her way to her desk. “Just give me the nod and I can make that happen. Morning, Cole,” Tessa greets him chirpily as she walks out of my office and he walks in.
“Cole.” I nod.
“Morning, dumbass.”
“Fuck off, bonehead.” Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish my younger brother and I didn’t revert to acting like kids again.
Being the two youngest, we were closer growing up than we were to Max and Nathan, but since we were entrusted with the family business to run after dad got sick, we have become a tight unit, and we act as one.
Still, Cole and I continue to tease each other because that’s what we do.
He sits down on the chair opposite me, lifts a pen, and doodles on a sticky note.
“Stop doing that.” I grab the pen from between his fingers, put it back in the pen holder, peel the note from the pad, fold it into four, and then toss it in the trash.
“Wow,” he says with a wide yawn. “You’re even more uptight today than usual. Did Sapphire Feelgood rattle your cage more than you expected? Did she not make you feel good?”
I shoot him a foul look of loathing. “It’s nothing to do with Sapphire.” It’s everything to do with her.
“I think you’re lying.”
“I’m not.” I spin the truth, then inform Cole about Janice taking leave until further notice.
“So, what’s Sapphire like?” he asks after we discuss the logistics of Janice’s absence.
“Different.”
“Different good or different bad?”
“Just different.” I don’t expand.
“Great, good chat as always,” he says sarcastically as Cole’s cell phone alerts him to a text, his eyebrows rising as he reads the screen. “Gotta go, Libby needs to talk to me about something.”
“I’m sure she does,” I drawl.
“We’re not like that.”
“Because she doesn’t want you to be, or you don’t?” I think Cole has a thing for Libby, although he’ll never admit it.
After Cole’s ex cheated on him with his best friend, he has found it challenging to find love again or trust anyone. I was hopeful he would find someone when he joined some dating apps, but he’s been on many dates though, and still hasn’t found what he’s looking for.
A sly grin curls Cole’s lips. “If you won’t answer my questions, then I won’t answer yours. And if Sapphire is as hot as Max says she is, then would you mind if I ask her out on a date?”
“Get out of my office.” I point to the door.
That playful grin of his widens. “Message received loud and clear.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“You didn’t need to.” He leaves my office laughing, sounding smug as hell.
“Asshole,” I whisper under my breath at how observant my little brother is.