Chapter 14
ELI
From behind my home office desk, I check the time and realize it’s later than I thought. Working all day and night in my apartment has led me to work longer than is healthy.
Is mindlessly scrolling through Sapphire’s Instagram account deemed as work?
I suppose I could pass it off as research. What I should really be doing is sending emails to clients, reviewing evidence and documents for an upcoming court case; instead, I’m dicking about on my phone, going googly-eyed over someone that feels so out of reach for me, and worlds apart.
Yesterday she threw me a curveball, and invited me to attend a fucking retreat I have no interest in attending.
She’s a tiny menace, and to her, I’m a tall annoyance. We argue for sport and maintain we’re both right, and she brings chaos and disruption to my strictly scheduled world.
We couldn’t be more dissimilar.
Any yet… her warmth is contagious to the point I want more of it.
My phone buzzes and there it is. Her name lighting up the screen, and my stomach does a little backflip and I no longer care about court documents and work.
I click on her text, my heart beating faster, already smiling to myself.
Sapphire
I can’t sleep.
Me
Maybe you should try taking fewer happy pills throughout the day.
Sapphire
Helpful, thanks.
Me
You’re welcome.
Sapphire
For the record, I don’t take happy pills. I’m a natural ray of sunshine. I beam.
Me
Now that you have mentioned it, anyone who spent time with you today must be blind, that dress you were wearing was fluorescent.
Sapphire
You didn’t see me today.
Shit. I saw her yesterday.
Sapphire
Have you been checking out my Instagram?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Sapphire
It’s okay if you have.
It’s not okay that I have.
Sapphire
Do you even follow me?
Nope. Nope I do not. I’m an overly interested spy.
Divert. Divert.
My thumbs hover over the keyboard and I eventually send a reply.
Me
Why can’t you sleep?
Sapphire
Your avoidance is giving stalker vibes.
Me
I’m not a stalker.
Sapphire
I think you’re a closet rainbow-lover.
Me
I am not.
Sapphire
Yes, you are. I posted a photo of myself to my personal Instagram page today, not to the Safire & Spark one, and I was wearing my pink dress covered in multicolored daisies. You’re a fan, fess up.
Deny. Deny.
Me
I am not. What do you want, Sapphire?
Sapphire
Oh, whatever, you stubborn mule. Anyway, I was just thinking…
Me
Hell, don’t do that, it’s always dangerous when you do.
Sapphire
Ha ha ha. You’re hilarious…
That was sarcasm, just so you know.
Me
Duh!
Duh? Who the hell says duh?
I’m a highly respected lawyer with more letters after my name than the alphabet, and I go with duh.
Fucking asshole.
I seem to be regressing as I approach forty, but somehow her sparkling energy and whirlwind of fun make me feel years younger. I’m certainly acting like I am.
Idiot.
Sapphire
Anyway… I was thinking of this as an option for the retreat and I wanted to get your opinion…
My nerves are on edge as I wait for her to send through her retreat suggestion and when she does, I hold my breath and click on the link.
“Nudist retreat,” I read aloud, my eyes popping out of my head in horror.
Oh.
My.
Fucking.
God.
A notification pops up at the top of my screen when she sends a follow-up message.
Sapphire
It’s in the Arctic.
Is she fucking kidding? I swipe up from the bottom of my cell phone screen to return to the link and fume at myself for believing her.
Me
It’s in Palm Springs.
Sapphire
Oops, sorry, that’s the resort I’m going to next year… I meant to send this one…
Me
What the fuck? You’re going to a nudist resort? Who with?
Is that what she does in her spare time?
Maybe she was serious about us both going to a nudist retreat. No way. Not ever. I’d rather suck on a blue-ringed octopus and die a horrific, lung-collapsing, paralyzing death than go.
Sapphire
Forget I mentioned it. Here’s the correct link…
If she doesn’t deny she is going to a nudist retreat, I might fucking lose it. Is she going with Kai? Will she be naked? For the whole weekend?
This is too much for me, and I’m totally unraveling.
Me
Sapphire, tell me you’re not going to that nudist resort.
Sapphire
I’m not going to that nudist resort.
Or maybe I am.
Fuck’s sake.
A new link whooshes through next, and I read the preview. Vajrasana Buddhist Retreats.
My fingers type back faster than ever before.
Me
A Buddhist retreat?
Sapphire
Yes. I got my words mixed up, you know, nudist and Buddhist sound the same.
Me
I don’t want to go to a Buddhist retreat.
Sapphire
Okay… so what about an extreme spicy eating weekend… to detox… tears, fire, and lots of bathroom usage guaranteed *poop emoji*
Me
Sapphire!
Sapphire
Or a karaoke weekend, meant for people who can’t sing?
Me
Sapphire!
Sapphire
Silent scream therapy? No talking all weekend.
Me
I like the thought of you not talking.
That’s a lie.
Sapphire
Ouch! But okay, so that’s a possibility. What about a survival weekend, like Bear Grylls? Survive on bugs… actually forget that, I’m vegetarian.
Me
Sapphire!
Sapphire
I guess a walking backward retreat is also out of the question? *laughing emoji*
Me
Will you stop? You’ve had your fun.
Sapphire
Well, I know what you think I do is foolish.
Me
I don’t.
Sapphire
Good to know.
Me
Those suggestions were though.
Sapphire
I sent those to make a point.
Me
Point well-made and received loud and clear.
Sapphire
So, you still want to go on a retreat with me?
Me
Yes.
Sapphire
Certain?
Me
Absolutely.
It’s probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever agreed to in my life, and I’m more convinced than ever that she’s stalling.
That irritates me because I secretly wish she wanted to spend more time with me alone, but her pushback makes me think I annoy her more than anything and that she’d rather jump onto a bed of sea urchins than spend another minute in my orbit.
Sapphire
I have an idea of what to book now.
Me
Can I trust you not to book us on a nudist retreat?
Although the thought of her naked already has all my blood rushing to the end of my cock, making it throb.
Sapphire
Of course.
Me
Please tell me you’re not going to one of those nudist retreats next year.
Sapphire
I’m not. But why do you care?
I can’t handle her line of questioning.
Me
Goodnight, Sapphire.
Like I tend to do, I abruptly end our conversation and then check my schedule for the upcoming week to reluctantly add the retreat to my calendar.
“Shit.” I curse when I realize it clashes with Nathan and Arianna’s wedding this weekend.
Where the heck is my head? It’s lost in a five-foot-zero cloud of chaos—that’s where it is.
I’ve completely gone off the rails.
If I tell her I can’t make it now, all it will do is make her think I’m too chicken to go.
Fuck.
I need to go and tell her in person.
It’s the right thing to do.
Another text appears from her, pulling me into her orbit yet again.
Sapphire
Tell me, Eli, when did you last do something that pushed you outside your comfort zone?
This conversation with you now is, and that feels scarier than any court case I’ve ever faced.
I swallow loudly and trace the edge of the table with my pointer finger, then reply.
Me
I haven’t for a very long time.
I’m ashamed to admit that. I no longer do anything on the fly.
Sapphire
You should try something new this week, push yourself to do something you’ve never done before. If fear knocks, answer it, and step through trembling. That’s where you’ll discover your courage. You need to learn how to mellow out. There’s no time like the present to start.
Me
And what do you suggest?
Sapphire
Skydiving.
Oh, hell, no.
I’m not doing that.