Chapter 28
ARI
Nathan places his hand on the base of my spine as he ushers me into the ballroom. It’s such a bold gesture in front of the most influential people in the city but I’m here for it. All of it.
Whatever is happening between us, it’s like a runaway train, and I’m on it not knowing where we’re headed.
Am I going to jump off? I guess I will have to eventually, but not now I’ve given in to this pull towards him. I can’t stay away.
Which scares me to my core, because I’ll have to tell him who I am sooner or later, but when? When will that happen? Will I trust my gut on the timing? Will I just know?
If I hadn’t slept with Nathan all those weeks ago, my life wouldn’t be this complicated. Yet, here I am. Maybe if I just asked him about my family’s case, be truthful about who I am, would he help me?
No way. Not if it’s questioning his father’s ethics.
What the hell are you thinking, Arianna? Keep mum.
So I’ll keep hiding who I am. For now.
And if we crash and burn—sorry, when we crash and burn—then I guess I’ll have to eventually deal with the consequence. Something I can’t even think about now.
And as much as I keep telling myself that saying yes to Nathan and stepping into the wild unknown with him will get me one step closer to his father, it couldn’t be further from my goal now.
I’m in so deep with Nathan because I like him. Really like him, and there isn’t a goddamn thing I seem to be able to do to stop us from happening.
Of all the men in all the world, why does it have to be him that I see myself having a future with?
This is terrible.
And wonderful.
Why does he have to be so handsome, and have a brain that’s as big as his dick, and why is he so goddamn irresistible?
He’s the whole package.
My stomach feels like it’s full of leaping frogs and I slow my steps down to steady myself.
“Relax,” Nathan says, as if sensing my inner turmoil.
“I’m fine.” I shake out my shoulders to ease the tension in them.
“You’re as tense as hell.” His lips find my ear. “Relax, baby, you’re about to meet my mother.” He chuckles when I groan, then plants a soft kiss on my cheek, which settles me a little.
Inhaling a deep breath, I prepare myself to meet the matriarch of the Hart family.
“Darling, you made it.” A stunning, wide-smiled, gray-haired woman wearing a stylish black gown strides toward Nathan with her arms open wide.
“Mom.” Nathan greets her with a kiss to each cheek and a one-armed embrace. Only one arm because his other is still wrapped firmly around my waist.
“How’s Dad today?” Nathan asks, sounding sorrowful.
“Much the same,” she replies with a sigh, stepping out of his hold, her voice heavy and weary. “He was sleeping when I left.”
What happened to his dad? And why is he not here?
This is something I’ve yet to find out because no one in the office ever talks about him. I’ve asked; trust me, I’ve tried very hard to find out what happened to Nathan’s father, but either no one knows or everyone has been asked to keep their mouths shut.
I’m thinking it’s the first one.
I can’t deny I’m slightly disappointed but also relieved that he’s not here tonight because I’m not sure I’m ready to come face-to-face with him just yet.
Nathan’s mother inhales a deep breath as if summoning all her willpower and paints on a smile and turns to me.
“And you must be Arianna.” She reaches up to cup my face. “You are very beautiful.” Her smile genuine, her eyes soften around the edges. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Have you?” I look up at Nathan in question. What the hell has he said about me?
“Oh, don’t worry, dear, the boys talk to me. Nathan, not so much.”
“Idiots.” Nathan surveys the room, sounding annoyed, and it makes me giggle. He’s such a grumpy bear when he chooses to be.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Hart.” I hold out my hand for her to shake but she surprises me when she pulls me into a warm embrace, surrounding me in her exotic fragrance.
“Call me Michelle. Mrs. Hart makes me sound old.” She stands back, giving me a good opportunity to get a full look at her. I’m not sure what age Michelle is but she’s beautiful and I bet she was a knockout when she was younger.
“That’s because you are old,” Nathan says, deadpan, causing his mom to swipe at his shoulder playfully, and he doesn’t even flinch.
“Excuse me, I’ll have you know there’s still life in this old gal yet.
” She straightens out her dress, then holds her head high.
“Enough life in me to chase some beautiful grandbabies around the ranch. When will that be, Nathaniel? When am I getting some grandchildren?” She claps her hands together in delight. I can tell she’s expecting some soon.
A fleeting mental image of me cupping my stomach full of Nathan’s baby enters my mind and swiftly flies away again as quick as a blink. I shake my head to rid myself of the cocktail of emotions swirling through my conflicted thoughts.
Where did that come from?
Nathan grabs my hand and gives a squeeze as if urging me to move. “And that’s our cue to leave. I hope you get stuck with Cindy Roberts all night,” he says dryly.
Michelle gasps, annoyed at Nathan. “I wouldn’t wish her on my worst enemy. She’s the most boring woman here tonight. She could spend an entire night explaining the life cycle of a plant.” She tries desperately to withhold a yawn of boredom.
“I know, enjoy talking about the speed a rose grows at.” He takes a step away from his mom.
I chuckle, loving how they tease each other. It’s refreshing, and such a special moment to witness between mother and son. I can’t imagine living with five men was easy. Being outnumbered probably made Michelle grow a thick skin and the skill to beat them all at their own game.
Envy weighs me down. I wish I had family to tease me.
“See you at the table, darling.” Michelle gives us a joyful finger wave and heads in the opposite direction from us, laughing as she leaves. “You’re sitting beside me, and we can talk future grandbabies all night.”
I file Michelle’s mention of grandchildren away, but I’m amused that she knows how much it makes Nathan squirm like salt does to a snail.
At dinner the other night he said he wasn’t sure if he wanted children. I wish he wasn’t indifferent about that.
God, why do I care? It’s not important right now; we aren’t dating, we aren’t anything, not really. Maybe we are, but a huge family is something I’ve always dreamed of having.
Since I was fifteen, life has been quiet.
What I wouldn’t do to fight over the last cookie in the jar again with Riley, who was the noisiest person I’ve ever met.
Messy and clumsy, and boy, did we fight over the silliest things.
If I knew then what I know now, I would have let her have the cookie. I’d have let her have every single one.
When I was fifteen and she was seventeen, we looked similar, and sometimes I find myself thinking about what she would look like now, what she would do for a living, where she’d work or if she’d have a family of her own.
I look around the shimmering room with golden chandeliers dangling from the ceiling.
I know Riley would have loved this because she was a sucker for watching the Oscars.
She loved the glitz and glamour and knew every designer dress the movie stars wore.
She’d approve of my dress tonight; I just know it.
With our fingers threaded together, because Nathan hasn’t let go of me yet, I follow behind him as he weaves us through a path of tables and dozens of people who all seem to know him.
He politely nods and shakes hands with everyone as he passes, and I do the same when he introduces me, not missing their looks bouncing between myself and Nathan as if questioning not only him being here but also that he brought a date.
It makes me feel special, because Nathan is a bit of an enigma and never does anything if he doesn’t want to. Specifically, no dating. Yet here I am.
Bringing me here tonight is a big deal. Bigger than I considered at first.
I feel like a princess.
His.
A billion different emotions and thoughts whirl around my brain as we eventually arrive at our designated table on the far side of the room. The only thing I never expected tonight was Nathan introducing me as his secretary.
I saw straight through him back in my apartment.
He toned down his previous confession about settling down.
I guess we’re both struggling with our feelings.
We’re torn.
“Are you nervous?” Nathan asks as he pulls out a seat for me, then he sits in the one next to me.
“You introduced me as your secretary,” I state, laying my purse on the table. It sort of threw me for a loop when he did that on arrival.
“And?”
“It’s just, you know, I thought you might have said I was your date for the night.”
Stop talking.
He pins me with a serious stare. “Would you have preferred that?” he asks seriously.
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. Yes. No. Maybe. Definitely yes.
His voice low so no one overhears us, he says, “Because I will if you want me to, and if I kiss you again right here and now then everyone will know you’re more than just my secretary.
Is that what you want? Because I honestly don’t care what anyone thinks anymore, but I know you had doubts and it’s taken a while to decide about us, and the last thing I want to do is scare you and move things too fast. But Arianna, baby.
” He urges me to swivel around in my seat and he cages me in, his thighs on either side of mine.
“I told you what I want and that is you. I don’t think it matters how I introduce you. ”
My pulse is beating so hard with a mix of happiness and surprise, I bet the whole room can hear it.
He adds, “And I don’t care if they know you’re staff and we are dating. I made up a stupid law, rule, guideline, whatever you want to call it, in my head about not dating staff, and like my brothers have told me, it’s a ridiculous one.”