Chapter 43
YASMINE
“I don’t feel so good,” I mutter with my head inside the toilet, making my voice sound hollow and slightly boomy all at the same time.
It’s my father’s wedding in LA in two days, which Cole and I are driving to. Well, Cole offered to drive because he knows how scared I am of flying.
I hope I’m not sick for the wedding. It might actually be a blessing in disguise since my dad’s wedding seems like it’s going to be a chaotic mess, and his future wife appears intolerable.
She’s demanding doves at the ceremony, along with a hundred flamingoes and ice sculptures, all under a strict dress code requiring everyone to wear pink.
She can fuck off. My dress is black with a touch of pink silk underneath, and I told Cole to wear all black because I’m not making him wear pink in any way, shape, or form.
I don’t know what my father is thinking by marrying someone so unlike my mom. Clearly, he’s not thinking with his brain and just his dick. That’s the only explanation.
“I’m sure you’ll be fine for the wedding.” Becca tries to reassure me while my mom clicks her tongue in disgust. “There doesn’t seem to be a pattern to your sickness.”
I’ve spent most of the past four weeks with my head in the toilet bowl, and I’m so over whatever is wrong with me. I need to visit a doctor. Stat.
My mom rubs my back while sitting on the edge of the tub. “You work too hard. You need a vacation.”
“Or maybe you’re pregnant,” Becca blurts out, and a wave of heat instantly washes over me, the back of my neck feels clammy, and I can feel sweat beading between my cleavage.
Pregnant.
No.
I can’t be.
But wait.
I lift my head out of the toilet bowl, feeling dizzy, making me feel like I’m about to throw up again, not because I feel sick, but because my stomach is doing hypersonic somersaults and my throat feels like it has butterflies stuck in it; a nervous sickness I no longer have control over.
Becca lets out a weak laugh while eyeing me suspiciously, and I mentally do the calculation.
Cole and I had sex for the first time almost three months ago, and now that I come to think about it, I haven’t had a period for…
Fuck.
Me.
Sideways.
Three months!
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper, knowing that 100 percent way down in my gut without taking a test.
I’ve never missed a period. They aren’t irregular. I only take the contraceptive pill because I have heavy periods, and the pill controls them.
And I know I’ve been busy, stressed out at work, and the Wildcard app has kept us on our toes late into the night, and life hasn’t just been lifeing, it’s been more stressful than usual at FusionTech since we won several contracts back to back and I have not only been managing my team, but coding, organizing each project, and interviewing freelancers to temporarily fill in the gaps we need.
It’s stress, I’m sure it’s just the stress of work which has made my period disappear.
It’s not, you idiot. You’re pregnant.
This is terrible. Cole said he didn’t want to start a family yet.
I groan again with the urge to hurl, my stomach muscles contracting.
“Mina.” My mom breaks me out of my internal justification.
“You’re going to be a jadda,” I tell her, feeling woozy.
She lays her hand on her chest, her eyes turning watery with emotion. “Me? A grandmother?”
“Yeah. I think so.” I know so.
Becca claps her hands together, bouncing up and down on her tiptoes. “This is so exciting but we need confirmation. Stay right there.” She runs off, her voice trailing behind her. “I’m going to get a pregnancy test. I’ll be back in five.”
“I’m having a baby.” Cole’s baby. I rest my hand on my stomach. It’s never been a dodgy tuna sandwich or stomach flu I’ve thought I had for months. I am expecting a baby with the man I love.
I might not have told him yet to avoid coming on too strong, but I think a baby trumps an “I love you” any day of the week.
A million different thoughts whirl through my head all at once.
Will he want a baby?
Am I ready for one?
Is it too soon?
The day he asked me to move in with him, he was pretty clear he didn’t want to start a family right now, and that it was something to think about for the future.
Then again, at the ranch, the day I officially met all of his family.
His words from that day swirl around my brain. I want kids. Eventually. But that’s not on my timeline right now.
He doesn’t want a baby, not now.
Or did he mean ever? He didn’t say that but maybe that’s what he meant.
Oh God, now that does make me feel squeamish.
It’s definitely too soon.
Hell, we were a one-night stand before we were what we are now.
And with a baby, we’ll become tethered for life.
Is that what he wants?
Me? Forever?
I know I want him.
For all of eternity.
We don’t just click; we fit together seamlessly. We share laughs, cook together when we can, and always make time for each other, despite our busy schedules.
Some nights, we spend hours talking into the early morning about basketball, our favorite bands, places we want to visit, by boat, of course, because flying…
well, that’s not my thing. We’ve also shared deep conversations, like our goals, what we want to accomplish, and the people we hope to help in the community.
On the days I’ve felt unwell because we thought I had stomach flu, he worked from home and cared for me at his place because he didn’t want me to pass any bugs to my mom.
He snuggled up to me, made me drink peppermint and ginger tea to settle my stomach, and put me on a brAT diet, which I learned stands for bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.
It’s clear he cares deeply for my mom too. The little things he does for her, like bringing her macarons from her favorite bakery and hiring a housekeeper to assist her, truly touch both my heart and hers.
On the mornings we don’t wake up together, he’s the first person I think of and text to tell him how much I miss him because it’s true.
While he showers my mom and me with gifts and affection, I’m sure he notices all the little things I do for him, like his laundry and organizing his closet into color-coordinated sections. For Cole, that’s easy. Everything is black or white. Simple really.
In silence, Mom and I sit together in the bathroom, thinking, letting the reality of my pregnancy sink in, her smiling at me while I rub my hand back and forth across my belly which doesn’t even look pregnant.
I’m having a baby.
I still can’t believe it.
Some might say it was reckless of me not to use extra contraception with a guy I didn’t know, but it doesn’t feel that way; instead, it feels like divine timing. Like we are two halves of a whole.
When Becca returns from the pharmacy, I’m peeing on the stick and within minutes, two blue lines appear, confirming what I already knew.
I’m pregnant.
When Cole and I haven’t been together that long and this is a lifetime commitment.
One I’m not sure he even wants.